Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Okay...this may be long and is more of me just venting and getting out some issues in my head. Nothing weight related here...just life stuff.
If your reading this....here is some history before I go on to my little rant.
Over the last few years (about 3) it has been me and 2 other girls - We were BFF's. We did everything together. We all work together so work was fun and it was always the 3 of us - we just automatically came in a group. We hung out on the weekends with our kids and families, shopped, ate lunch, laughed and cried together.
About 6 months ago something changed....I blame myself but not sure why or what I did. We just drifted apart. They are still great friends but I'm just left behind. Now, like I said, I blame myself for this...I'm not a phone kinda girl so I never really call/called...but we worked together so it wasn't like we didn't see each other. Anyway, something changed and they've moved on without me. One of them just had a baby, her 2nd. I wasn't really included in the plans of the shower or helping with anything really. I was hurt and again felt left out.
It's funny how life changes so quickly. This time last year we were planning our 80's Halloween costumes together and now I don't even think either of them are coming to my birthday/Halloween party.
I have really been beating myself up over this. I've questioned why they wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore...I've doubted the person I am....I've thought about what I could have said or done differently. It amazes me how sad/upset the whole situation makes me. Work sucks now...and it's awkward when I'm in the kitchen and they are in there eating together....I've given up so now I don't even try to call/talk/hang out..I do hate that about myself - I give up way to easily.
I tried talking to them a few weeks ago about how things have changed and they both say nothing is different and things are fine..their just busy, etc.
I swear this sounds like high school, right?! I'm promise I'm not crazy and normally I don't have a drama filled life!! ;)
Anyway...I hate that I'm questioning myself. I know I'm a good person and a good friend. I also know that things happen and life changes but sometimes change sucks!!!
Okay...enough of the pitty party!
***On a weight loss/food note, this week is going really well!! Today I had only fruits/veggies and some soup for lunch...it was a clean eating day for me!! I'm off to the gym now for a cardio sculpt class!! I've had a migraine since Friday so I'm hoping the stress relief of exercise will help make it go away!!!! That or the 3,000 excedrin migraines I've taken over the last few hours...J/K! :)
I'm still trying to figure out how to get less sodium in my foods...today was a great day for food but my sodium is way too high! I think the combo of chicken for lunch with soup screwed me up. I guess it's just trial and error, huh? I'll learn!!