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VERY Depressed!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Well, I'm not one to blog to much, but the e-mail today said it helps keep you on track.

1st off, I gained though the holidays! I bought a new scale today that matches the YMCA and my Dr. scale. Which means... I right away gained 4 lbs on top of the 6 holiday pounds. that's 10 pounds to start out the NEW Year... NO FAIR!!!
So I swollowed my pride and moved my ticker!

Are ya following my depression so far?

Next.. I had a body fat % test done at the Y, Oh my! I was in tears, Really.

Then my lovely daughter and I had a slight tiff, Grrr teenagers! You would think I was pmsing, but I'm not!

I did have a Sparkfriend that I cried to today. (thank you for that by the way) She put a few things straight for me! XXOO

Ok, so here's where I turn things around. I went to the Y, did an aerobic class, which I felt like a over weight tuba player holding his tuba while working out! Ha!
Then after, I signed up for a 7 week Saturday morning sunrise class (7am) So the plan is to work out 3 days a week Forsure.
Well, since I was bitting ALL my bullets today! LOL! When I got home I had Hubby take 2 full lenght photos of me in my aerobic clothes. Sigh...
I should go to bed now!

I'm leader of the Wisconsin team, which now has 50,000 members, its a bit overwhelming, and I just hope they know, I'm struggling right along with them, I of course do not have all the answer to weight loss as you can see, but I'm there to cheer them along. I do love doing it, and have made wonderful friends along the way. So Thats not really a complaint. I just want everyone to know... I'm struggling too I guess.

Hey, Their right, I am starting to feel better blogging.

Thanks for reading gang... today was just a bit much with the scale and body% and photo thing. don't ever do them all on the same day. LOL!

Much love all!
I'm going to make 2009 the year I make ME proud!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JANERS070
    You are so funny!

    So where are you at? Im a member of the Y too! if we live close we should workout together
    4244 days ago
    I am in Door County WI
    4257 days ago
    Don't be so hard on yourself! I can walk 4x a week, 3 miles in 22 minutes, eat only 1300 calories, and do I lose? Nope. I am trying to not even think of what I should lose, still my highschool size, only that is re-distributed! emoticon
    4257 days ago
    Hey Barbie! I saw your note to me and guess what? I'm FROM Stevens Point! We're going to have to chat, seriously.

    And hey, if you would like some help with your weight loss goals, I work with a nutritional science company that is absolutely changing peoples' lives.

    I've lost 12 pounds so far, and my friend from Green Bay has lost 70! If you'd like to hear more, e-me or call my cell: 715-923-7358. Would love to chat!
    4267 days ago
    Oh my gosh Barbie you are so great! Thank you for being the head of the Wisconsin Team! You really do make me feel more welcome on this thing.. Holy Cow you have lost some poundage girl! you are amazing.. i hope i can see my ticker go down soon.. but remember- don't obsess about the scale. You are in the middle of a Lifestyle change.. an emotional, personal, and physical change. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you! I just hope i can face my fears of failure as well as you are..

    you rock!

    joelle from madison-
    4268 days ago

    First off ~ I can SO empathize with your Barbie. I have struggled off and on pretty much for as long as I have memory. I really want to just be normal~ NOT ~ stick thin, but normal size. I have also struggled with depression for many many years. Last week I was PMS'ing and this week of course it is just MS'ing. DS was home from school most of last week due to an incident the week before as well as 5 other boys. He made a stupid choice and knows it. DH was a bear and continues to be a doofus. I like when he is at work and I am home with the kids by myself. That is pretty sad huh?.
    We have to do a health risk assessment every year for DH's work. I really want this year to be a good one. I want to be at or very close to goal. I hate taking that fat % test. OMG!!! Barbie~ you can do this. It sounds like you have a great plan and have set things in motion. I wish that I lived in Point so that I/we as a family could utilize the YMCA. My second son went to gymnastics there and loved it. He was really good too.
    I am proud of you for hanging in and working through this. I know that it is not easy. Thank you for your honesty here in this blog and I am cheering for you!

    God Bless,
    Wendy emoticon MMWWWWAAAA!
    4275 days ago
    I too gained weight over the holidays and am totally depressed about starting the New Year off this way! I have fallen off the wagon and need to hop back on! I did one of these BMI calculators online and it said I was overweight. Just this past summer, my doctor said I needed to stay active but I was still within my healthy BMI. Now all I get from my online BMI is that I am overweight!!! I don't even want to go to the doctor to ask for help because he will see how much weight I have gained over the last couple months! I will offer any encouragement that I can to you if you'll do the same for me! It helps to have a friend that is going through the same things you are (or similar). You can do it girl!
    4275 days ago
    I hear you Barbie. I'm up 10 too, but aiming down in 2009. Looking on the bright side, I handled this holiday better than the last and the next will be better yet. I wish I got do-overs with my kids the way I get do-overs with the holidays! Just do your best with them - it's really all we can do.
    4278 days ago
    Hi, Barb.
    I will be coming home to Point in a few weeks. Am in Colorado right now. I'm going to try to do a lot of cross country skiing whenn I get there. Do you ever take part in this sport? If so, maybe you would like to join me? I've never done the body fat thing at the Y. If I did, I'd also be mucho depressed.
    I've raised five daughters through teenagerhood so far and have three left to go; it can be one of the most enjoyable, yet miserable times of your life.

    I hope to get on some teams soon.. just need to figure things out.

    4279 days ago
    WOW, that was a hard day for you -- for anyone! I think I would've had to have several DRINKS to numb the pain that night. You are stronger than that. That bubbly personality won't let you quit and you are the BEST at what you do -- keep us going in the right direction. Wish I would have read this sooner, but here are BIG HUGS from me. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4280 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1303805
    Hey, Barbie-just wanted to thank you SO much for all your work leading the WI team and give you some encouragement. You are such a great role model for all of us and I think it makes you even more amazing that you are willing to talk honestly about your struggles! emoticon
    4282 days ago
    Hey Barbie! emoticon and emoticon to you!

    Brave and honest post!
    I'm feeling the pain.. and the tighter clothes as well. It's good none of us have all the answers, we are part of a puzzle with pieces that fit together to help one another. Thank you for all that you do and your great message you left on my page.
    Keep moving forward and yes, 2009 will be the year we make ourselves proud!!
    You are a star!!
    4283 days ago
  • TLB513
    As you know, I haven't been a very good Sparker lately... Thus, missing your post until just now. But... I know that you are doing what you need to do, to get right back on track! WE CAN DO THIS!!!
    4284 days ago
    Oh Barbie! I soo know how you feel! You are doing such an awesome job at getting back on track! You are going to do it and you are going to look Awesome by camping season....we both are!
    4285 days ago
    Even our leaders tumble every now and then. You are special and admired for taking on this WI group.
    4286 days ago
    ((Barbie)) this a super big hug to my super friend! Sorry I'm reading this two days late...I just want you to know that you have succeeded in sooooo many ways, regardless of what the scale says. You truly bring me up and bring a SMILE to my face with every post, thank you for that! You do those crazy 90 minute classes of exercise, you are a force to be reckoned with!!! Don't forget that....................you will have those extra 10lbs off in NO TIME, I know YOU!!! One day at time. I want you to remember how much joy you bring not only to myself ,but MANY, MANY people!!! Love ya!!! Happy New Year!!!!
    4287 days ago
    Hey Barbie, I bet your heart rate is aWesOMe, unlike mine (82 at rest!). Think of all the healthy side affects from your toils, not the scale. I gained 10lbs too, a hard 10, that I can't seem to budge even 2lbs off. So thanks for caring and visiting me, ... I will be on the ACTIVE list in 2009. I got a heartrate monitor and I am going to use it. It will tell me what my calorie burn REALLY is, and how to keep my heart rate in the burn mode. We will be active in the new year, that's how you lose it (and portion control). You Go Girl!!!
    4289 days ago
  • BRENDA_2010
    Barbie- emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I am so proud of you. You did all three of the "enemy" lines in our weightloss journey in one day. Good for you. You are doing the right thing and getting on the right track. You are our leader, but you are also human. I am here for you!!
    We TOGETHER are going to start the new year out right and kick some butt. emoticon I am with you all the way.


    emoticon emoticon

    P.S. You should blog more, it does really help!!!
    4289 days ago
  • SANDYC17
    Dearest Exercise Sparkbuddy,
    You are one brave woman to have faced all that in one day. But being the strong supportive sparker that you are, you know that the only way to get back on the wagon when you slip and fall is to put all the negative stuff behind you and move forward with a positive attitude. If there is anything that I have learned about you over the past year (??? how long has it been??) is that you have a positive attitude -- AND YOU WORK YOUR TAIL OFF! So, just think of this as a little bump in the road on a long journey that we are on. I have complete faith in you and I'm right here taking the journey with you.
    emoticon emoticon
    4289 days ago
    Barbie...I feel your pain! You are doing the right thing so don't fret! The new year will be bright and you will lose even more. I know you will. Judi Pearl emoticon
    4290 days ago
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