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Introduction Text I'm Kat, and for 3 years I have been so overweight I don't even like to leave the house anymore. To be honest, I have always had a hard time with my weight. I didn't have a positive role model in terms of how to be healthy and promotion of my self confidence. Even when I did look great, I didn't see it. Now I'm at the point where I know what it really is to be overweight and I realize that I took myself for granted. I have suffered the onset of Bipolar type 2 and Social Anxiety Disorder, and I think my weight is having a very negative impact on my treatment process. I really just want to be comfortable in my own skin again. Actually scratch that.. I never have felt comfortable in my own skin. I guess I'll settle for not hating being in my skin then :P I'm sure if anyone actually reads this, they're going to think I'm shallow because I am so focused on how 'pretty/gorgeous' I can look or wish I looked. I assure you though it isn't the case. I am happy with my personality, and apart from being ridiculously shy and wanting to hide from people so they don't judge my weight, there isn't much I would change about myself other than my appearance. 'Back in the day' I used to notice people checking me out, and as sad as it is, that was a major source of self esteem for me. Now, there's nothing. My self confidence has always been in ruins as a result of an abusive mother, but at least I always had the roving eyes of strange men to comfort me lol I really would like to not want that attention back as badly as I do. It would just be so great if looking at myself in the mirror made me feel POSITIVE. Or, it would be great if I could walk past a full length mirror without my entire day being ruined by the flaws that jump out at me. My fiance is amazing. He's everything I ever wanted in a man, minus the prince part. I know he loves me no matter what, and he thinks I'm beautiful even though I'm almost 100lbs more than I was when we met.. and that's great. Really it is. BUT.. it just isn't enough, you know? I know HE thinks I'm gorgeous, but it would be great if I felt it too. I feel like if I didn't hate my appearance so much, I would enjoy being outside.. hence, I would take my kids outside more. Instead I dread having to go out.. and need to spend a ridiculous amount of time finding the right outfit to hide myself from the world. It really is time consuming, never mind such a drain emotionally. In the end, if I put everything I want and make it into one major thing.. what I want most is to FEEL fantastic about myself by the time I turn 30. I'm going to be 28 on October 12th 2011.. so I better get crackin'!

1. Go into a bridal shop without the sales ladies telling me the dresses won't fit.. without me even asking to try them on. 2. I want 'Sparta' to no longer be able to hold my size over me. 3. To look gorgeous at my wedding, and be able to feel it! 9/13/2011 - 245lbs 9/20/2011 - 237lbs 9/26/2011 - 10/3/2011 - 10/10/2011 - 10/17/2011 -

Right now I'm starting out small.. trying to change my eating habits by paying closer attention to what I'm taking in. I'm also going to the gym and I am committed to keeping up with that to help me remain toned.





Add a Link No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
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