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12/09/08

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dec 09/08. I still here still fat. The following is what I took down off the front of my page..I suppose it is called the introduction snippet or something.
Day one..10/27/6...over 100lbs to lose...STOP....11/30/6..I have changed my introduction...Today..I am taking full responsibility for my lot in life..my shape, my weight, my health. As of today..everything will be tracked. Goals will be met and my shape, my weight & my health will change. Failure is not an option..slow changes are ok..I have to remember, slow changes are ok..and lay the foundation to make this happen. No more waiting for it to come to me..I will do this and get it done. (You can see my first introduction I put on the site ..I have removed it..but it is at the end of my blog for 11/30/6)..........
It makes me sad to view this constant struggle and feel the complete failure I feel in myself. I still here sad, and uninspired..and sad. What I have created for my self makes me want to hide and disappear. I feel ashamed, but I have to go out and be productive...and wear my ugly clothes again and again and again. I won't allow myself to buy anything new, because I don't want to wear or invest in more enormous ugly fat clothes. I feel like I deserved to wear the same ugly clothes everyday because of what I have allowed myself to become. I am sad.
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