Monday, March 23, 2009
I was invited on a trip to Miami! The room is paid for but I'll have to have spending money (lots probably, that place is expensive!). It's an girls weekend! I would normally have never even considered going but now that my life is a bit different, I think it will be fun! I haven't been on a girls vacation since I was 21 years old...that's almost 8 years ago! I won't know how to act!!
BUT...my fears and self esteem issues are already starting to bubble up. All the girls are wealthy, gorgeous, tall, thin, college grads, etc. My mind is already knocking me down with the "I'm not good enoughs"
Why do I do that to myself?! It's so unhealthy! I have a lot to be proud of! I've accomplished a lot in my lifetime and I've done it on my own - no help from mommy and daddy - no help from a guy! My career is prospering because I'm a dedicated, intelligent, go-getter and it is recognized my my peers - no college needed!!
Somehow I have to find a way to keep telling myself all of those things next weekend. I want to go! I want to have fun. I want to meet new people. I want to get dressed up and go out dancing! I can't let my fears stop me!!
So...until then, I'm eating right, hitting the gym and talking positively to myself! I will have fun. I will not care that I'm not a size 2. I am proud of me!