This is early, but...
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Well, I just finished working out. Normally, I am excited to get to it and, half way in, I feel proud that I have begun my workout and on feel like I'm on a roll. Today, not so much. I just couldn't seem to get into it. My body is a tiny bit sore from yesterday's workout, but not enough to do nothing. I did burn 385 calories worth though so I am not too sure why I am feeling so disappointed in myself right now, but I do.
I have missed my first mini-goal, and I keep thinking that I have missed the first and will therefore, inevitably miss all the others. The truth is, the others are still well within my reach if I stay on track. With exercise, no problem; with eating, not so bad; with water, golden; with soda - HORRIBLE!!! I just don't seem to discipline myself to go without it. I am not just having a little either. For the last 3 days I have had at least 32 to 44 oz. This is ridiculous. I am messing up all the hard work I am accomplishing all because of the taste and small, short-lived satisfaction I get from the sip off a straw. "Hello retard!!!"
I am most afraid of not making my mini-goals and in the end not accomplishing my ultimate goal. I am not just losing weight because I want to look good for graduation, but because I want to look good period. I have decided after all these wonderful years with no boobies to finally get breast implants. This is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember and for one reason or another, I have never gone through with it, but now, I am determined. I want to finish my Master's Degree and lose this 70 pounds and reward myself with a nice pair of knockers. This is the more important reason to lose the weight. How good are nice tata's going to look if I am still size 18, rolly and flabby and dimply? (Sorry, I'll spare you the details...)
Anyway, I will blog on Friday, which is my regular blog day. I know this is early, but I felt the need to talk and I don't feel like I have anyone to go to right now (face to face) that really gives a who-haw. See what Texas is doing to me, where am I getting these words and phrases? LOL... Talk to y'all later, thanks friends.