My old habit of Emotional Eating is trying to slip in! HELP!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Hi Spark Friends,
Just checking in to say hi to you all and to run something I am experiencing by you. It always helps me when I write about things. Okay so here it is. I am in this new life style eating healthy, exercising, and doing things for me for once, since August of last year. To date I have lost a total of 46 pounds. (Which still feels so odd to say even as I write it here). I am still in shock that I have actually been able to do that for myself for the first time in so many years. I am so happy and so very proud to have accomplished what I have so far. I am determined to reach my goal. I have actually not had to many issues come up so far with my journey until now. Lately, I have found myself "attempting to overeat". By this I mean I want to eat more then I have been thus far. I am almost positive it is emotional eating I am trying to fall back into. I am not hungry but I find myself looking around for something to put in my mouth. I have been under the weather for the last couple of weeks. I spent a couple days in the hospital and am on medications that make me sick to my stomach. I have three more days to go before I am done with them. THANK GOD! I am also struggling very much with the whole hormonal issues. I am going thru the change and don't wish this process on anyone ever! It has been a real hard thing on my body to have all this going on at once. So I decided to go on the hormone replacement therapy to get myself back. I have heard about all the risks of cancer with some of these medications but to tell you the truth if I had 5 years to live on this medication and got relief over 20 years to live with no relief, I will take the five years. I guess some people have a really hard time during this period and others barely notice the changes within. I am clearly a hard time case! Anyway, with all this, I am drifting in and out of my kitchen to look for something to put in my mouth. I guess I am miserable and am starting to get the old feelings of "the comfort food". We all know it isn't really comforting because it isn't good to overeat or eat unhealthy. I know this logically but mentally, I am a mess and am trying to fight this really hard. Fortunately, I have only healthy things in my house, so what I have done so far is to eat popcorn over fruit, or two skinny cows over fruit or something less calories or more nutritional. I have stayed within my calorie range but have not eaten what I know I should be eating but going for instead the popcorn or skinny cow. Today before my doctor said it was okay I went to the gym and did a workout. I thought that would help me because it would release good endorphins that would make me feel better mentally and physically and also keep me out of my kitchen roaming around aimlessly. I was there for just over an hour and had a great workout. However, I am back and still wanting to roam into the kitchen. I am not hungry. I am an emotional mess right now and do NOT want food to be my answer. I cannot allow myself to fall back in to old bad habits. I need support to stay strong during this period of time. I know this will all pass at some point (at least I am counting on it) and I do not want to take any steps backwards when I have come so far. So I am asking you my friends if you have any advice, suggestions, or comments that might help me to stay on the right track. I wanted to talk about this now before I did something stupid like buy some bad food. (Which I have not). You have all been such a wonderful support system for me and so encouraging and so inspirational to me for as long as I have been here. That is why I wanted to share not just my success but my struggles with you in hopes of getting thru this without getting off track. I thank you all so much in advance for any suggestions you can share with me. I do not want to backslide and I need support to keep on track right now.