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CARLTA1

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Thinking about me for the first time in a long time!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Life the past few months has been less that perfect. My husband and I have recently separated. I'm thinking divorce - He's thinking I'll come back and life will go back to normal.

My life, or what used to be my life, is no more. Everything is different. I now find myself with a lot of silence and time to think....and oddly enough, time for myself. At first I wasn't really sure what to do! This is the first time in 7 years that I've only had to think about me.

Several thoughts are swirling around in my head. Some are very positive - this is a new start, I deserve this, I deserve more that what I was getting, I'll have time to go back to school, time for the gym, time to focus on my career, time to shop, basically, just time to do whatever I want to do!!

Sadly though, after 7 years of worrying and caring about someone else - I don't know what I want.

I've learned that I'm co-dependent. I'm sure that plays a big part in my eating habits and weight gain and loss over the years. When this was first brought up I was so offended! I was NOT co-dependent! But, I definitely am...and it's okay! I can fix it - I can do this!!

Anyway - I'm back on Spark and I'm hoping that it will be a positive outlet for me! I need to fill my life with positive things and look forward to new beginnings!

Chat soon!
Amber
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • VIVRE5
    well Hello and Welcome Back :) i actually found you because I was looking for a good soy protein shake rexipe and ran across yours, and looked you up to ask what type of protein powder you use... but glad I found you because in a time like this, with all of the life schanges tohat come, another friend is always handy :) Probably a bit older than you, I have a little experience , soI have had a roller coaster life myself, dear one, so I always have a willing ear to listen :) Good luck and glad you made it back. Its been a literal lifesaver for me :) Jennie in Ky...
    4205 days ago
  • WANDASEW
    Your welcome! Come by and chat sometime, maybe take your mind off of some things! emoticon
    4207 days ago
  • CARLTA1
    Thank you, ladies!! I really appreciate it and I know I'll be needing the support over the next few months! :)
    4207 days ago
  • MSRUBY66
    Oh my dear, dear friend....I can feel your pain and though I have never been through exactly what you have, I too am going through a time in my life , that I find myself with A LOT of alone and quiet time, to be alone with my thoughts, and I know how very difficult and eye opening that can be! I still do not know what to do with myself once the house is clean.....And I too have so many things swimming in my head , day and night and want to make positive changes and move forward, it is hardest to make that first step isn't it?

    I am also a very co-dependent person ...I went from my folks house to my Husbands, to being a wife and a mother, depending on the DH and kids to be my happiness and friends too, and now 25 years later I am at a loss as to who I am , what I should be doing , what with the DH at work , the kids either out of the next or always at work and with friends and me not having anyone here as a friend.... but I have a few limitations from health and situation , you are younger and are basically getting a fresh start and I know this must be both scary and exciting!

    You are strong, I can already read between the lines that you will come out of this even stronger and make a wonderful new life for yourself and about yourself and one day you will find a love of your life that will like who you have become.

    Hang in there, and remember it is not co-dependent to look for support and hugs....we are here for you ! And as Khris said "We are here for you" ....When you are ready come back to us , post, jump right in to the March Fashion Challenge, there is still time and spend time around friends that love you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4209 days ago
  • CHEWYSPAGHETTI
    Amber- we've been missing you at the Style Diet team. Now I see why! We are here for you- whatever you need. You are strong and can get through this.
    4209 days ago
  • WANDASEW
    Amber, Im so sorry your having to go through this! You are strong though and remember you have us to lean on. I know what you mean about being co-dependent. I am still with dh, but as you may or may not know, Im learning to be myself agin and finding that independance again. I hope you do as well. If you ever need to chat send me a spark message! Weve missed you! emoticon
    4209 days ago
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