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Missing a Spark Friend! A LESSON

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Hi Spark friends,
Weigh in today is a 1 pound loss. I will take that! Anything but gaining is a plus as I see it. I want to share my feelings and experience on losing a spark friend. By that I mean having someone who you have been in touch with and followed their progress as they have yours and supported one another. Then one day they are gone. No longer logging in to Spark People and you are left with no way to contact them and wondering how they are and what happened. You worry about them and miss the connection because they had become such a huge part of your life style changes and had become a friend and now they are no longer there. You care about the people you meet here. My analogy would be having a friend in rehab and they fall off the program and start using drugs again. Only in our case the bad foods are the drugs. You know what has happened they have done what I have done so many times in the past. Gone back to being in denial about our weight and ignoring our health issues that being over weight can cause. Settling for being unhappy about what we have done to our bodies and thinking it doesn't matter. Not caring enough about ourselves to make the needed changes. I had a hard time missing one of my spark friends for awhile. I really missed her and was concerned and worried. I wanted success for her. I know she could have done what it takes to be a healthier person who feels good about herself. She is a strong person. It made me sad and I must admit it discouraged me some. I started thinking things like who am I kidding, it will happen to me too. If she stopped ,then anyone can ! She was doing so well here. I can't keep this up and she is my proof. I was feeling weak I guess and timing was right for me to feel discouraged about what I am doing here. Then I began thinking about what she must be going through. I knew exactly what she was going through very well because I have been there so many times. I have given up and given in, in the past too. It was so easy to just fall off my plan and go back to pretending it did not matter to me how heavy I was regardless of how bad it is for my health. Who cares if I was heavy? I wasn't worth the time and effort it takes to get healthy. (You know how we can use any excuse to give in) Then, as I was thinking back to what I felt like in the beginning of this journey, I could actually feel those awful feelings I carried being so over weight . That hit me like a brick, I did not and do not ever want to go back to being that person I was when I began this journey. I had felt bad about myself and my energy level was so low. I realized I must continue in my journey and do what is best for me. I still missed my friend and worried about her. I checked her page everyday in hopes she came back. I knew I had come to far to go backwards and I can't let where someone else might be affect me and my progress. I have to do this for me. It was such a learning experience for me. She has no ideal how much I learned from her. Through her experience it showed me I am stronger then I thought. I went through all these feelings and emotions and a few weeks later. I was SO HAPPY to see my friend back here on the site. YAY! She is back! She did fall off track for awhile but caught herself. She was able to pick herself back up and start her program again. I am so thankful she was able to do this for herself. She clearly has gained some strength from doing the right thing for so long that she was able to start again. I am VERY proud of her and I am so happy to have her back! I wish her so much success and I know she can do it. As I told her, I do not think she failed at all. Failure would be going off track and never getting back on. She got back on. She is no failure! I was sad I did not have her here for awhile. However, her experience helped me see that I never want to go backwards and gave me more motivation to continue moving forward. She helped me see that I can do this. I need to do this for me. She can and will do this too. I just know it. So my spark friends, just know that some of us may get off track but there is no shame in that. Just be proud you are able to get back on track. We are all here for the same reason and sometimes we don't even realize just how much how we help each other out.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Donna, What a great reflection. We all end up surrounding ourselves with a couple of true SP friends that provide the motivation and affirmation we need to keep going... sometimes by just being there, listening, responding, doing a challenge with us. I am so grateful for my SP friends. Like you, I would be heart broken if they disappeared.... but, ever-so-happy when they came back. It's like the prodigal son... prodigal SP friend. We celebrate their return. Their achievement in coming back is just OVER THE TOP, a true success.

    Donna.... you would be dearly missed!!! emoticon
    4374 days ago
    Glad your friend returned. When we make certain good Spark friends over others it's hard not to have anymore contact with them. Not that she knows how happy you are to have her return hopefully she won't disappear on you again.

    Congrats on all the weight loss. You are really doing...... emoticon .

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    4380 days ago
    Yay! A happy ending! and Congrats on the 1 pound loss! Good for you!
    4382 days ago
    Yes, this place can get you attached to folk. So now when I get close to people on here i ask for their info. LOL Because if I don't see them, guess what, i CALL THEM UP! I stay on top of them w/out trying to get on their nerves. I want them to know I need them. Glad she's back and congrats on your pound!
    4383 days ago
    yay! Have a great week!
    4383 days ago
  • JBMT08
    Hey Lady, Congrats on the 1 pound REMOVED! YEAY!!!!!!!!

    Your blog was very deep. I felt the passion and the concern you had for your Spark Friend. I was elated when I got to the end of your blog, because your friend came back. She saw what she was going through, and she rebounded. It is ok to slip so long as you come back, like you said. HOORAY for light bulb moments!
    4383 days ago
    Wow! Congrats first of all on your pound gone!

    And I can totally relate to those feelings of not wanting to go back there. I had a slightly bad start to the week - no gym and slightly unhealthy food. Well! I felt low, bloated, sluggish and I can't believe I used to feel like that all the time!!!!

    So way to go on your progress and your realizations!
    4384 days ago
    Great blog Donna! Believe it or not another member and I have also recently lost a spark friend, Yes, it is so sad, though it was not for the same reason it still hurts your heart and you wish you could help them.
    You are doing great though, We are all proud of you!
    4384 days ago
    good job on sticking with it and loosing weight!!. I too have lost a couple spark friends but they have not come back yet I hope they do.
    4385 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    Congratulations on your 1 lb. gone forever!
    That si super!
    Sometimes that ahppens. About no contact suddely from Spark Friends. I ahve seen it much too often. It could be computer problems too.

    Don't worry be ahppy!

    4385 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.