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It's official....life is in the crapper

Friday, October 03, 2008

After mylast blog, I did go for a walk and felt much better. I had the same ol' talk with myself, that I am the only one that can change things in my life. No one else can do it. I have to do it for myself and "I" have to do it. I have to walk, make the right food choices and drink the water, etc.... Well, then yesterday things went into the crapper. DH was laid off again at work. He has worked at this job for 4 years and still has yet to work a full year. Between back surgery, neck surgery, and being laid off numerous of times, it has not been a full year at one stretch. This time he has no idea how long it will be. He has been looking for another job, and I am sure will land one soon. The biggest problem is he needs to make so much because of our bills. I just got caught up on our bills from being behind from the last lay off, and now this. I have 100% confidence that he will find one soon, but its just the fact that this company has done this again. He is the last one to be laid off and the first one to be called back.

I know things will get better but its just a matter of when. I am so friggin tired of going through this. It really sucks. Then with him home 100% of the time and frustrated, he takes it out on me. He is just upset and not the nicest person. He seems to have a bad attitude towards me all the time. Its times like this that I end up in my black hole and don't want to come out. I try to stay away from him, but its hard too at all times. I do work but only part time, so that does help some. Then it seems like I can never do anything right for him. Then my weight was up today. It is going in the wrong direction. So when it was up, the first thing I thought of was what can I eat to make me feel better. I didn't do too bad on that though. I did keep myself under control for the most part.

So for now, my life is in the crapper. I know it could be a lot worse, but right now I know I am not happy........... emoticon
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  • LINDA!
    I hope things are better for you this weekend. It is tough when your DH is laid off and you are only working part time. Seems like life is just one problem after another....here's a big cyber hug!!! emoticon emoticon
    4087 days ago
    Good for you taking positive action like going for a walk to relieve stress. Also by posting your distress you have called us to you for support. Cherish every breath you take and focus on what you have. Sooner or latter your feelings will catch up to your thoughts. I will be thinking good thoughts for you and hold you up when you are down. emoticon Hang in there friend.
    4089 days ago
    Life can be pretty hard to understand sometimes Tolblondee. Don't give up hope. I know money must be very tight, but maybe you can find a club you can join for free that will give you a change of scenery now and then and give you a break. Are there any social clubs or community groups you could volunteer for? Sometimes just doing good for others can make a person feel valued and appreciated. It might make up for the lack of recognition you're feeling from your spouse right now. Get him to join too if he will. I think he is probably feeling pretty down about his situation which is making him hard to deal with. Most men take great pride in bringing home a pay cheque and taking care of family finances. He must be feeling very frustrated.

    When things seem beyond our control, we all tend to chow down whatever we can to make ourselves feel better. Hence the term "comfort food", but giving up on our goal of good health is anything but comforting. Take the time to sit and write down ways of making small changes in your life that will help you to cope with your current situation. When you are walking, think of all the things that you are greatful for, instead of what is causing you stress. Your beautiful puppies, Smokey and Goodwrench. The fact that you have your health and are able to get outside and walk ( many people are in wheelchairs...what a blessing it is to be able to get around on your own ), think about all the things that make you smile, watching a kitten play with string, the smell of fresh cut grass, the taste of fresh strawberries, the sound of loon on a lake. Use your five senses to find joy in the little things. Life might seem overwhelming right now, but this will pass. It did before, right? You paid all the bills once before. You will again. Hang in there kiddo. We are all pulling for you!
    4089 days ago
    I am so very sorry that you're going through all of this. We've been there too. It's tough, I know it. I'm praying for you. I'm praying right now for a new job for DH and strength for you. Don't let him be mean to you. I know it's easy for me to say. Freddy is not mean to me. I am very, very lucky to have such a wonderful hubby. But, it's just not okay to take his anger and frustration out on you. If he was laid off, it's not his fault, but it's certainly not yours! I will continue to pray for you. Let me know if you want to chat or need anything more from me.
    Love and Blessings.
    emoticon emoticon
    4089 days ago
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