AVIDAN

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I am a man with many psychological issues (though I don't like to ever admit it). I mainly struggle with depression. I use to be in Olympic physical condition (I was even sponsored and was training for USA swim team), But I quit because it wasn't making me happy and I couldn't take the stress. Thats not what brought my body down though because I would still workout and stay in peak physical condition. It wasn't until years later and after a few incidents (which I won't go into details about), That I finally stop taking care of myself and started to show signs of depression. I had felt lost and confused, like I was on a roller coaster going straight to Hell (forgive me if I have offended anyone but I don't know another metaphor to describe my journey accurately). I use to play WOW (World Of Warcraft a computer game for those who don't know) and other games casually, but as a way of couping with everything and I turned it into an obsession. Sometimes I would find myself not even having fun anymore but I didn't know what else to do. I just wanted to ignore all my problems. I was afraid (thats not easy to admit btw), depressed, I felt worthless, and I felt even worse about it all because I knew I could do something but I was choosing not to (I was Purposely punishing myself Why? Well now I don't really know but I would of had answers awhile back for ya). It was so bad that I started to have health problems as a result of sitting in a chair playing all day!

Then one day (while listening to Metal) I started compiling all my problems, I started noticing words like afraid, sad, weak/powerless, unable, "Was this really me?" I asked myself. Thats when something unexpected Started to happen (I should have expected it though lol). Something that hasn't happened to me for a long time! I started to feel this Rage/Anger, And a (Odin like [Norse God]) voice Responded and Said "NOO!..." "This is Not Avidan!" "This is Not Me" "I am Not Sad, Powerless Unable mortal WHO IS GOING TO CONTINUE SITTING IN THIS CHAIR" and before I knew what was happening I found myself standing and shaking with rage (and no BTW this was not another psychological issue it was my voice). I REFUSE to let myself go back into that roller coaster. I WILL NOT SIT BY ANYMORE and watch myself waste away. My will be done! I HAVE DECLARED WAR on anything that dares get in my way! Whether it be food, aches, pains, my job, games or even other people, and once again MY WILL, will be done! May the whole world tremble before it! (I might have lost it a bit but i think its in a healthy way lol)

Since that time, I have been working out on a regular routine and I am feeling a lot better (physically, Mentally, and definitely emotionally). I am nothing like that shadow self I use to be. When I look back on it all I feel silly for letting myself get that far down in the first place lol. I would have not even been able to begin this new road to life until I had fixed/prep myself psychologically.

About myself and my physical goals are concerned, I do need to lose some weight but I am mainly concerned with building muscle/strength. So I know my overall weight is going to bounce back and forth but I'm cool with that as long as I get myself looking great. I am a Total Metal head (I'd like to believe I was born that way lol) and things that I think are awesome I like to refer to as "METAL!" I like anything on Adult Swim, and South Park. I believe that all I can really say about myself lol (I know its a lot i'm sorry)

P.S. I usually link Songs at the end of each of my post. Warning though they are usually Metal! Usually everyone likes these songs though, even non metal heads, just copy and past at your own peril.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIGZbQps9
KM


Member Since: 5/28/2011

Fitness Minutes: 2,320

My Goals:
To look like the Metal god I feel like!


My Program:
Spartacus workout 2-3x a week.
Heavy weights and cardio on non spartucus days.
Walking everyday for 5 miles!
One day off a week!



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Comments
  • v FIXED531
    Hey, how are things going? I saw a new work out on the MensHealth website and thought of you. Have you seen the Immortal work out?
    3020 days ago
  • v no profile image CHUNKY-DUBSTEP
    Thanks for checking in on me. It really helps me stay focus on my routine and fitness goals.

    My girl finally came back from her trip to Oregon. It's been 5 weeks so I'm pretty excited about that.

    I don't log my food anymore either. I've been so busy that I can't spend as much time on SPARK as I would like. But I haven't fallen off or anything. I've actually been getting more muscle and slowly losing more fat.

    Thanks for that song...I haven't heard it. I'd like to incorporate more songs like this in my workouts. Thanks
    3148 days ago
  • v FIXED531
    Hey, I thought I would stop by and say thanks for getting the Spartacus workout out there. Chunky hooked me up and I must say it is an awesome workout.
    3150 days ago
  • v no profile image CHUNKY-DUBSTEP
    Hey what's up AVIDAN

    I just got back form Vegas and just getting back into the SPARK community. I hope all is well with you. Here to help you in any way brother. Just let me know

    3165 days ago
  • v no profile image CHUNKY-DUBSTEP
    Hey AVIDAN,

    I stumbled across your page from the Guy's Lounge and viewed your page.

    I completely agree with all your thoughts about how music can change ones life for the better. Though our personalities make us more inclined to listen to a genre of music more to our preferences we both share our love for music and express it freely.

    Props and respect AVIDAN
    Hope to see your fitness goals become soon reality.
    3188 days ago
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