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Thinking about me for the first time in a long time!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Life the past few months has been less that perfect. My husband and I have recently separated. I'm thinking divorce - He's thinking I'll come back and life will go back to normal.

My life, or what used to be my life, is no more. Everything is different. I now find myself with a lot of silence and time to think....and oddly enough, time for myself. At first I wasn't really sure what to do! This is the first time in 7 years that I've only had to think about me.

Several thoughts are swirling around in my head. Some are very positive - this is a new start, I deserve this, I deserve more that what I was getting, I'll have time to go back to school, time for the gym, time to focus on my career, time to shop, basically, just time to do whatever I want to do!!

Sadly though, after 7 years of worrying and caring about someone else - I don't know what I want.

I've learned that I'm co-dependent. I'm sure that plays a big part in my eating habits and weight gain and loss over the years. When this was first brought up I was so offended! I was NOT co-dependent! But, I definitely am...and it's okay! I can fix it - I can do this!!

Anyway - I'm back on Spark and I'm hoping that it will be a positive outlet for me! I need to fill my life with positive things and look forward to new beginnings!

Chat soon!
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  • VIVRE5
    well Hello and Welcome Back :) i actually found you because I was looking for a good soy protein shake rexipe and ran across yours, and looked you up to ask what type of protein powder you use... but glad I found you because in a time like this, with all of the life schanges tohat come, another friend is always handy :) Probably a bit older than you, I have a little experience , soI have had a roller coaster life myself, dear one, so I always have a willing ear to listen :) Good luck and glad you made it back. Its been a literal lifesaver for me :) Jennie in Ky...
    4205 days ago
    Your welcome! Come by and chat sometime, maybe take your mind off of some things! emoticon
    4207 days ago
    Thank you, ladies!! I really appreciate it and I know I'll be needing the support over the next few months! :)
    4207 days ago
  • MSRUBY66
    Oh my dear, dear friend....I can feel your pain and though I have never been through exactly what you have, I too am going through a time in my life , that I find myself with A LOT of alone and quiet time, to be alone with my thoughts, and I know how very difficult and eye opening that can be! I still do not know what to do with myself once the house is clean.....And I too have so many things swimming in my head , day and night and want to make positive changes and move forward, it is hardest to make that first step isn't it?

    I am also a very co-dependent person ...I went from my folks house to my Husbands, to being a wife and a mother, depending on the DH and kids to be my happiness and friends too, and now 25 years later I am at a loss as to who I am , what I should be doing , what with the DH at work , the kids either out of the next or always at work and with friends and me not having anyone here as a friend.... but I have a few limitations from health and situation , you are younger and are basically getting a fresh start and I know this must be both scary and exciting!

    You are strong, I can already read between the lines that you will come out of this even stronger and make a wonderful new life for yourself and about yourself and one day you will find a love of your life that will like who you have become.

    Hang in there, and remember it is not co-dependent to look for support and hugs....we are here for you ! And as Khris said "We are here for you" ....When you are ready come back to us , post, jump right in to the March Fashion Challenge, there is still time and spend time around friends that love you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4209 days ago
    Amber- we've been missing you at the Style Diet team. Now I see why! We are here for you- whatever you need. You are strong and can get through this.
    4209 days ago
    Amber, Im so sorry your having to go through this! You are strong though and remember you have us to lean on. I know what you mean about being co-dependent. I am still with dh, but as you may or may not know, Im learning to be myself agin and finding that independance again. I hope you do as well. If you ever need to chat send me a spark message! Weve missed you! emoticon
    4209 days ago
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