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What we tell ourselves and What we know

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hi Spark Friends,
Weigh in today shows I am at an official standstill for now. At least last week and this week. That is okay with me because I knew this could happen at some point. I am just going to begin sneaking up on my body and exercising a bit different now to move that ticker of mine. Hey, I am not going to complain because I know this happens to most all of us and I am grateful for the progress I have made. I will keep on trucking a long, (wow," trucking" that dates me!)LOL until it moves again.
I went to the orthodontist office today with my daughter and a tech there said to me "you've really lost a lot of weight" Then asked me how I did it. This morning I had an appointment with the lovely gynie (being sarcastic here) and the nurse said basically the same thing to me and asked the same question. Of course I give the entire spark people information out and spill all my enthusiasm out over how much I love this site and all the wonderful people here. I then just say I eat healthier and exercise. It really has made a huge difference for me. The support and encouragement and continued motivation come from all of you here. Then I listen closely to the responses. One said oh I can't eat this or that or I don't like this and I hate that ( All referring to healthy foods). The other said well I am eating less but eating whatever I want to. I can't give up my cake or my gravy and bacon and I hate exercise. Well guess what that said to me. It said they were not serious or ready to change to a healthy lifestyle and become healthier people. I know because I used to make those same comments. I was not only ready to make the changes but I lived in denial and lied to myself. I convinced myself that I had sleep apnea because it was a health problem a lot of people have and had nothing to do with my weight. In reality how many thin and healthy people do you actually know that have this condition? Probably none. It was a lie I told myself. Just like the one where I told myself my knees and back and joints hurt because I had something else wrong. It could not be my weight. Well I do have back issues and have had previous surgery for them. However guess what? When I lost a big portion of my weight, my back hurt less, my knees no longer hurt at all. The aches and pains I felt was my poor body screaming at me to please take that extra weight off of it. We all have a way of telling ourselves what we want to hear. It is sometimes easier to continue the abuse of ourselves if we don't acknowledge it. The only time I would acknowledge it would be when a warm day came and I would be all bummed out thinking oh no summer is here and I am so big I am embarrassed. Then maybe for a day, two or sometimes a week or two, I would make a few changes thinking I was really going to get thin. However, when it didn't work in my short time frame or I got bored or tired of the changes. I simply went back to lying to myself again. Making excuses, and living in my little world of denial. All the while torturing my body with all the extra weight and getting more and more unhealthy and out of energy. I now know that no matter how you get there or why you get there, you have to be ready and serious enough to commit to becoming a healthier person. You have to really want to be the best you can be and mean it. You have to do it for yourself. It took me many years to finally get to that point but I finally made it there and could not be happier or feel better. As enthusiastic as I am over this site (and I am), I am a thousand more times enthusiastic for all my spark friends to make this change happen for yourselves and to realize you are the ONLY one who can get it done. Imagine all your summers no longer worrying about being overweight, a ton of energy, feeling good about yourself and your appearance. But most importantly, being a healthy person. So many of you have made such AMAZING progress and I could not be happier for you. You WILL succeed! Those of you just starting out or those of you having second thoughts about this process, PLEASE, hang in there and continue moving forward towards your goal. Don't go backwards don't go back to living in denial and living with all that extra weight on your body. You deserve better! Your body deserves to be treated better and YOU are the only one that can do that. So I am going to continue rooting for you all and cheering you on as we all continue our journeys to become the best we can be . I want to share something with you that I will never forget and that means a lot to me. My dad passed on two years ago. He had surgery at one point and had to go to cardiac rehab. I used to think he was so cute in his little workout shirt they gave him at rehab. He wore it every time he went. I would pick him up and he would be in his shirt that all his fellow rehabers wore in the class. I'd say dad you look so cute in your t shirt and remember you gotta live by those words. He'd say to me, then why don't you wear it and go in my place. We would both laugh and continue on. When he passed on my mom gave me his shirt. She knew I loved seeing him in it. I loved what it said on the back and always said those words to him when he complained about going. That shirt means so much to me now and I can finally actually fit in it. I sleep in it a lot and always think of my dad when I take it out to put it on. I feel closer to him in it and it is a wonderful memory of a little fun we had about it and time we shared. I want to share the words on the back of the shirt he wore with you. Those words really inspire me and are actually key to what we are all doing here. The back of his shirt said:
"You've got to move to Improve"

So please let's not tell ourselves only what we want to hear but realize what we know and that is that we need to be healthier and that only YOU can make it happen!

Have a wonderful spark filled week my friends.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Donna, like always You know just what to say to us . You not only help yourself, but you really help us. Thank you so much for sharing. I loved your story about you dad. He raised a wonderful daughter just like him.
    I'm sure he was very proud of you, and is looking down smiling at you.
    Take care. Hugs...Mary
    4312 days ago
    Donna, what a wonderful blog. I love the experience you shared about your Dad and his T-Shirt. I am sorry you lost him, but you are celebrating his life by sharing that story.
    4312 days ago
  • LISA1316
    I always love reading your blogs...and they seem to come at a time when its something I really need to hear. I'm at a stand still with my weight too and its really buggin me. And right now I'm bored and really want to eat... emoticon I think its time for me to find something to do...like clean my room...lol! AWW I loved the lil story bout ur daddy....how cute is that? I bet you miss him alot...huh? Love u lots!

    4313 days ago
  • no profile photo CHANGE4FREEDOM
    Thanks Donna! As always a wonderful blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to post this. I really appreciate your enthusiasm to help all the rest of us working towards reaching the same level of success you have worked so hard for. You are a true inspiration and a valued Spark Friend.

    4315 days ago
    This is such an inspiration to me, and I thank you for putting it into such eloquent words.
    I'm new here, only 3 weeks, and it's finding success stories like yours that makes me think I've found the right place for me to go on this journey. Thank you!
    May I use your saying from your dad's shirt on my Spark Page as inspiration?
    Have a great day!!

    4315 days ago
  • LUMPY4117
    How true and awesome. It is nice when people notice our accomplishments and it makes you feel so good inside. I think it's awesome and very motivating to read that. AWESOME.. Keep pushing you are almost there and you can make it all the way. Awesome positive thinking. emoticon
    4315 days ago
    EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Thanks for posting this! (NTOL team)
    4315 days ago
  • BUSYBEE1000
    I've been searching for something lately, but didn't know what. You blog just clued me in to what it was. I've had my denial blinders on. I'm taking them off now.

    You write beautifully. emoticon
    4315 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2332407
    Wonderful Blog. Thanks
    4315 days ago
    Thank you. You are an inspiration!!
    4315 days ago
    Awesome blog. Being okay with the stall and even thinking on ways to change it up. You are an inspiration in your "never give up." I liked your catalog of denial. I know all about denial (that river in Egypt). But I also know it flows one way and once you get off, it has no charm to draw you back in, which you have illustrated beautifully.

    You rock my world.
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    4315 days ago
    What an awesome blog! emoticon I loved the story about your dad's t-shirt.. touching. "You've got to move to improve!" How true is that. I know what you mean when people ask you about what you've done to lose your weight. Even though I am just getting started people ask me... "What are you doing?" but.. they want a magic pill or instant diet success theory, not hard work or a life change. Until they are ready to commit to those processes, they will just continue to want a magic bullet. Shake up your routine and I'm sure you will get that scale to move... if not, you are probably in a reshaping phase. Enjoy your success! emoticon emoticon
    4315 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. Very encouraging.
    4315 days ago
    Great blog! Thanks.
    4315 days ago
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the blog. emoticon
    4315 days ago
    I enjoyed reading your blog. Thank you for sharing. Hope you have a great day.
    4315 days ago
    I loved your blog! It so reflects our life journey. We are not on a straight road, but one with many turns and detors. I also flet blessed that you shared the gift your Dad gave you. I will remember his slogan: You have to move to Improve! How true! Thanks for sharing!


    4315 days ago
    How true, how true. Thanks for sharing. And the people you talk to will continue to watch you and when they're ready - you'll know you played a part in them turning their lives around. What a blessing you are to others.
    4315 days ago
    This life journey is a windy, hilly road which is full of grass, sunshine, rocks, potholes. You are doing great even at a stand still, even with the lies we tell ourselves. Give yourself pats on the back for what you are doing and let go of the other stuff:)
    4315 days ago
    Congrats! Definitely switch up those workouts and surprise your body!
    4315 days ago
  • MRSAKINS2005
    Someone said the same thing ot me not too long ago. Hmmmm. Wonder who that was. Hehe. Yup. Just kick it up a notch and you'll be back to it in no time. You are great hun.
    4315 days ago
  • no profile photo SUGARBUGAR01
    Very well said. I get in a slump on occasion also but then I start to think where I could be and pull myself back up. Kick up the exercise or change things around and you will begin to lose again.

    4315 days ago
    Great blog! Makes me think...
    4315 days ago
    WOW, you are a 'spark-spiration'! Great job! emoticon
    4316 days ago
    isn't it funny to see how everyone always looks kinda fazed when you say you have just been eating healthy and exercising? at least that's what happens to me a lot. they usually say "uh ... that's nice, and good for you", but they look like they really expected you to spill some miracle diet to them.

    i love the story about your dad and his shirt. i think you should wear this shirt a lot on your way to getting even healthier! i am sure it would have made him so happy to see that. congrats on your huge success, and on your great attitude about that temporary standstill - you will reach your goals no matter what, because you know you can do it!
    4316 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4228914
    What I tell myself and what I know are pretty close to the same thing now days. Before I used to tell myself, "it's ok, you can start tomorrow" or "one time won't hurt you" when in reality I should have been telling myself "get off your butt now and do what you need to do"!!!

    I too see people now that I haven't seen since I was a mountain of blubber and the questions always come about what and how did you do it. Although I didn't start out with Spark People, (I had already been on a healthy lifestyle for 11 months) this web site has reinforced my good habits and organized my plan and given me new strategies for my nutrition. I always recommend it to anyone that asks me now. As a tool, I have used the part of the "Refer a Friend" from the Bonus/Milestone Points part of the My Spark Points page. I have utilized the business cards that they have there and printed up business cards with my spark people home page on it and pass it out to people now that ask me how I did it.

    I'm glad to read that you are holding your father dear and close to you. Wearing his shirt and being able to fit into it has to make you feel great! It makes me think of my situation. When Colleen was sick she would wear my tee shirts that I had grown out of a long time before...she would wear them to bed. I am now able to comfortably fit into those tee shirts again and often think that her last words are a continuing source of motivation to me. As her 50th birthday approaches this Friday she will have been gone for just about 2 1/2 years. She isn't really gone. Her love for me lives on and her final resting place is not in the cemetery, but in my heart.
    4316 days ago
    What a great blog!!! It's very encouraging, supportive and so very truthful. Thank You so much for sharing the story of you and your dad. It was very touching and brought back the wonderful memories I had with my dad.

    You have a great week also!!!
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    4316 days ago
    What an awesome blog tonight!!!

    I love it when people ask me how I'm loosing the weight. I'm the same way about cheering for SP all the way. Funny how everyone who joins here could be a spokesperson for them! So cool... and how everyone FINALLY REALLY gets it about the healthy lifestyle once they join. I'm the same way when people say things like they 'can't give up this" or "they don't have time" or... whatever. That tells me they're not serious about it. That they're not putting themselves or their loved ones at a high enough priority in their lives to make loosing weight as important as it should be. Though sometimes I wonder if it's more about not being ready than not being serious. I guess it depends on the person. Either way, I think they just don't truly understand! Until they do... and they decide to act on it, than it's not gonna happen for them.

    I only know one person with sleep apnea... my sister-in-law... and she's REALLY, REALLY overweight!

    I understand about the knees though I've never had that trouble myself. I have a cousin that's supposed to have surgery. Doc said he can't until she looses a LOT of weight first. I told her... the problem is your weight, but she doesn't agree. In the mean time she's stuck in leg braces now & then.

    That world of denial that we all live in for so long is a safe place sometimes and that's why we don't want to leave it. We're afraid of change, and the denial helps keep us safe... except that it doesn't because our health is at risk from the weight.

    I love your whole blog tonight. If I didn't know better I would think you were writing about me! So much of the story and the journey you've taken sounds like me. For years, I was in denial blaming it on my depression. Then finally I realized I had to fix me... NO one else could do it... or would do it! It's MY journey and ONLY I can take it, and it HAS to be taken ALONE! The best you can ask for is support from a 'cheering team' along the way.

    I love the story about your Dad. It's a very moving story.
    4316 days ago
    This is a great blog Donna, and it is called Excuses!
    4316 days ago
    What a great blog! It is nice to see someone know exactly how I have felt. Thanks so much for writing this
    4316 days ago
    That is a spectacular blog. You are entirely correct. You are the only one that can make that choice to change your life. I am trying to sneak up on mine and throw it off even now. I am so happy you fit into your fathers' shirt now, I am sure it's very comforting to you.

    4316 days ago
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