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My Past Bad Habits Come to Mind

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Weigh in yesterday was a one and a half pound loss. Yep, I will take it! I have been having a lot of realizations the last couple of days as to how bad my bad eating habits really were. It has been flashing through my mind for some reason what lengths I used to go to obtain my bad food and feed my bad habits. I looked at my cell phone today and realized I had 7 different numbers to crappy food places on it. I remembered when I put them in. It was so that the food would be all ready for me to pick up and devour. I didn't want to wait for it because I had to have it right away! Then I remembered I also had these numbers on my speed dial to top it off. I didn't want to take the time to look up the number. I drove by a McDonald's on the way to an appointment today and as I passed it I thought wow I used to go there a lot. It was so bad at one point I would eat a cheeseburger on the way home then eat the other stuff after I got home. Oh my God what was I thinking? Never worried or even thinking about the calories or the fat , the horrible fat in that food I used to eat. I thought nothing about what it was doing to my heart or my arteries. I was really burying what I was doing deep inside me. I was going for the instant gratification of that food. Never worried about the consequences to my health. I am so happy I am where I am now. I am so thankful I found this site and all the wonderful people here. I find myself not only watching what I eat now but I am so conscious of the food I put in my body now that I also notice what others are eating when I go out. Like this morning I stopped to get a coffee on the way to my appointment and so I stopped in a place where bagels were sold and other stuff. I was waiting for my coffee and a man came in and ordered a bagel with an egg, cheese, double bacon and butter on it. Then he ordered a side order of greasy potatoes and a huge mocha coffee. All I could think as I watched was wow I can't even count those calories or the fat in that stuff. I thought about how I used to be that person too ordering whatever I wanted with no worries of the health consequences to me. I NEVER want to do that to myself EVER AGAIN! I am repulsed by by former behavior and my treatment of myself. I am happy to report I have deleted all those bad numbers and I no longer walk in a fast food restaurant unless it is for a coffee. That is even rare. I guess what I am saying is as I go through this journey a lot of things have hit me at various times about my past bad habits and I am learning a lot about who I was and who I have become. It is really eye opening to put it all together. I was always an emotional eater. Upset me, I'd eat, make me happy, I 'd eat, make me unhappy, I 'd eat, Hurt me, I'd eat, Celebration, I'd eat, sad, I'd eat. Any feeling or emotion was reason to eat for me. I think now I am seeing that I was eating my feelings instead of dealing with them. I used food as a way to make me feel better so many times. In reality it was comforting me like a cat babysitting a mouse. It was going to kill me if I didn't stop. How much can our arteries or our heart take of all that junk! Anyway, I just wanted to share with my spark friends my latest realizations. I hope if your struggling at all that you will perhaps read this and remember all your bad habits and bad foods that placed your health in jeopardy and how you felt when you treated yourself that way. Then I want you to realize that you, WE all need to keep moving forward with our healthy lifestyles. I for one NEVER want to be the person I was before when it came to my eating habits. It now makes me sick when I think of it. I must have not liked myself very much back then. So come with me and lets keep moving forward into our new healthier, smaller bodies . TOGETHER, we can ALL do it! Thanks for being here. I appreciate all of you very much.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think about my bad habits too from the past. But the thing is, much of what I thought was an 'ok' diet... or 'not really unhealthy'... was in fact very bad stuff. I've been tracking my foods with my moods for a long time. I've learned that there are several chemicals & preservatives that I have to stay away from. There's some things that literally make me crazy. I get to the point where I'm angry, crying, throwing things, completely out of control and need someone to help me calm down. I get the Foggy Brain Syndrome so bad I can barely think for myself. Even little normal daily things get me completely confused. I get this way from eating anything with aspartame in it. I get this way when eating fat free yogurt (regular yogurt is ok), I get this way from eating processed cheese slices (regular cheese is ok)... and that's just to mention a few. People need to learn that it's not just the fat & empty calories that's important. It's the dangerous crap that's literally killing us and making us crazy that's just as important.
    4363 days ago
    It sounds like the realizations you've been having lately are some very positive ones. It makes me very happy for you to read that you finally deleted those crappy food phone numbers from your speed dial, that progress in action!

    Slow & steady, its the key to success.. sometimes life may throw us curve balls (as I've been learning) & we may have to hit the 'pause' button, but when we hit play again.. we continue our journey forward.. toward progress, & toward success! I wish you all the success & happiness one heart can handle Needpeople! Kudos also on the weight loss!!

    4368 days ago
    emoticon on your One and Half Pound LOSS!! When I read your blog I thought you were talking about me. It's hard to admit all the bad things we do to ourselves. You made me stop and realize all the things you said were true. You are an inspiration to me and I hope I can do and be as strong as you are. Thank you so much for sharing. It makes me realize I am truly not the only one going through these trials. emoticon Mary
    4368 days ago
  • LISA1316
    I'm so proud of you...another one and a half lbs...you are so awesome. Thank you for taking the time to write this blog it really hits home for me. Love you lots! emoticon
    4368 days ago
  • JBMT08
    OMG, you could not have written this blog on any more of a perfect day than you have today. I SO NEEDED TO READ THIS! I am SO EXICTED that you are my Spark Friend! You are the BEST! THIS is TRULY an inspriational read!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Isnt it wonderful to see how far you have come????

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    4369 days ago
    So inspirational! Thanks for sharing. I have yet to give up all my bad habits, but I'm improving each and every day! I'm an emotional eater too and need to work on it even more! Thanks again for sharing your journey!
    4369 days ago
    The day that I knew that I would win this battle was the day that I was sad, alone and in pain - but passed the Taco Bell drive thru and came home and made myself a healthy snack instead.

    It isn't an easy road to travel, that's for sure. (I feel like I am on a donkey, going up hill in a snow storm while everyone is taking the red eye flight) But I will get there. We will get there.

    4369 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/29/2009 1:17:28 PM
    Great blog and change of habits!
    4369 days ago
    GREAT blog! Congrats to you!!!! emoticon
    4369 days ago
    Another fan and addict of your blog :) It's outstanding! I love your candid reflections and will "stay tuned!" emoticon - Sara emoticon
    4369 days ago
    Awesome Realizations! Great Blog! Congratulations!
    4369 days ago
    Great insight and good blog! We are family, cause we need each other's support. Thanks for the invite to visit your blog. You go girl, you are my sister even if I don't know you. I will be cheking on you every now and then!

    4369 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4228914

    One by one, one day at a time. Those habits and behavioral changes made incrementally will lead to big changes in YOU!

    I too used to live at fast food places. I'm guessing their stock has went down over the past year. When you make your behaviors habit, that is the key to winning the battle. You are well on your way and congratulations again!

    4369 days ago
    emoticon on your weight loss.
    emoticon job on changing your behaviors and becoming the healthier person inside of you waiting to come out- It is emerging!!!
    4369 days ago
    Reading your blogs are a great inspiration!
    4369 days ago
    WOW - you are doing a great job! I love your blog - very motivational!

    4369 days ago
    Saw your invitation in the huddle. Good for you! I didnt quite have things on speed dial, but I knew my way around a Mc Donalds drive thru for sure! Thank God those days are over!
    4369 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    Very good entry here. Keep up the good work!

    4369 days ago
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