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This is my third time working SparkPeople. I've been fairly successful each time, losing up to 40lbs every round. Unfortunately I have regained the weight each time. If I had kept the weight off each time I would have lost over 100lbs. That fact makes me angry at myself.

I have Bipolar II Disorder. The highs are controlled with medication, but I still suffer from long bouts of depression (even with medication). It's during the depressions that I've left SparkPeople and gained back the weight.

I also have CKD (chronic kidney disease)...I'm a hair away from stage 4. I'm trying to break some bad food habits to prolong the necessity of dialysis or a kidney transplant. Unfortunately old habits die hard and the reality of dialysis hasn't yet forced me in to better eating habits consistently. There is a lot to learn about food intake and CKD. It's a daily battle for me.

I've joined a gym and use the treadmill for my exercise along with walking my dog. I'm hopeful the exercise will be a helpful tool during the next depression and help me keep the weight off.

Thank you to all who have joined my journey. Your support is invaluable as I stumble through this life and attempt to find balance. I can't let bipolar win any longer.

Member Since: 4/6/2016

Fitness Minutes: 34,187

My Goals:
My first goal is to lose 37 pounds. My second goal is to increase the loss to 67 pounds. I also want to blog regularly as it's a good outlet for me to express myself, and I enjoy going back to read through my progress.

My Program:

Personal Information:
I spent 16 long years at a desk building an online business that I run from home. My business pretty much runs itself now and I'm afforded the luxury of working as much or as little as I want. I've decided to make health (mental and physical) my priority and think of it as a full time job, so I work very little. I have 3 sons, 2 who are in university and live away from home for most of the year. My third leaves in Sept 2020. It's been hard to adjust to the loss of children and activity in the house...I feel very lonely most days.

Other Information:

Read More About JEMADE - Profile Information moved here. (Updated September 17)

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 Pounds lost: 31.6 
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    Thanks for your comments on my blog. I am just glad that what I said resonated with someone. I write for myself, but it feels good when another person finds value in my words.
    2 days ago
  • v WILDKAT781
    thanks for your kindness and support on my Why blog. you have good suggestions. I may try giving the sweets to mother in law but I've got an idea that wouldn't work out too well. No other family to give to
    60 days ago
  • v WILDKAT781
    thank you so much for posting on my blog, I don't know if it was an allergic reaction or "side effects" but whichever it really sucked! hope you are doing well
    73 days ago
    Hi you! Thanks you for commenting on my blog. I'm realizing now that I was in denial for years! I've wasted years by feeling this way.

    Hope you have a wonderful day.
    503 days ago
  • v INACAR
    Thank you for visiting my page. I hope the voices quieten for you too. It takes replacing the negative with positives, sometimes it takes time to retrain what we tell our selves. Take care, we can have a better life, we deserve it.
    513 days ago
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