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Introduction Text Have you ever had one of those days? Or years? Or, how about decades? Yeah, me, too! Time stands still for no one, though, and no matter how hard I try to wish those pounds away...or pretend they're not there...they're still there!!! And, they're going to be until I do something about it. So, for the umpteenth time...I'm gonna climb back on my wagon and start again. Hopefully, this time, the things that I have learned (and re-learned) and the new attitude I am trying to adopt will help me in my quest to get healthy. Nobody can do it but me! I started my weight loss journey in 2009 along with friends from work. We started off really well...by September I had lost a total of 38 pounds...but life got in the way. Stress took over my life in late 2009 in the form of a husband going through the lengthy and trying steps of getting on disability. Then, in May of 2011, total disaster struck when my daughter, Emily, suddenly passed away. I felt my life was over. But you have to go on and be strong for the ones who are still here. I still have my husband, my son and a beautiful granddaughter who needs her MiMi to tell her stories of her loving Mother and keep her memory alive. Sometimes I feel that I can't go on...but God sustains me and helps me continue my journey. There is still that Spark in me that tells me I'm stronger than I think I am. And, I will go on. And, I need to be healthy to continue my journey. So, here I am again. Ready to begin again. Ready to start from square one. One day at a time. Wish me luck! _____________________________________________ My SparkPeople Journey: It has been a long time since I started here on SparkPeople. Wow! How time flies. I have learned so much during this time...let's see if I can put it in to words... 1. I have concluded that even though my weight ticker doesn't show it at this point (because I fell off the wagon and gained back pounds...I could use the excuse of extreme stress during the last part of this year....but gaining is gaining...no matter what the reasons) I have learned alot about how to live a healthy lifestyle. 2. I have learned that the number on my weight ticker is just a number. It does not define me. 3. I am a hundred times more healthy than I was this time last year. I am eating better, healthier foods and cooking at home quite a bit more often rather than going out. 4. I love reading other peoples' Blogs and being motivated. Not only do I learn from other Sparkers about what to do and what NOT to do...I learn that there are people out there just like me...fighting the good fight. Sometimes we win...sometimes not...but we're all out there trying! Giving each other encouragement and cheering each other on. It gives me the drive to carry on knowing I have SparkFriends out there! 5. I have learned that I cannot be trusted around cookies, cakes, pies or donuts. They fly into my mouth at breakneck speed. So, therefore, there are none of those things in my house. Even the potato chips and sodas were sent packing. If I get the munchies...Jello Fat-Free Chocolate Pudding! 60 calories when made with Skim milk! 6. I need to learn how to handle stress. Instead of eating like there is no tomorrow, I need to channel my emotions to more productive things...like cleaning out a closet or giving the dogs a bath or.....anything but eating! This is another thing I will work on this year. 7. I can forgive myself and start over. Everybody falls down at some point. As long as I get up more than I fall down I will have won. 2009: The beginning of my SparkPeople journey: Hello! My name is Deborah and I have decided it's time for me...time for me to think about myself for a change...time for me to get healthy...time for me to lose that 100 pounds I've put on over the last 31 years. My whole life I have been a nurturer. I nurture my family...I nurture my friends...I nurture everyone but myself. I have put myself last in every aspect of my life. The children came first...my husband came first...I would volunteer for projects at every turn...Jaycees...UGF...CAC...canned food drives...Christmas for underpriviledged children...visiting the elderly in the nursing homes...lending an ear to a friend in need. You name it...I was there. And now, it shows. It shows in my weight. It shows in my health. It shows in my face. Now, I have finally decided it's time for me. I deserve it. I need it. I want it. I'M DOING IT!!!

My goals are to get healthy and stay healthy. Losing weight is a bonus that comes along with my lifestyle change. I don't want to get back down to what I was in High School (dreaming!), but 150 is a more realistic goal. I know I must take baby steps (ten pounds at a time) because looking at the "big picture" would scare the heck out of even the most determined individual.

I want to concentrate on logging all my food. I need to move more...actually, I just need to move! I have become a couch potato. Drastically reduce fast food and carbonated beverage intake!

My name is Deborah and I live in Alabama. I have been married for 42 years to a really great guy and have two wonderful children, Emily and David, and a beautiful granddaughter, Bailey Jane. I enjoy walking, sitting on the Boardwalk and watching the waves crash on the shore, going to movies and kicking back and reading a good book. But, most of all, I enjoy spending time with Bailey. Talk about a good night's sleep after running with a 12-year old all day!

Life is what you make it. I've had ALOT of pain in my life in the last few years. It could have done me in as well. But, it didn't. I'm still standing. I'm one tough old broad!!!

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