I am declaring war on a six-word sentence.
You may know by now that I started my weight loss journey on December 28th, 2009 with a goal of losing 60 pounds. I managed to lose 100 and I did it within one calendar year. I lost that weight by fueling my body with the rights foods and working hard-- very hard.
I’d like to share with you a phrase that I’ve heard during my journey: ''Yes, but men lose it easier.'' Although this phrase is only six words long, it can have a much more disastrous effect than it might seem. Have you ever heard these words while on your journey? Have you ever used those words to another person on a weight loss journey?
This phrase can be used as encouragement for some. For others it is used as an accusation, as a means of denial, as a crutch. It is the epitome of the double-edged sword. These words can cut like a knife, no question about it. I am certain that people who have uttered these words either to me or to another individual did NOT mean them in a harmful way. When a man is working hard and doing all things right and is finding success with his journey, why are folks so quick to knock his success with the phrase, ''Yes, but men lose it easier''? It is a complaint really, isn’t it? It isn't usually said in praise. Here is the deal: this phrase is hurtful. It can deflate all the sense of accomplishment that a man feels for the work that he has done. This phrase says that his work doesn’t count, that his struggles don't count. Chances are, that man will not give a complete picture of what he is going through. There is a mental battle that is being fought right alongside the physical one. I’ve said before that the emotions of this journey are sometimes the hardest part. These six words can do a great deal of damage that will require even greater work to overcome.
I have actually said this phrase myself. I have said it to my wife on more than one occasion when she was frustrated with her weekly weigh in. I meant it as a way to say, ''Hey, you are doing great. Don’t judge yourself by my results.'' However, in her moment of frustration and doubt, she heard, ''You aren’t ever going to catch up to me, so quit trying. I have an edge.'' She felt her own emotions were being dismissed. Instead of helping, I was actually compounding her frustration. At the same time, I was discrediting my own success.
Each experience is unique to the person it belongs to.
Whether men really do lose weight easier or not, please support the journey. Support the work that man is doing to change his life. Whether a woman loses weight slower that a man does, support the work she is doing to change her life.
Join me in refusing to utter this phrase any longer.
Have you received support on your journey to losing weight and reclaiming your health regardless of how long it took or the effort that was made to do so?
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