RAZBERIANGEL

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July 2008



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Me and my family Sept 5, 2010



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Me and my grand daughter, Emily July 18, 2010


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Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
~ Charles Dickens

Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.
~Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerard Renaldi, Prince of Genovia - "The Princess Diaries"


I AM DONE!!
I AM DONE being afraid to enjoy myself because of my weight
I AM DONE feeling sorry for myself
I AM DONE with all the excuses and whining
I AM DONE not being the sexy woman I know is in here
I AM DONE making choices that hurt my body
I AM DONE using food like a drug or a celebration
I AM DONE hating what I see looking back at me in the mirror!
I AM DONE hating to be in pictures or home videos
I AM DONE caring what other people think
I AM DONE comparing/judging myself and others
I AM DONE being afraid of the excess skin that will be left behind in the end
I AM DONE looking to for approval
I AM DONE not being able to shop in 'normal' stores for the 'cute' clothes
I AM DONE wondering if I will break a chair when I sit in it
I AM DONE with knee pain and other achy parts
I AM DONE having diabetes
I AM DONE sitting around instead of doing SOMETHING
I AM DONE thinking that I'll never eat again
I AM DONE BEING THE FAT GIRL!!

How I got to where I am...
I was never a 'skinny' child.
In high school I was constantly teased and harassed by the other kids because of my weight. Even when I tried to join different teams (cheer-leading, gymnastics) I was literally laughed out of the group by my peers. I would have loved to be in jazz dance or gymnastics or some other group but after years of torture I decided to cut my losses, protect my heart and stop trying. I had my close circle of friends who didn't care about my weight. Btw, I was 5'6" and was a Jr 15! That made me approx 25lbs overweight!
At 18yrs I met my (now ex) husband. We were married when I was 19, he was 20 and moved away from family and friends. When we moved, I found a job working in a water park as a slide attendant. This required lots of stair climbing and I ended up losing all of my extra weight in the process. I looked HOT!! I had been saving a pair of red pants for the occasion and they looked FABULOUS on me!! Of course we didn't have a camera back then so no pictures :( I remember the day I realized I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. It was a beautiful June day and my first thought, after the elation, was 'I am NEVER going to look like this again! Not quite sure where this thought came from but it has stuck with me through the years....my oldest is 25...
After 6yrs, 2 kids and a divorce I was broken but not beaten. I went back to school with the determination to succeed.
I was doing really good into my first year at University when I met a wonderful man who seemed to be what I was looking for. Problem was he had more issues that I did!! That breakup was AWFUL!!! It took what self-esteem I had left and flushed it. I gained weight and kept on going. I had hit an all time low, depression kicked in big time and I went on autopilot for many years. I am still struggling with some of the depression, some areas still haunt me to this day. It's a re-learning process for sure!
A few years ago I finally met the man I am supposed to be with!! He is AMAZING!! He doesn't care about my size. He encourages/nudges me to be the best I can. Supports me in my efforts to achieve and DOESN'T nag me when I make a poor choice. He likes to point out ALL the benefits of me losing weight! He's truly a gem!
It's time to put the past in the past and look forward to the future. We are grandparents now and both of us want to be around for her, as well as any others that come along, for many many years.


Member Since: 1/17/2011

Fitness Minutes: 1,050

My Goals:
~lose 115lbs by July 5, 2013
~workout at Curves 3X per wk
~walk outside or at the walking track 2-3X per wk
~start riding horses again
~become better balanced throughout all areas of my life
~learn a martial art
~learn ASL
~travel


My Program:
I (try to) attend Curves 3X per week and once the weather is better my husband and I will be walking and riding our bikes!
I am a 'fair weather' swimmer...I LOVE to swim but I hate being cold and wet afterwards!



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Other Information:
~"Let men tremble to win the hand of a woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart"
(Hester Prynne - "The Scarlet Letter)

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.




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Comments
  • v JIBBIE49
    emoticon Happy BELATED Birthday, DONE GIRL emoticon

    The Cancer girl can be the "LITTLE RED HEN" and do all the work as she has perseverance, but she needs to learn to delegate her work to others. She can get very angry when she does it all and they benefit. She gets along with Scorpio (who must control any relationship he is in but Cancer just lets him THINK he does with her, and with Pisces the Dreamer as she can make dreams come true, Virgo, Capricorn, and Leo the Lion, as she can make him the KING and be his supportive Queen.

    Sun in Cancer: You live though your emotions and feelings and can't be reasoned with when you're upset. It's hard for you to separate your feelings from your thoughts. You're mothering, sustaining and nurturing, with a strong attachment to your mother and your home. You have a highly developed protective and defensive instinct about material and domestic security. You feel complete when you're able to lavish protectiveness on your family and you'll do whatever is necessary to establish and maintain that security. You tend to retreat inside yourself when you feel threatened in any way. You're often at the mercy of your moods, which are subject to change due to the atmosphere around you, which you absorb without realizing it. You need to control the tendency to moodiness, intolerance and excessive emotions. You suffer from emotional insecurity until you center yourself beyond your ego/ personality. Everything you do is latent and hidden: no issue is clear or direct, not action is forthright or direct. You are extremely intuitive and psychic and your first instincts are usually right. You're extraordinarily sensitive and fear ridicule. When you're hurt, you may behave in a nonsensical manner and, at times, you can be extremely childish and stubborn. You seek sympathy from others and don't realize how self-centered and selfish you can be. You appear gentle and tranquil, but your inner thoughts are difficult to understand, even for you. You're well intentioned, but emotionally vacillating. You have a deep sense of responsibility to others. Physically, slow energy flow can make you lazy and you'll have poor circulation later in life. Due to your powerful imagination, all thoughts of illness may manifest as illness. You'll suffer from ulcers and digestive problems if you don't discuss things that worry you. You must be first with those you love or you're unhappy, and you keep a tenacious hold on loved ones. You're concerned about what others think of you and can have a great deal of personal vanity about your appearance. You can be quite egotistical and won't joke about yourself. You're neat and clean and dislike any activity that creates a mess. You seek to avoid any type of discomfort at all costs. You're diplomatic, have an excellent memory and love to roam. You seldom fail to achieve your goals even if you have to be manipulative. At times, you may shun responsibility but can be punctual, exact, and efficient as required. You're a master of passive resistance and hate being told what to do or how to do it. You tend to live in "the good old days." As a parent, you're warm and loving, but can be smothering and refuse to let your child grow up. Your effort to keep your family together may actually drive them apart. As a child, you're tender, sweet, loving, helpful, extremely affectionate and easily hurt. It's better to discipline a Cancer child by appealing to the home-loving instinct. Sensationalism can hurt your sex life. You need to add reason and discrimination to your life and cultivate courage to say "Yes" and "No" at appropriate times.
    KEYWORDS: protectively, sensitively, emotionally
    KEY PHRASE: I feel.
    3193 days ago
  • v _BACK2BASICS_
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    Belated Wishes for a very Happy Birthday.
    Hope the celebration was "DONE" just right!
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    3195 days ago
  • v CHANGINGSAM
    Happy belated birthday! Also, congrats on your weight loss, and good luck with your July goals! Hope you have a lovely day! emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • v TURTLE69
    Happy Belated Birthday Done Girl! emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • v NIXY72
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    Happy Belated Birthday! May this year be the year that all of your wildest dreams come true!

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    3202 days ago
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