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Update February, 2014

WOW! When I first started Sparkpeople in 2012 I thought I'd never be saying the words "Starting Over"!!! I looked at that as such a negative thing, but I'm trying to forgive myself for losing my way and trying to look at the words "starting over" in a different light.

Starting Over is a whole lot better than Giving Up!

Update June, 2013

Almost a whole year has passed since joining Sparkpeople and it has been a tumultuous one! Like a bad rollercoaster, I have had my ups and downs...unfortunately, I am right back to the point I started. Feeling bad all the time, no exercising whatsoever, out of control eating and blood sugars! Very disappointed in myself to say the least, but like the sunflower in my sparkpage background, I am determined to turn my face toward the SUN and push on! Yes, I am sure that there will be rain showers along the way, but I will persevere!!!

Update February, 2013

Sometimes you just have to know when to walk away. After careful thought, I decided to "quit" the current BLC round. Lots of thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head about that experience. Suffice it to say, it just wasn't working for me. It was a group of very determined women...it's not that I'm not determined too, I just choose to go about this journey in a much slower, more self-forgiving pace.

That being said, I begin today...trying "to get my spark back".

Update January, 2013...
WOW! What a journey so far!!! I was rolling along nicely and had lost about 30 pounds...clothes were getting very loose and I even had to buy some new smaller sizes! Life was a beach!

Then, a Nor'easter blew ashore at the end of summer and it's been kind of messy ever since! August 31st was the one year anniversary of my Dad's passing and my Mom's subsequent unexpected illness which led to her passing near the end November...losing both my parents within 14 weeks of each other definitely rocked my world. At the one year mark, I found I was just as, if not MORE emotional than I was a year ago.

Being a lifelong EMOTIONAL eater, I turned to food. That combined with the Holidays led to putting back on some of the weight I had lost. I feel as if I have to begin again...I can't look back, only forward. Just like with any storm, the skies will clear and it will be sunny again!

I am about to begin my second round of BLC (Biggest Loser Challenge Round 21), and I am happy to be a member of Steely Sapphire Soldiers! Let's see where this installment of my journey takes me!

Update August, 2012...
After 40 years, I've decided that I'm DONE!!!

DONE feeling bad all the time...
DONE looking for the largest size in everything...
DONE letting fat and lack of fitness run my life...
DONE fearing what the future will hold for me if I don't get things under control!!!

Since joining Sparkpeople about six weeks ago, my life has changed so much! This might seem silly to some since I've lost only 10 pounds so far...this just proves that I'm DONE letting the scale determine how I feel!!!

In this short time, I've learned that this journey begins with a mental shift! Over time, the scale will show what I already know...I'm DONE being the fat girl!!!

Member Since: 6/26/2012

Fitness Minutes: 10,609

My Goals:
1. Feel better...reduce and/or eliminate blood pressure and diabetes medication.

2. Enjoy life more fully by becoming physically fit.

3. Make it to ONEderland by my 50th birthday! (Mar 3rd)

4. Encourage others with my successes.

My Program:
1. Staying within my daily nutrition guidelines.

2. Following the weekly exercise goals for the 8 week diabetes challenge.

3. Participating in SparkTeams, Blogs, etc. every day.

3. Trying new kinds of foods that are better for me without developing the mindset that I have to give up everything...moderation is the key!

4. Remembering that I'm not going to be "perfect" everyday! By doing the best I can everyday, and remembering to forgive myself when I fall short...believing that holding on to the past will keep me from living a full future.

Personal Information:

Other Information:
I love reading, Wii activities, scrapbooking, photography & watching all kinds of movies.

My Medium Range goals (every 25 pounds):

220 lb ~ FUN day trip to Disney & new Disney t-shirt

195 lb - DISNEY weekend getaway!

170 lb - Mini vacation to destination of choice


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 current weight: 228.2