A few days ago I received a phone call from a friend who was crying and quite despondent. When I asked her what was wrong, in between sobs, she said her beloved golden retriever had passed away that morning . Having gone through this same journey with our golden retriever Belle in 2004 this news brought back a flood of emotions. The news of Missy's passing reopened wounds that I had been able to suppress over the past seven years. ![]() Our sweet Belle was diagnosed with cancer in November 2003. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. One day she just quit eating and within days started losing weight. We had noticed her activity was not like it was, but she was ten years old so she no longer had the vim and vigor of a puppy. We were shocked to hear the diagnosis. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought dogs got cancer. She lived another three months before we had to make the toughest decision in our lives and that was to put her quietly out of her suffering. Let me tell you it was the most difficult part of the whole journey, but our vet was the best. She allowed us to stay with our beloved Belle until she took her final breath. To go home with just a collar and leash was devastating. In fact it was just a few months ago that I was finally able to let go of her collar and leash and surprisingly it still had her smell emanating from the purple 'necklace' she wore for years. For those of you who are pet lovers and have ever lost a pet you understand the emotional toll this can have on your life. Losing a pet can be just as emotionally crippling to one's life as losing a family member or friend. Belle gave us unconditional love. We used to say that if anyone came to rob our home, Belle would be more than eager to help, but first they had to play her favorite game of toss and fetch. She loved life and she taught me how to love life. And for those who say, "she was just a dog" I beg to differ. Belle was more than a dog. She was friend and a companion but most importantly she was a member of our family for over ten years. No one would ever think twice to say to someone who lost a loved one, "oh he was just your Dad" or "she was just your sister." Grieving is a part of the process. For some it comes gradually over time and for others it can be quite intense, but we should never feel ashamed or guilty for the emotions we are feeling. It's OK to feel sad, angry, even depressed, especially when the death comes suddenly. There is no time limit on going through these emotions either. I remember our first Christmas after Belle passed away. It had been ten months since she died and we were putting up the tree when I came across an ornament with Belle's photo on it when she was a puppy. The emotions surfaced and yes, tears were shed. I quietly found a special place on the tree to hang her ornament and to this day we still put that ornament on the tree as a reminder to us that she was and will remain in our hearts forever. For those of you who are walking through the journey, know that you are never alone. Sharing your stories of your beloved pet won't make the pain go away, but don't let anyone ever tell you to get over it. Allow yourself to cry, if need be, and know that while time heals some of the sadness, you will always have the memories of your pet to hold close to your heart. Have you ever lost a pet? Did you receive sympathy from your family and friends?
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I had kind of been preparing myself to loose her since she was about 13 years old, but then she started wandering off. My mom made jokes about "bailing her out of jail" whenever my cat ended up at the pound. And not much I could do about it from 1,500 miles away. About 3 months ago, she disappeared, never came back and never showed up at the pound. I'm sure she is probably dead, and even if she isn't, she is almost assuredly gone forever. Even typing this has been a real struggle though. I can't get past her just disappearing. Imagine if someone you knew could die soon, like a grandparent, just disappeared instead. How long do you hope they'll just reappear? How long until you let go and say that even if they hadn't disappeared, they'd still be gone? My partner is such a sweetie; he's been with me as long as the cat, and he has told me its okay to be sad because he knows how much I love my cat. But I struggle to let myself be sad when in reality, it has devastated me. Report
The others all except Malcolm had health problems and had to be euthanized.
Malcolm died in his sleep on his favourite chair aged 12. Report
One day I was perfectly fine, not doing much when my dad called me over and said 'they found Rosie, she didn't make it...' The minute it hit me was the day my heart was tore in half. As I type this I have tears rolling down my cheek.
As I got inside, I saw my mum crying her eyes out, just as much as me. I run over to her and didn't move for about thirty minutes.
Eventually I managed to ask what had happened. She was found 15miles away, run over.
Rosie wasn't curious enough to jump in a van or something, she was taken.
My dad went to pick her up from the vet while I lay in bed, not believing anything, trying to wake up from this dreadful nightmare.
He came back holding a little heap, wrapped inside one of my baby blankets. I couldn't look at her, instead I found the courage to stroke her ear. She was so cold and so still, she didn't flinch when my warm tears dripped on her. I yelled and snapped at anyone who used the 'D Word'
We kept her in the foot stool while we organised a cremation company. I wasn't in when they took her away but I made sure that I kissed her and told her i loved her on the day.
We got a new cat called baby girl which was quite sad as I used to call Rosie that. However she wasn't the right cat for us. We took her back and met another cat called susie, she was 2 and pretty playful, we took her home and she just clicked in as if she were the missing price to a jigsaw puzzle, she fitted in perfectly.
My dad is finding it particularly hard to come to terms with it as he used to hold Rosie in his arms and she would lay there, really content. We love pixie but never as much as Rosie cat.
For some coincidental reason, a few years before 5 year old Rosie passed,
I did some recordings of her meow. So whenever I feel in need of comfort, I can listen to her telling her mummy that she loves me.
She was too young and she didn't deserve this, we didn't deserve it either. She had about 10 years of future life to come and she missed it because one selfish man took her away from her family!
I believe that her soul is a star high in the sky and her protection and heart is guiding her spirit to roam our house prepared to defend us when in trouble.
RIP Rosie who will be loved and treasured forever xxxx Report
One week ago today, Jan 22...I woke to find him in distress, being a Sunday in a rural area, there was no vet available. He would go to the door and when I took him out, he would just stand there, maybe he felt himself using the bathroom, but he wasnt. Thru the day he got worse, for the first time in 9 years I had to sit helplessly and listen to my baby whimper and moan.
He drank and drank water, but as soon as he did, he would vomit.
I held him when he would let me, and tried to comfort him, but mostly he wanted to just crawl off alone. I honestly didnt expect to find him alive when I woke up early Monday...but at 4 am he was still laying there, no longer moaning or whimpering, but just dragging his body as his back legs were like jelly.
I got him to the vet as soon as the doors opened at 8am, and when they saw him they took him right back. The vet half heartedly discussed another surgery but they couldnt do it there and I would have to take him to Tennessee. and they couldnt even guarantee he would live thru it. She began to discuss putting in an iv to hydrate him....I began to cry knowing it was just a band aid, I knew on Sunday my baby would be leaving me. I called my son and told him to come visit Sparky or he would probably never see him again.
As soon as I began to cry, the poor little baby scooted his body over to the edge of the table close to me and looked me right in the eyes. He was always trying to comfort me in times of stress. I looked into his cloudy eyes that I wasnt even sure he could see me back at that point. And, I seen him pleading with me, stop crying and do what you have to do. The vet went out to get things ready and gave me a minute with him....I whispered in his little ear and kept telling him it was ok, the pain was almost gone and that I would see him one day. He laid his head down for the first time and almost seemed like he took a sigh of relief, as if he was saying, ok, I am ready now.... I didnt go into the room when they put him to sleep. I wanted our last memory of each other to be that I kissed his little head and called him little buddy as I always did and I let him go.
Now I mourn. Report
'Just a dog?' You don't love them any less when you don't give birth to them, and the human-canine bond is just as strong as a pareant-child one, at least to us 'dog people. Report
was his personality, and the quirks he had. We raised him on a bottle, and
he could count to 15, bow, kneel, play dead, roll over....so many things. He
did not have a mean bone in his body, a very small child could ride him safely.
He never tried to nip, would not dream of kicking, never once bucked with any
one on him. He was a complete gentleman. Many times he has walked into
the house looking for my daughter. He always knew I would sneak him a couple of treats and was good for some heavy duty petting.
I now live several hundred miles away and could not get home in time, when
my daughter called crying I knew what was coming, she said Mom I had to beg
him to get on his feet, he was in such pain, but for her to ask him, he struggled
and got up, but was in agony. She said he tried valiantly to stay on his back feet, because he was in so severe of pain, would pick one up, then the other
foot, and so she called me..........I told her to give him a kiss on the nose and
tell him what a good boy he was, faithful to the end, how much we loved him
and would miss him, but to wait just over the Rainbow Bridge and we would
come. I am crying my eyes out just writing this......but the next day, she called
and we were talking and I told her I had a dream, and we actually had the same
exact dream. Desert Ablaze crossed the Rainbow Bridge where RC, Snake,
Queen, Buck, and Amigo were waiting for him, rubbed noses and caught up with their gossip and they all took off running across a beautiful meadow, while
Jesus stood and laughed at their antics...His ancestry went back to Bask, so I
imagine him going around visiting everyone.
One other thing, he used to open his stall and walk out in the yard looking for
someone to visit with, and many times he went next door and walked up on
Rosie's patio and would stick his head in her window and nicker. She said so
many times he was the friendliest horse she ever knew. She would take him
home and put him up til my daughter got home from work.
We miss him, so much. Report
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I listened to this song on my iPod when I'd walk her, and it still lifts up my spirit. Maybe it will for someone else: "The Dog Song" (silly, quirky, cute):
http://bit.ly/doggiesongie Report
Unconditional love is right. It is special. Hugs. Report
You are right Nancy, lots of people don't understand what your pet means to you. Bailey was one of the family. When people called and asked how I was, or how my mom or brother was, I trained them to ask how Bailey was as well. He was definately one of the family. This morning when I came downstairs, my brother swore that he had heard the sound that Bailey's bell made when he was walking. It is difficult. I miss him so much, I miss the fun he was, I miss him waiting at the door for me as I come home from work. I miss him lying in bed with me until I fell asleep. Pets they are definately a big part of the family. Be well my dear. Report
Sept '10 we started fostering 2 yr old Missy (beagle mix). Jan '11 we adopted Missy and changed her name to Ziggy. DH loves her more than I do and it will be a very difficult day when we have to make that final decision for both Kirby and Ziggy. Report
About six weeks later, I was awakened at 0'dark-thirty to the tune of a rough rumbling sound in my ear. From that time on he decided we were good enough to claim as his own.
He was lots of fun and provided much in the way of fun and comfort. He had this sense when someone was feeling down and made it his job to get you back laughing.
He, as so many cats do, contracted cancer. From the time we discovered it until I took him to the vet to be put down was only about two months. When I came home to a crying wife, "I" couldn't hold it and started crying myself.
At the first of the year, we got a letter from the vet's office, and figuring they had screwed up and sent us a reminder of his annual check-up. I was FURIOUS. I started to call the office and give them a large piece of a not-so-pretty part of my mind when I thought I should open the letter and see exactly what it said.
"Dear Clarkson's,
I hope that by this time some of the pain has gone away from the loss of Bear. I know he was a big part of your life, and I have made a donation to my Veterinary School at the University of Missouri in his name.
I know he was loved because he decided to adopt you.
Dr. _________
______town Animal Clinic"
If you think we lost it before, and we did, it was nothing compared to our response to this letter. Report
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog Belle. Report
Those "creatures great and small" make our lives better in so many ways. Grieving when we lose them is only natural as is the hurt when they are no longer on this earth with us. I sure believe that the same rules of life apply to animals--like the Golden Rule--and they do so for a reason. It turns out to be all about love, caring, trust, support, friendship--all of the things that cannot be bought and that we cannot live without. This is written with Lady, Chloe, Scooter, Frankie, Jerry, Sugar, Ty, Larry, Bandit and Smokey sharing this room with me right now. Life is good and I am blessed!! Report
2 years ago my eldest cat (just over 13 yrs old) was diagnosed early with renal failure.
After 18 months of fluid therapy & prescription diets...I had to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge.
I miss her and my 'younger' cat who is now about the age her fur-sister was when diagnosed does too. But Marbles & I are muddling through and will soon be reflecting on the 1st anniversary of Toes' passing.
I get choked up and my eyes leak tears, often with little warning. I occasionally think I see her grey shadow out of the very corner of my eye.
Grieving is a roller coaster, whether for a human or a furred family member.
Cheers! Report
I now have just one cat, Bessie. When I adopted her from the same Humane Society where I had found Bailey, everyone agreed they were practically twins - looked the same and purr to their heart's content.
The love given and received by animals is amazing and everlasting in many ways. I will always love Bailey while the memory lives on. :) Report
I am still sad, also, but Zoe was our "puppy". Report
Dogs and cats can get Cancer & other problems because they so often eat the same food day after day. Report
I'm an ardent animal lover and have lost numerous faithful and loving furry and feathered friends during my life to date.
I still shed a tear when I think of some of them. I feel very honoured and fortunate that they shared my life and I know my life is much richer for having had the chance to love them, even if in some cases they were taken from me prematurely.
I currently share my life with a beautiful tom cat and two rescue dogs. I love them, as I love my husband and children, and know that when the day comes to say 'Goodbye' I'll be devastated and will break my heart once more. Report
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For my 12th birthday I received another black lab puppy, one who I had actually been nursing from a bottle after her mother got sick, I didn't know at the time that she was going to be my birthday present. Baby was a doll-we put her to sleep almost 12 years later after diabetes and glaucoma had taken her sight and she didn't have any quality of life. When Baby was 3 we got a Jack Russell Terrier, Missy. Missy had 2 litters of puppies. I have the 2 girls from her second litter, Juliet and Lily (now 13 and half). We put Missy to sleep at 14, she had Cushing's disease and it was the hardest decision to make. She could barely walk, we carried her everywhere. I was in school so I would bring my dogs (her puppies) to my mom's house and stay with Missy all day while I studied, only leaving for class. Missy had to be carried out every few hours to use the bathroom, we'd help her walk and stand/squat to potty. She was very sad but we still saw some of her old self in her eyes, she wasn't ready yet, she still had love to give us. When the spark faded we knew she was ready.
The day was horrible-I told her puppies what was happening, they watched us load her in the car. I drove to the vet's office so my mom and stepdad could both sit and hold her. I held her in the office, we cried and snuggled with her. When it was finally over she looked so at peace, we knew it was the right thing for her. We brought her blanket and collar home to her girls and let them sniff. They would look for her for a couple of weeks but when we brought her ashes home they understood.
Juliet and Lily are the first dogs that are truly MINE! They live with me, we play, they console me and snuggle with me. In fact, they are both asleep on the couch with me right now. Juliet is a healthy girl, acts like she's about 3! Lily was born with congenital cataracts and now has glaucoma (2 eye drops and 1 pill twice a day), arthritis (1 pill once a day) and takes an additional pill for incontinence. Juliet does have sleepovers at "Grandma's" a few nights a week, those started after Missy was gone. Lily has no desire to spend the night away from home unless I'm with her-she's a Momma's girl in every sense of the word. I am terrified of the day I have to say goodbye to them-they are absolutely my children!
I love the story of the rainbow bridge and look forward to seeing Tarbaby, Charcoal, Baby, Missy, Sunshine (our first horse), and all my other beloved pets when the day comes! Report