It's official....life is in the crapper
Friday, October 03, 2008
After mylast blog, I did go for a walk and felt much better. I had the same ol' talk with myself, that I am the only one that can change things in my life. No one else can do it. I have to do it for myself and "I" have to do it. I have to walk, make the right food choices and drink the water, etc.... Well, then yesterday things went into the crapper. DH was laid off again at work. He has worked at this job for 4 years and still has yet to work a full year. Between back surgery, neck surgery, and being laid off numerous of times, it has not been a full year at one stretch. This time he has no idea how long it will be. He has been looking for another job, and I am sure will land one soon. The biggest problem is he needs to make so much because of our bills. I just got caught up on our bills from being behind from the last lay off, and now this. I have 100% confidence that he will find one soon, but its just the fact that this company has done this again. He is the last one to be laid off and the first one to be called back.
I know things will get better but its just a matter of when. I am so friggin tired of going through this. It really sucks. Then with him home 100% of the time and frustrated, he takes it out on me. He is just upset and not the nicest person. He seems to have a bad attitude towards me all the time. Its times like this that I end up in my black hole and don't want to come out. I try to stay away from him, but its hard too at all times. I do work but only part time, so that does help some. Then it seems like I can never do anything right for him. Then my weight was up today. It is going in the wrong direction. So when it was up, the first thing I thought of was what can I eat to make me feel better. I didn't do too bad on that though. I did keep myself under control for the most part.
So for now, my life is in the crapper. I know it could be a lot worse, but right now I know I am not happy...........