My Past Bad Habits Come to Mind
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Weigh in yesterday was a one and a half pound loss. Yep, I will take it! I have been having a lot of realizations the last couple of days as to how bad my bad eating habits really were. It has been flashing through my mind for some reason what lengths I used to go to obtain my bad food and feed my bad habits. I looked at my cell phone today and realized I had 7 different numbers to crappy food places on it. I remembered when I put them in. It was so that the food would be all ready for me to pick up and devour. I didn't want to wait for it because I had to have it right away! Then I remembered I also had these numbers on my speed dial to top it off. I didn't want to take the time to look up the number. I drove by a McDonald's on the way to an appointment today and as I passed it I thought wow I used to go there a lot. It was so bad at one point I would eat a cheeseburger on the way home then eat the other stuff after I got home. Oh my God what was I thinking? Never worried or even thinking about the calories or the fat , the horrible fat in that food I used to eat. I thought nothing about what it was doing to my heart or my arteries. I was really burying what I was doing deep inside me. I was going for the instant gratification of that food. Never worried about the consequences to my health. I am so happy I am where I am now. I am so thankful I found this site and all the wonderful people here. I find myself not only watching what I eat now but I am so conscious of the food I put in my body now that I also notice what others are eating when I go out. Like this morning I stopped to get a coffee on the way to my appointment and so I stopped in a place where bagels were sold and other stuff. I was waiting for my coffee and a man came in and ordered a bagel with an egg, cheese, double bacon and butter on it. Then he ordered a side order of greasy potatoes and a huge mocha coffee. All I could think as I watched was wow I can't even count those calories or the fat in that stuff. I thought about how I used to be that person too ordering whatever I wanted with no worries of the health consequences to me. I NEVER want to do that to myself EVER AGAIN! I am repulsed by by former behavior and my treatment of myself. I am happy to report I have deleted all those bad numbers and I no longer walk in a fast food restaurant unless it is for a coffee. That is even rare. I guess what I am saying is as I go through this journey a lot of things have hit me at various times about my past bad habits and I am learning a lot about who I was and who I have become. It is really eye opening to put it all together. I was always an emotional eater. Upset me, I'd eat, make me happy, I 'd eat, make me unhappy, I 'd eat, Hurt me, I'd eat, Celebration, I'd eat, sad, I'd eat. Any feeling or emotion was reason to eat for me. I think now I am seeing that I was eating my feelings instead of dealing with them. I used food as a way to make me feel better so many times. In reality it was comforting me like a cat babysitting a mouse. It was going to kill me if I didn't stop. How much can our arteries or our heart take of all that junk! Anyway, I just wanted to share with my spark friends my latest realizations. I hope if your struggling at all that you will perhaps read this and remember all your bad habits and bad foods that placed your health in jeopardy and how you felt when you treated yourself that way. Then I want you to realize that you, WE all need to keep moving forward with our healthy lifestyles. I for one NEVER want to be the person I was before when it came to my eating habits. It now makes me sick when I think of it. I must have not liked myself very much back then. So come with me and lets keep moving forward into our new healthier, smaller bodies . TOGETHER, we can ALL do it! Thanks for being here. I appreciate all of you very much.