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Me and my Love...trying to be healthier together this time.

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2007 Halloween total Before pic. I so "see" what I've accomplished in these 2 yrs when I look back

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virtual representation of me at goal weight

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BETHHARRIS is a SparkPeople Motivator!

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Hello! ~UPDATE June 5,2017~ So, where to even start? It's been nine months since my Father passed away, two years since my Mother had a stroke, acute kidney failure & amputation of her right leg. My Love & I now live off-grid in a tiny cabin out behind my parent's house to take care of Mom who is in a wheelchair & homebound. All of these events I have attempted to manage with too much booze, food & cartoon reruns in bed. I just can't anymore. It's not working anymore. So, I find myself back here yet again trying taking better care of me. ~UPDATE May 20, 2014~ As tempting as it is to just delete all these updates when I fall by the wayside in my healthy endeavors and leave a pretty page of perfection that would be fake. So, here goes again. ~UPDATE Dec. 14, 2012~ So, Hubby and I got a Bowflex and have been starting to work out together with it. We are drinking lots of water and taking our vitamin and mineral supplements regularly. Also, we have been attempting to add more raw green veggie juice, raw green veggies, and more minimally processed foods, that takes care of a lot of the junk that used to make up too much of our daily routine! It's not so much a "program" or "diet" but an attempt to take better care of ourselves. ~UPDATE May 5, 2012~ Back home and going back to work tomorrow and now a 37 year old bartender that just got comfy in the size 22 jeans my friend gave me, five weeks of heart healthy diet and exercise for Daddy's recovery from surgery and I even skipped the stage of laying on the bed to fasten the next size of jeans down! Which rocks! Thanks to my friend Joann's success and charitable donation of her "fat jeans" I didn't have to go shopping for new stuff when the last ones started walking off my butt! I just skipped right from a 26 falling off into a comfy 22! YAY! ***Well scratch the "bartender" part in this latest edit to my story. I'm now on a family medical leave of absence staying with my parents after my Dad's double bypass open heart surgery Thurs. It might be awhile before I have anything to focus on but healthy eating, exercise, medications, appointments and all things that follow this amazing/exhausting process as well as my Mom's continued diabetic wound healing and participation in a MMR study on diabetic foot ulcers. Poor Rob, I left on our mountain to fend for himself for a bit. Here goes another shift in focus but one in which I still find myself working my way back into a size 22, down from the weight I gained back in the year or so that I blew off my endeavor to be healthier and healthier in a self-destructive pout. Funny, how the world works sometimes. Here I am having to help out with establishing healthy habits for my family which is something I historically have not been able to maintain for myself *** ~big deep breath~ B 04/04/12 I'm a 36 yr. old bartender from Montana. *****************************************
****** I'm not sure at this point how many times I've edited this little about thing, which is not so little any longer by this time. Yet again, I find myself having taken a head long decent into fits of self-destructive behaviors and going backward instead of maintaining or going forward. This time my feelings of needed to come back to taking care of myself are based upon the fear of ended up with the health troubles my mother is currently enduring. I'm not o.k. with the prospect of that being my future. So, here we go again. Knowing me and that I can "do" anything for extended periods of time until I just can't stand it anymore and have to be "bad" I set out with the determination yesterday, after mom's appointment, with a new book, The Inner Peace Diet by Aileen McCabe-Maucher and Hugo Maucher to work more on my emotional issues along with my diet and exercise. The nutritional aspect of it is healthy and balanced but also includes writing exercises that I figure I might as well share here. Here's to making a life of nurturing myself and those I love. One of these days, I hope it will "click" and I will really just get it but until then I will continue to try when I can as best I can and work at forgiving myself when I can't. Beth 08/05/11 ***********************
**************** So, here I am again, updating my focus. It seems in shifting my world entirely to fuss at the boy and his health, I have, go figure, neglected mine again until I am back up to 245lbs. & my feet started swelling last week for the first time in AGES and I'M NOT O.K. WITH THAT AGAIN!!! Scary to think that I started this whole journey out 103 POUNDS MORE THAN NOW and NOW IS NOT GOOD!!! WOW! So, perhaps more rationally and intelligently, my Love and I are now looking at ways we can be healthier together and take care of BOTH of us instead of taking turns freaking out about our Love's state of health. 05/10/11 Beth ***********************************
********* My focus has shifted GREATLY in the last few months from none and blowing off entirely my tenaciously new found healthy habits and binging ( on everything from food, drink, you name it) and being most one with the couch. Recently after a DR's appointment a couple months ago, my Love, Rob was told that he was more likely to have a heart attack or stroke on any given day than not and would in fact if he didn't manage to make some changes for his health. All my little focuses for my weight loss are for the time being less important to me than helping my Love, and his Dr's get his Type 2 diabetes under control and keeping him around for a long while longer too. The degree of logging and blood glucose monitoring at this point are more than I can do and track for me too. So, until we get closer to the same level of health I am not so worried about the details of my diet and exercise logging as I am his. My blood pressure continues to be within a normal range without medication and I've even lost another 12 pounds! If there's one thing I would offer to anyone just getting here or coming back to work again toward better health it's that there really is no "there". I thought so many times "I've got this now! Woo! Hoo! It's all good from here no worries! Only to find that life in reality has WAY more drama and surprises and excitement and stress!! Also, that every time it's a challenge to find a way make a little healthier choices that are real and work for what has now become your situation and try to make it just a little better from there. Don't give up! That's not an option. Take honest stock of your status but don't let yourself feel down so much that it prevents you from seeing that adjusting your focus and goals to meet that moment of your life. Wishing ya'll well! Peace, Beth 03/07/11 229lbs. *****************************************
*** 10% goals.. 348 - start 1/09/09 314 - goal met 3/15/09 283 - *6/6/09* goal met 6/2/09 255 - *8/8/09* goal met 7/25/09 ***Gained back to here: 240lbs CURRENT***9/18/10 230 - *10/25/09* 207 - *1/9/10* ***Gained back to here: *6/21/10**** 187 - *8/21/10* 169 (?) *10/21/10* *My original goal was 176 which I thought I could get to by *4/26/10* But I went off track and gained some back and didn't lose on the schedule I planned. I am no longer on track for my final goal by anything that looks much like my original time line but took the summer "off" and let a lot slide instead of taking some time to work harder and more intensely on the healing of emotional issues that drive me to eat when I don't need to like I planned. I so may or may not keep going to this last 10%. It wouldn't be an unhealthy weight for me just more than I started out thinking I'd need to go down to to be healthy. I guess I just thought mistakenly still in a "diet" mentality that I didn't even know I was still using that I could "take off" time from being good to myself. So here I am, it's nearly fall, and I am just starting to work again at more than just the numbers in my nutrition tracker or fitness tracker. I need now to find an even healthier me that somehow learns how to comfortably and simply make the best choices for me. Hmmm...I've come so far and how humbling to realize I still have much to do about my head space in relation to my health. So here's me, started back again considering where I went awry and where I maintained new found strength, flexibly and eating habits that I kept without trying this summer. So much to consider, but hey, at least my butterfly tattoos are still up to date now. I'd slacked off on getting the last two almost three because of cash issues. They, my butterflies, still serve me well though. I stopped myself short of giving up when I realized that they were not a loss and still a reflection of what I've accomplished. Here's to more butterflies!!!! *

Member Since: 1/9/2009

Fitness Minutes: 16,141

My Goals:
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.

I promised my Husband I'd outlive him and am left with nothing more to do to try and keep that promise but eat well and exercise. So here I am working at just that. Everything else that follows is just an added bonus.

My Program:
Since January 2009 I've lost 103lbs. I still have a long way to go but I'm not trying to focus on anything beyond always being healthier.

I'm discovering more and more that I have a lot of potentially self-destructive coping mechanisms in my life. I'm working through addressing each one in turn. Primarily, for the purpose of working toward a more healthy me I'm trying to cut out soothing my emotional woes with food. I struggle for balance and moderation in all things while arguing with those parts of me that crave extremes of everything. Some days I do better than others.

Personal Information:
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.

Other Information:
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Read More About BETHHARRIS - Profile Information moved here. (Updated July 25)

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  • v JIBBIE49
    emoticon The Motivator of the Day.

    773 days ago
    emoticon on being selected as the Spark Motivator of the Day! emoticon
    773 days ago
    emoticon Congrats on being Motivator of the Day!
    774 days ago
    Hi long time no see. Welcome to +Bellydancers+
    3126 days ago
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    Hey doll! I just wanted to drop in and let you know it's me Paula, (NYYCHICA) with a new name. I just thought that after being on here for years and the new changes in my life that it's time for a new username. I also got word that for those of you that have subscribed to my daily blogs here may or may not receive them because of the name change, so please go on over to the blog and re-subscribe to them, especially my regular ladies who I love reading your comments on them. So just to be clear there's no more NYYCHICA, but GLAMRIZDIVA now, it does fit me so much more as a whole.

    Also, might as well put in a plug for the Determined Divas team if you'd like to join let me know and I'll send out the invitation to you right away. We're getting ready to kick off our Summer Challenge on the 18th of this month. We're always looking for new divas to join in on our very active team.

    Have a great rest of the week. Be well and stay strong!
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    3296 days ago
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