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I am 38 years old. I have been on this weight loss journey since April of 2012. At that time I was at my highest weight, which was 246 pounds. I was so ashamed for letting myself go and gain so much weight. I was never a big person growing up. My weight gain has caused me to avoid people and going out. I just feel so embarrassed and I don't want people to see what I have become. Especially family and people I have not seen in a while. All of this has caused me to become depressed. I hate myself and that is so sad to me. I want to love myself again and not be ashamed of what I look like. From the moment I saw 246 show up on the scale I decided I was not going to go on like that anymore. I started counting calories using MyFitnessPal, I started drinking a lot of water, and just watching what I ate. From April 2012 to July 2013 I lost 60 pounds. I was starting to feel good about myself again, but that didn't last long. I found out that July that my husband and I were expecting. We were thrilled and I was so happy. But, then that August we ended up miscarrying. That destroyed me and I went back into a depression. Then in March of this year we lost our Boxer, Bella to cancer. Then in July of this year, we lost her dad to cancer. We still have her mom and we also have another Boxer puppy. I have had a lot of losses and devastating things happen since August of last year. So from August of 2013 to present time, which is December, I have gained back 32 of that 60 pounds. I am so angry with myself for letting it get this far again. I have lost my motivation and will power and I need to get it back. That is why I am here. I know that there are so many other people who go through the ups and downs of losing weight and I think having those people on this website to go through it with and talk to when things get hard will really help me. I have total faith that I will reach my goal weight.

Member Since: 3/30/2012

Fitness Minutes: 2,944

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 current weight: 174.0 
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