Been away for a while *sigh*
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Again, I lost my swing. No excuses. My aunt is in her last stage of lung & brain cancer, so I have been spending time at her hospital bed side. She is so drugged up due to her pain I don't even know if she knows I am there, but it is the only place I know to be. The last thing, until today, on my mind, has been weight loss & my new lifestyle. The stress of watching my aunt, whom I am close to, die before my very eyes, has added 4 pounds onto the 10 I had lost. I am back at 166 pounds now & very upset with myself. Hospital food isn't diet friendly, I have learned.
Today I am home, have been all day, & it is warm outside today. Therefore I put away the sweatshirt & put on a tee shirt & capris. (the only pair I could find to fit me!) Looked in the mirror & wanted to cry. How am I gonna feel comfortable on the golf course with these bulges?? Grrrr! So, I immediately picked up a 20 ounce bottle of water & started drinking. I have let that habit go & been drinking way too much pop. So, I have been drinking water today & I hope to get on my bike when my baby naps.
I just do not know how to find my motivation again when I am so depressed. I know my aunt was supportive of my weight loss goals when she was coherant, & she would want me to stay the course, so I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I have to log in here everyday & find a friend to help keep me in line. That is really what I need to make this happen. A friendly push!!! Any takers, please, by all means, speak up! lol Just a once a day kick or question of what I did activity wise & what my diet was like. I don't like to dissappoint others so having a buddy is nice through it all.
Well, my baby is crying for me so I have to log off but I wanted to say, I logged in, I thought about my weight today, & I know I need to get back with the program & stay so I can fit my cute summer clothes!!! It is just around the corner! Ack!