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over-eating and self destruction...no more!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I am thinking as I post this morning about my last blog and where my mind has been lately! In the past I have assisted a friend in taking care of the ladies in a group home she runs! These women all have varied emotional difficulties and yet many of them are awesome ladies who,just like you and I have been affected my lifes situations and felt that they couldnt cope! A few of them are cutters and have been self injurious as a means of escape! I used to wonder how anyone could ever do that to themself but the more I am learning the more I realise what some of their triggers are and how that girl who hurts herself could potentially be anyone! Any friend who never tells you how hurt she is inside by all the bad and sad things in her life!(or his) A person pushed so far by the pain in their life that making themself hurt actually makes them feel alive! Its a difficult thing to understand and it must be such a difficult thing to experience!

My friend made a comment the other day that really got me to thinking about this self injurious behaviour as compared with over eating and not excersising! Seriously if you really think about it,for some of us our binge eating and lack of excersise has become a self destructive pattern! My blood pressure,my cholesterol ,my heart and my swollen veins are all parts of my body that I am injuring due to my excessive eating and lack of physical activity! So when I take a serious look at myself and start to evaluate my motives and what makes me do the things I do or the things I seem to NOT do..........I really realise that I am only hurting myself! So many of us have some kind of pain or disappointment burried deep inside of us! Some people have come to a place where they recognise that pain and have dealt with it appropriately and some of us have not! I eat and wallow in the "poor little me" thoughts , when I am not handling my pain properly and I dont want to be that kind of person! I accept that some bad things have happened to me in this life but if I am to ever overcome this overeating thing I have to accept what has happened,acknowledge that those things are my past,not my present and definitely not my future and move past it. I am not just the woman who had this stuff happen to her I am so much more than that! I will excersise control over this mind of mine and I will choose to make better decisions for my health! I will not allow myself to injure my body in this way any longer! Life is too short to waste another minute of it! So.....here I go......onward and upward! I might start to feel a bit down again ,after all,it happens but I will not let those feelings control me,I WILL CONRTOL MY FEELINGS!

Its a new day! Thanks to everyone who reads. I hope you find it enlightening!

hugs Tina
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TELMEN
    I have been very discouraged lately and God led me to your page. Thank you for your inspirational story. Today is a new day. Pray that I can stop my emotional eating and get on task. I have to stop hurting my self in this way. Thank You, Tracey
    4149 days ago
  • BABS763
    I think your page was one of the 1st I looked at in my 1st few days at SP and the blog about self destruction has stuck with me ever since. It's so true! And evey time I think about eating I wonder if I am hungry or just automatically reaching for the think I know how to do best. Then I wonder if I am abusing myself with too much food, before I eat. Your insight is a great help to me. Thank you for sharing it. I want to tell you I enjoy seeing your picture surrounded by flowers - it makes feel good. The colors, your smile - it gives me such joy. What a happy you! Stay on your success track. You can do it!

    I gained 5 pounds!? I know, I am at the gym 4-5 days per week and muscle is heavier. But it is still hard to look at. I sure don't want to change my ticker number. Have a great day! :)
    4157 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    Tina, hugs.
    Great attitude.
    One day at a time!
    Debbie
    4221 days ago
  • TOOTLEPIP
    Baby steps, Baby steps. That is what I am finding for myself.
    4229 days ago
  • RSOBIES
    Hugs back
    4230 days ago
  • ROSES4CLC
    Tina, my heart goes out to you. Nobody knows your pain except you, but it does sound like you are on the right track in dealing with it. The next time you feel the first signs of depression creeping up on you, that is the time you should get busy! Don't give yourself time to dwell on the past. Get up and get out of the house. Don't let yourself be alone when those thoughts start, get on the phone with a friend, go to the library, go shopping, do anything to distract yourself. Do this every time, eventually try working up to going to the gym, or a bike ride, something physical. The exercise will not only distract you, but will also help with the depression as well.

    emoticon
    4230 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2701801
    Good for you..! I so loved your blog and all you said.. we all have something some worse than others, but good thing a lot of us have delt with it.. i was sexually abused once when i was 9 .. affected me all my life but now i am dealing with it and all the feelings and losing. Its been a long journey and still going.. so at 57 if i can do this so can you!!!!!!!! make every day a fun day find things to do to keep you busy and learn new things, a lot can be exercise, i dont waite for husband to do things i do them! mowing.. digging in garden and planting plants anmd even digging up big roots@@ with all the weight training i do.. i am strong and if i get hurt i recover much easer too! hope things go for you much better now.. hugss Geri
    4230 days ago
  • SKINNYNANNY
    Tina
    sometimes we need some help when we get to the point where we can't get ourselves out of injurous behaviors. I am a firm believer in asking for help when we get stuck in a bad space. IF you can control the behaviors and are aware of them, then more power to you in over coming them!
    I have many friends and relatives who try over and over again to control their addictions and chemical imbalances, and find out again that they cant' do it by themselves. And sometimes we can change things on our own, and should. You are on the right track in owning how you can change what you do, and can do things differently. I know how you feel, I find myself repeating negative behaviors and feeling down about it. But I am so much more aware than I was before. I know that this is doable, and we can do this! we will succeed! you and many others here just have to not let our past dictate our future! don't be afraid to deal with things as they come up, purging our past frees our future!
    blessings my friend, ( do you not work in the group home any longer?)
    Tina1
    4230 days ago
  • FUNNYSCRIBBLER
    Helping Others = Commendable

    Helping Yourself = Priceless!

    You're on the right path... and I'm there with you!
    4230 days ago
  • EMMASMART
    feelings are just feelings. It's our thoughts about our feelings that get us in trouble. If you catch your self thinking phrases like "worst in the world", 'rotten", "awful" You know the over the top negative stuff. Then you know.. Oh man, check out my thinking today. It's so bad it's funny. because generally when we go over the top in our negativity we are exaggerating. Very few are the worth and very few are the best. Feelings happen we can't really control them. it's what we do with them.

    Last night they had a show on the "last lecture" guy and I was impressed by his wife who said when she starts crying and feeling sorry for herself. She uses the phrase "Not Helpful". This phrase helps her to search for an attitude that is helpful. I am going to use this. I think it's brilliant. I hope it works. In a year or two I hope she comes out with her book on overcoming grief and loss. She's so wise I can't wait to hear what she's learned!

    Emma

    4230 days ago
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