One person's *whale* is another person's goal...
Monday, June 16, 2008
After getting some sleep and doing my daily affirmations and just getting quiet with myself a lot of answer's came to me. Some answer's to thing's i didn't even realize I had asked about hehe.
I love to wander around this site and see other people's pages/thoughts etc. It seems I let old demon's get into my head when seeing a batch of pages where people spoke of themselves in such a cruel manner. I have been guilty of that myself so that wasn't the issue. My inner issue's are with people who are my height range and have starting weights of what a doctor say's I *should* weight: 115-130 and proceed to call themselves beached whales, gross, fat and other negative words. While I get that a person still wants to lose weight and feel's heavier then they are comfortable with~and in no way will I EVER see a woman or man who weighs in that range and think oh that's a fat girl sorry LOL~ it just made me feel like crap that something I am told I should weigh is seen as a beached whale by some who weigh that much. I admit I was doing the same with my short term goals~I'd LOVE to reach 175 and then 150. So seeing people who weigh that much and saying the same things: I look like a fat cow, a beached whale (what the hell are we saying this stuff about ourselves for anyway?!?!) etc. was making me feel so depressed and like just giving up. And THAT for me was HUGE!!!! No pun intended. =o) At first I had no idea what was going on, just that I was angry and being self abusive to myself the past 3 days. My Spirit was not happy and this is usually the point I'd have given up and went back to old ways of hating myself.
Now I am aware athat no matter what the weight, a person want's to feel and look good. And I know how hard that last 5-10 pounds is to let go off and how frustrating it can be for whomever is in that part of the journey. However, none of that changes that when any of us say we look like a fat cow, a beached whale, gross or like crap at whatever weight we are, it's not good. It's sad really that we are so easy to say something like that about ourselves but will look at a loved one/a friend or another human the same weight etc. and never even THINK to say they look like a fat cow (if we are in a loving place within ourselves) But we can do it to ourselves all day long. I am not excited about my weight but now I realize that my weight is someone else's goal weight~short term or whatever. So knowing that and knowing how much I love my friends and to support people, I can no longer say those kind of things about myself without saying them about other's and I just can't do that.
What a huge life and personal journey lesson this is for me! I feel so much better today and I did not go off track with my nutrition. Now I I could just pick up that fitness bug so many of you have.....hehe