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Introduction Text Hello everyone out there! My actually name is Aisha and I live in southern Minnesota. I have lived here for most of my life and sometimes think about moving, but don't want to be away from my family. So, I don't think I am going to be going anywhere for a while. I have been on my weight loss journey for almost as long as I can remember. I remember going to Weight Watchers when I was 16. It was only $5 a meeting back then, which was easy enough for me to pay with my babysitting money. I didn't get anything out of it, so I didn't go for very long. I tried many diets off and on over the years and nothing really worked or work for very long. I got to my highest weight in 2014. I was having problems walking. My back actually felt like it was breaking, every time I took a step. I would break out in a sweat just walking up the 12 steps to my apartment. I would have to rest when I got to the landing between the two floors at 6 steps. I actually cried, when my bag of groceries broke and I didn't have a bag to carry them upstairs with me. No one would help me either. You know the old saying, "You did it to yourself." My breathing was loud and extremely audible. I was on CPAP and my asthma was out of control in the winter. I sometimes felt like I was choking when I was sleeping and that would wake me up and make me start pacing until I got exhausted and tried to sleep again. My diet consisted of TV dinners, box dinners, frozen pizza and anything else that was quick, easy and completely unhealthy. I didn't know how to cook and didn't even try to learn. I would cook my food in the microwave, and jump back in bed. All of my meals were in bed, watching TV. Sometimes, I read when I was awake, but I wasn't awake very often. I wasn't awake very often, as far as I can remember. I wasn't able to drive because my thighs were in the way of turning the steering wheel and I wasn't able to turn the wheel easily. Basically, I got sick and tired, of being sick and tired. In January 2015, I had a gastric bypass. It was wonderful! For the first time in my life, I actually lost weight and felt great! I was able to walk without pain. I got off my diabetes medication. They were able to take away some of my other medications. They were able to lower the pressure on my CPAP machine. I had to go shopping for new clothes, because nothing I had fit anymore. I felt that life was good and worth living! By that fall, I had already started gaining back some of that weight that I lost. I felt defeated and like there was no reason for anything. That I was meant to be fat and miserable for life. I felt horrible! In January 2017, I went to my first meeting of TOPS, and joined immediately. They weren't a "magic bullet" or anything of that sort, but just a group of people going through the same trial and were there to support each other. The first year was really rough! I didn't really feel like anything had changed in my life, and didn't go to the meetings very often. Needless to say, I gained weight instead of lost it. In my 2nd year, I got serious! I pulled up my sleeves and decided to actually do something to actively lose weight, instead of thinking it would fall off, without any help. Trying to control my eating wasn't doing the trick at all. The weight agreed with me and started to fall off in leaps and bounds! I went to a meeting that all the TOPS members in Minnesota could attend where they crowned the king and queen of weight loss in Minnesota and they were both from my chapter and dear friends of mine! That was very exciting! I was in the before-and-after parade, where you go across the stage behind your biggest clothes and then reveal your smaller body when they announce your new weight. It was really cool to see the video on my friend's phone. It actually made me feel smaller for once. When you are the one losing weight, sometimes you don't acknowledge it or believe it, but when you see it like that, it is something you have to admit to yourself. I am still in TOPS and losing weight. I hope to one day, possibly be named queen of Minnesota. What a beautiful dream, that actually has a chance of being a possibility. I am also going to therapy for my eating problem. That is a real eye opener! It is making me realize how much childhood problems and the way you grow up effects you when you grow up, even though you might not think it does anything to you. The future is looking much brighter again.

I know I need to chart everything I put in my mouth. I need to make myself accountable to myself by always knowing what I put in my body. I also need to exercise more regularly. I walk with my dogs and sometimes with my bff or my mom and her dog, but not on a consistent basis. Need to make in a necessary part of my life. I also need to add strength training at least once a week and build on that.

I need to control my carbohydrate and fat intake. I eat enough protein everyday easily, and most days I get enough fiber. I eat a protein bar with fiber and I also eat fiber one cereal.

I live in southern Minnesota. I love Spring and Fall. Don't really care for Winter, which lasts about 6 months around here. I am loved by my 2 dogs, Graysen and Gizmo, as well, as my Mother and Step-father. They live in a town about 10 minutes away from the town I live in. My sister and father live in a town about 30 minutes away from where I live, but we really don't have much of a relationship. I wish that was different.

I like to go shopping most of all. This has gotten me into trouble in the past, so I try to curtail it as much as possible, which is difficult. I also like to read. Most of my reading is self-help books, diet and cooking books. I can't cook very well, but I enjoy reading recipes and thinking about how they might taste. I share the ones I like with my Mom. She sometimes thinks the same, makes them and we share the meal. Most of the time, it is very good. My Mom is a wonderful cook!

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