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Unwelcomed stress

Sunday, April 13, 2008

So my life is being weird, yet again. I have remained on track eating wise, but my activity has slacked.. I've been very down lately. My (I use this term loosely) boyfriend Zac has been really hurting my feelings lately and has not been very supportive of anything. We fight about little things (and one big thing; our future) I guess he thinks all good things come to him regardless of his effort... Because of this I sleep few hours, usually when he isn't around because I like to sleep in my bed. I feel like an old married couple (only been dating 4 years now) but lord, its getting crazy... On top of that he isn't giving me much support or encouragement with my weight loss journey. I really feel ready this time, but I do not think he really believes in me... I think he thinks I will be begging for my taco bell any second now, drooling over the meal I would normally overcrowd my stomach and arteries with... Well, not this time, NO not this chinchilla!! My body has growled in distain the last times I ate that cursed food.. No more... But he too is facing the choice, begin the journey I am on or stay his course and gain even more weight... I want him to join sparks, i've ranted raved and been overjoyed about sp... but his interest is not there... He doesn't care... I wish I knew why... what is more difficult he will bring trigger foods into our home...cookies..mac and cheese... Mac and cheese is my down fall (and I sigh deeply) I am trying to cook healthier for both of us, lowering the amount we eat (instead of two chicken cutlets, I now cook one we share and a LOT of veggies)... But then I see in the back of his car the evidence of his time spent at fast food places... I want to help him but I dont want to sound like his mother... I am so overwhelmed, and it is becoming depressing...sometimes I just do not know what to do...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My hubby is funny. when I go on a diet, he used to bring me candy and everything, hoping, I think, that I would fail. Now he is more supportive and hopes I make it. We are older now and I think he is more stable about our relationship and realizes that I would not leave him even if I did lose weight. We have been married for going on 38 years. Some men just lack self confidence and don't like change. You have to do this for yourself and if he really wants to do it, he will. You can't make him do it unless he wants it. Just like you, you are the only one who can do it. good luck on your journey. Pam
    4441 days ago
  • NICA717
    I think the best way to show someone how great SP is is to simply let them see the results you achieve by staying with your plan. You go girl!!!
    4543 days ago
    It can be so hard when the very people we love are not taking care of themselves while we are trying so hard - in addition to that if they work at derailing us (whether they are aware of it or not) it makes for a super challenge at a time we are still taking baby steps.

    My husband needs to loose weight...and he's done a great job doing that over the last year, but he has lost his focus. I've told him all about SP and how valuable I really think it is...he hasn't chosen to look into it at all.

    I've had to make the decision to continue to support him in his battles, but to focus on mine also. I am not his caregiver...I can't force him to be healthier. I wish that for him, and I'll give him the tools that I've found, but unless HE makes that decision, the tools will be worthless.

    I've also learned (just yesterday by the way) that actions DO speak louder than words. He is really surprised I think that I'm sticking to this and am so dedicated to it. He started making some very positive comments and asking questions...so I think that is a good sign.

    I hope that you will be able to focus on you and your life, while still loving and caring for your boyfriend...step back though and know that he won't change just because you think he should!

    4543 days ago
    Hi! Hang in there, your boyfriend will come around. He might be stressing that you are going to leave him behind if you suceed, which might explain the sabotaging. My girlfriend kept buying ice cream, which is my weakness, and I would get so mad --but eat it! So I had to tell her calmly that I needed her help. I've tried to get my girlfriend (whose butch and acts like a dude) to get on sparkpeople, but she won't. It might be a guy thing.
    They process things differently. Well Good Luck! and don't let anyone stop your progress.
    4543 days ago
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