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Dealing with De...

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I really don't like being overweight because it is not natural. I feel like I am abusing what I've been given... we did not evolve having access to the quantity of, and types of, foods that we do today, and I want to live in greater respect of my own nature.

Beyond the philosophical, I really want to wear whatever I want and feel comfortable and confident! Every single day I choose to put on clothes that DON'T reflect my personality, because I am too big to look cute in those that do. I am sick of not showing who I am.

Another reason I want to lose is that I think I look, and definitely FEEL younger when I'm thinner... I want to feel like I can get out and do anything because I'm fit; I want to take advantage of being young (I'm 36).

If there's a sudden trip to the mountains, or to the marsh, I want to be able to go and hike and not fall behind.

I am so excited because I recently (Sum 2012) bought a treadmill used off Craigslist, and my goal is to use it 6 days a week for 30-45min. So far, so good. We'll see how my feet hold up...

I have friends who have started running, marathons even... but I don't think I can do that. I tried Couch to 5k a few months ago, but had surgery and couldn't run for a couple weeks, so I just quit.

I'm trying again with working up to a 5k and am just trying to stay encouraged... it took a lot to work myself up to being willing to jump on this train again.

A year ago my then-fiance bought a sportscar, shaved his head, started acting like a real pompous ass and then left me for a cheerleader/stripper. We had just bought a house together.

My dreams of having a family and a home were trashed. I waited all these years and resisted ever getting pregnant because I wanted it to be with the right partner, the best partner, and I thought that's what I had finally found.

So, it has been really hard for me to be motivated to do ANYthing this last year. I don't really see the point... I feel like I work so hard but have nothing to show for it. But, I guess I have nothing better to do...


I have understood since I was a teenager about the proper things to eat and how much exercise to get... I read Fit or Fat when I was 15 and transformed myself from a little chubby to extremely fit at a 114 lbs.

I have been a vegetarian since I was 10, but there are plenty of fattening things that are vegetarian (jalapeno poppers, anyone?)!

I have gone up and down and up and down... you see I struggle with major depression and lose the will for -anything- for long periods of time.

When I find it again, I wonder, 'how did I let myself get like that? Why was I ok with that?' only to do it again after a few months or years. As part of my depression I drink too much, which REALLY doesn't help with the weight.

So, at 36 I do not want to be facing 40 alone and blubbery and with an unfit heart.

I want to feel free.

Member Since: 7/24/2012

Fitness Minutes: 3,852

My Goals:
~Lose 20 lbs to be around 130 (I am not quite 5'4")
~Work up to jogging for 30 minutes without walking by the end of 2012
~Improve intake of calcium and iron
~fit into my cute clothes!!

Starting 8/15/12:

Jog 3 miles in 40 minutes -- DONE 8/17/12! 39:54

Jog 3 miles in 39 minutes -- Blew past it!
Jog 3 miles in 38 minutes -- Blew past it!
Jog 3 miles in 37 minutes -- I DID IT! 8/19/12 36:58

I've decided to do 2 miles 5 times a week instead. Including a 3 minute walking warm up I finish 2 miles in 24 minutes.

New goals:

2 miles in 23 minutes
2 miles in 22 minutes
2 miles in 21 minutes

1 mile in 10 minutes

My Program:
~Track food and workouts here.
~Don't drink as much.
~Use my treadmill!! a half hour, 5 days a week
~Walk/jog the dog more when the weather cools
~Ride my bike

Personal Information:
Single, no kids, from New Orleans, LA

Being left by my fiance for a cheerleader/stripper dealt a major blow to my self-esteem this last year, and currently loneliness is a big, crummy part of my life.

I'm trying to get up and make changes in my behavior to hopefully reap changes in my life as a whole.

Other Information:
I love festivals, camping, music, dogs, antiques and geology.

Read More About PRIMATEP - Profile Information moved here. (Updated August 6)

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  • v SHRINK_U
    I hope things are going well for you! Have a great weekend :)
    2698 days ago
  • v SHIRE33
    Thanks for your comment. It took me a long time to get to the point of running 10-minute miles, and even now I don't always run at that pace. One thing that helps is listening to music or my Jeff Galloway Easy 10K app by lolo. It sets a pace that I can stick to without having to think about it. What I like to think about is my progress, how strong I feel, how I'm going to look at goal weight, but also try to enjoy how I look now, with the progress I've had so far. I think that if you put off enjoying progress until goal that you miss a lot of fun along the way. : )
    2715 days ago
  • v SHRINK_U
    Thanks for stopping by my deficit blog :)
    2715 days ago
  • v SHIRE33
    Thanks for the blog comment. : ) I do think it's perfectly appropriate to set a goal to run 3 days a week and be satisfied and PROUD of it! I just thought about my real goal: to lose weight and maintain it. I like running. So I want to be able to do it as long as possible. For me, at 50, that means 3 days a week, for one hour. I keep shooting for consistent 10-minute miles just for something fun to aim at. But I don't care how long it takes me to get there.

    Sometimes I also shake things up by doing intervals or a long run that goes beyond one hour. When I do that, I usually walk one minute every mile. But day in, day out, mostly it's a one-hour run.

    I just don't want to burn myself out, mentally or physically, by getting all goal happy about longer and longer runs. This is enough. And it's good.

    So be proud of what you're doing. You're listening to your body and making your program work for you. : )
    2716 days ago
    Thanks for reading my blog! I have to say DAY 1, a$$ kicked!
    2716 days ago
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