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Some days life sucks

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Ever had a day that was going...so-so...not horrible, but not great and youre thinking to yourself "Tomorrow will be better" and then something happens that slams you into the tears and depression?

I just had that.

Its not bad enough that Im dealing with Rabid not being here every day, with this job not only am I dealing with my lonliness (I will adjust) but also having to keep her spirits up. So she calls me and asks if I can bring her a Diet Dew or water. So I called and asked if she could meet me out front so I wouldnt have to get out. She never called back so I had to get dressed (Its hot as hell here and one of our AC's broke 3 days ago, the one in our room) So I struggled into clothing, grabbed a dew and water and took them to her.

When I went in the girl behind the counter must have been dropped on her head 5 or 6 times becz I asked for Rabid and she looked at me like no one was there with that name. She went to the back and the owner said "Shes out back" ok...so Im standing in the restaurant, in a shabby sundress, my hair pinned haphazardly in a bun, (straggles and GRAY), havent shaved my legs in DAYS, look like something the dog decided wasnt good enough to drag in and the teenaged boys that are sitting at the tables PLAYING GAMES (not eating!) staring a hole in my rather LARGE behind. So Kristy comes out, I give her the liquids and come home, not to far to drive, but Im sticky, hot and tired.

I step out of the car thinking "Im going to check the mail" and this HEATHEN from next door, on his (or her...couldnt tell , the little red neck could be either) bike and YELLS from the middle of the road at about the MIDDLE of my yard (so maybe 20 feet frrom me) yells "FATSO!" I blinked, I couldnt believe some child was raised in this manner and I said "What?! Excuse me?!" and this CHILD flipped the bird at me! I said "Excuse me?" Then I said probably the dumbest thing, I said "Grow up!" I WANTED to shout profanities! I WANTED to say "Go tell your parents what you just said and did, bcz Im going to tell them." Instead this BRAT turned and road into their drive way (OUR HORRIBLE neighbors that torment our dogs, trespass on out property etc and then come over wanting us to BUY things when the school is selling them!) and I came inside and burst into tears.

Its times like this I just want to go in, bake a batch of brownies and EAT. Ive lost 50 lbs or more since starting (before SP came into my life). I CANT see it, I see NO changes and then this.... :*(

I think I just want to quit now ......gonna have a good cry...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD2112467
    I can't believe ppl still act like! I am shocked. Sorry you guys are going thru such a rough time!
    4579 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3654535
    You know, I think if people saw the affects of horrible behavior like that, they wouldn't do it. For instance, if that child knew that you went into your home and cried, he'd see you as a human being, instead of an object.

    Let's remember that everyone views the world through different eyes. Back when I was a size 5...just starting to climb the ladder toward gaining weight from the size 3 where I started (and believe me sister, those days are long gone), a man called me PHAT, which he insisted was a compliment, but 1) I don't think that's what he meant, and 2) who cares what he meant - that's insulting, and it really hurt my feelings. Now, who in their right mind has that opinion of someone who is a size 5? I'll tell you who - that guy. So, what's my freaking point here? My point is - it really doesn't matter one whit how much weight you lose - some jerk is going to call you fat. It's the way that society wields power, especially over women.

    You must learn not to let it get under your skin. This child was trained by someone to wield that word against people because it is hurtful. The best revenge is staying on your path, living a long and healthy life, and showing everyone that you can stay above it...which is EXACTLY what you did.

    You didn't go in and eat the brownies. You did stay on your path. You did remember that you've lost an AMAZING 50 lbs! You didn't swear at the child. You behaved like the adult - which is what you are. And for that, you will be blessed.

    Don't think twice about this incident. This was a child who had been taught hate. Feel sorry for him. He may never get the opportunity to grow past this. Let's hope that he learns love somewhere, because he's clearly not learning it at home.

    In the meantime, I admire you...and my admiration does not come easily. I could not say the same, had you retaliated. I'm proud of you. Hold your head high. You were successful in this encounter.
    4580 days ago
  • YEPITSMEH
    As long as you feel this way about yourself, others will look at you the same way! You need to put your head up and smile! You have lost 50 pounds!
    The kids statement wouldn't have hurt you so bad if you didn't think that way about yourself. You need to make changes so you start feeling better about yourself. Get up in the morning and do yourself up! I know its easy to run about in our jammies a good portion of the day when we work from home but little things to matter, and when you feel good about yourself it shows. You already felt icky when you left the house, so you felt everybody was staring at you and looking at you bad. Rabid should dye your hair, you shave those legs of yours and chin up! You are not a "FATSO" and that kid has never been through anything in his life as you have.

    Karma will probably have him as an obese adult in the future as punishment!

    You are beautiful woman! Let this radiance you carry within - OUT! Its the little things we do that really do make a difference in the end.

    You are loved hon, and moving soon! :) f*ck 'em...
    4584 days ago
  • FIT2TRAIN
    I'm always here, no matter what. I love you.
    4584 days ago
  • no profile photo SIZE-0-4EVER
    You cant quit Amaya...you and Kristy can get through this together.She's taking a big step and so are you. You'll be doing ALOT of that in the near future and this is just the tip of the iceberg..right?? You've been through plenty in your life hun....you can deal with this!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4590 days ago
  • SUSIEQ-1
    emoticon
    4590 days ago
  • GOTTALOSEINNC
    hugs!!! I am so sorry that kid was so hurtful! I pray that you give yourself some good ole TLC tonite... you deserve it!
    4591 days ago
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