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Re-evaluating my goals...

Friday, June 06, 2008

I have decided that I really need to "check" myself. (My hubby would volunteer if I said this to him, but that is not what I mean.) emoticon

1) I have been doing my hours worth of exercise 5 days a week (One of the only things I am doing right).

2) I am posting in SP, but mostly to get the points, which is not the RIGHT reason IMO. It does make me feel like I am actually really trying and that makes me feel satisfied when I shouldn't because if I am just entering info, that isn't going to make a difference in my weight.

3) I have been eating within my calorie range almost everyday, but not the RIGHT foods; in fact, horrible foods, all the wrong foods, nutrient poor foods, calorie empty foods, you get the picture. Also, I have been having soda everyday (NO, not DIET). It really is my one true weakness when it comes to this whole new lifestyle thing. At every free opportunity to drink something, I am always looking for an excuse to have a pop. For example, this morning, I was running early for work and so I decided to go and buy a coke. My rationalization was that I had extra time on my hands. I don't want to be running late just so I don't allow myself to go buy a soda if I am on time. What good is that?

4) Money. I am so bad with money. I keep thinking of all these things to buy when I don't have any real reason to and I could be paying off bills. I broke a promise to my hubby that I would have the bills paid off by the time he got home from Kuwait and I didn't get any paid off at all. He is being really understanding about it, but that only makes me feel like a bigger terd in the whole scheme of things. I really need to fix my priorities.

5) I have signed up for an online course 7 mos. ago and haven't finished it yet. I have to complete it by August 31 and I swear that is just like an excuse to wait to the last minute for me. I am such a procrastinator.

I know these things about myself, yet I do them anyway and I HATE IT!!! I really need to readjust my thinking, my priorities, my goals, all of it. I am so out of control on discipline. I expect my kids to listen to me and I don't even listen to me. What a retard!!!!!! I wish I weren't so fat that I could kick my own butt because I think I really need a swift one right now.

Anyway, I am down 0.2 lbs. this week. Probably would have been more if I got myself together. As I write this I am looking at my cola. In the trash it goes....sweet victory Jesus!!! Oh man, I just threw money away. OH WELL, I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!
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