Under construction/ emotionally and physically

I have been dealing with a hectic work schedule, but I am finally at peace with the jitters of working again, i feel a lil mor independent. I still here the whispers in my ear, telling me I 'm not as small as I was when i first started, i gained weight after joining, I'm no longer sexy and that my boyfriend will no longer want me, but these are voices I have to fight and keep under control, because it starts with me I can't eat all kinds of food when I'm down I have to take a lil responsbility, yes this weight problem is fast spreading desease, but i have great ppl, who are doing it and losing the weight ( such as Joette a great friend who stays on my butt and reminded me of my blogs, lol ) and then have prettynink23, who is sturggling with me but we hang int here and encourage eacother, she is amazing and I don't know what I would have done without her and many of my sparkers who r keeping up with me and hanging in there, I put this pic up, alil afraid of what pplw ould think, she know she need to stop or she got rolls here and there, but I had a guy friend from another site( he helps me cuz he does bodybuilding) he told me I look more toned and he could see a change I couldn't and that made me appreciate it even more, So i say don't always listen to the crazy voices in ur head, as long as u have the spark and great friends u too, could pick up your spirits and feel a lil better, not 100% no, but just maybe 50% and 50% feels pretty darn good to me ( i'll save 100% for when i get 20 pounds lighter, lol) ..( but i do think this pic looks ok, joette) not the bomb but i see what u man about the curves and that's why i liked it, lol..thanks