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Flaming June

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Juliana and I Robert Frost Trail 3/09

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Will and I, April 1, 2009

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I am the queen of false starts and I will be the queen until I finally make it. (Maybe then I will start to call myself The Empress).

I have not been honest for the majority of my life. I am not going to be too hard on myself about it, because I did not fully understand that I was dishonest. You see, almost from day one, or at least as long as I can remember, I've tried to do it right. I've tried to be correct instead of just doing it the way I'm meant to do it. "It" being live. I've been living the expectations of others. Not just anyone but the people that love me. I have believed that they know what is best for me andI have been very wrong. I realized, just this evening, that I need to piss some people off and then get on with the business of living.

What I understand fully now is that I am fat because I am not being me. I know that as certainly today as I know I'm breathing. I did not know it yesterday. I am going forward with the idea that when I am standing in the kitchen eating something that I should not be eating it is because I have not said what needs to be said OR I am censoring myself in some way. I am 37. This is midlife and I would prefer to feel like I lived fully when I keel over, or when I'm being rolled around the nursing home in a half conscious state.

So, here is my pledge;

I promise to speak my mind in situations where it may not be popular. I will speak it not for reaction but for the opportunity to present myself honestly to the world...for myself and MY greater happiness.

I promise to stop eating when I should not be (in between meals, extras) and consider what I am subduing (sp??)

I promise to give myself a ton of credit for every positive decision...and I mean tons of credit, lavished upon me, like silk on a princess.

I promise to be the best mom I can and stop beating the hell out of myself for being less than perfect. I know it is not perfection but love and humility that builds good people. I KNOW THAT!!


Member Since: 5/10/2007

Fitness Minutes: 1,191

My Goals:
March 31 220
April 30 219
May 31 215
June 30 205

My Program:
South Beach Phase II
Exercise 30 minutes, 4X week

Personal Information:
Look younger and healthier
Be able to wear more stylish clothes
Be able to shop more places for clothes
Be able to find cool second hand stuff, pay little, look great!
Be healthier
Feel Better
Have more energy
Be with my friends!

Other Information:
Favorite Book EVER!
Eat, Pray, Love
Elizabeth Gilbert

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  • v SPARKLE2011
    Hi There~

    Haven't seen you on the threads lately. Hope everything is going well for you.

    Just wanted to stop by and wish you and yours a Happy New Year!!!

    4492 days ago
    Thanks for the comment. Hey, you can talk to me about exercise any time you want. I have a hard time with it too. I do fine for 2 or 3 weeks and then just stop... Hopefully we can get that going for us! :-)
    4530 days ago
    Hi! I could relate to so much of what you said about how you're not (you haven't been) being YOU. I sooo get that. I was also thinking of my Spark Pal Debi and how great she has done, when I came here to put a comment on your page and whaddya know?? She commented right before I did! :-) I looked at your pictures- you are very pretty and your kids are adorable! :-) I'm trying to start over here too after slacking for a few months. Good luck to you! :-)
    4531 days ago
  • v S318830
    Hi! I got your e-mail. Your page made me smile. I kow what you mean about being the queen of false starts. I don't know how many of those I made over the past 4.5 years. What finally worked for me was prioritizing my workouts. They were usually what got dropped when I ran out of time.

    Good luck! I'll be checking on you to see how you're doing.
    4532 days ago
  • v SPARKLE2011
    Hi There~

    Just stoppin' by to see how you are doing. Haven't seen you around in a while, so I hope all is well.

    Have a great weekend.

    4609 days ago
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