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Sunday, April 05, 2009

I am having serious trouble with my daughter right now she tried to kill herself friday which has led to a very hard weekend. I am praying for her which is all that I can do right now because she does not want to talk to me right now. She hates my new husband however could not wait for us to get married I am really at a loss for what to do other than pray for her. I would do anything for my daughter but she does not seem to want my help right now what would jesus do? what would you do?
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    I struggled with depression throughout all my teenage years, and made a number of suicide attempts before getting well again.

    Here is what my parents did right: They got me MEDICAL help as soon as possible - a doctor and a psychologist are the people who can really help your girl, you cannot fix her yourself. They trusted what professionals had to say and were willing to participate actively in my therapy and recovery. They accepted that they couldn't protect me from myself, and gave me the tools I needed to heal and recover. They accepted that it was a medical, inherited, condition - and instilled the belief in me that it wasn't a personal flaw. They helped me take stock of the things in my life - commitments to school, sports, extra-curriculars and were supportive in my deciding to simplify my life instead of feeling that I wasn't doing all I could.

    Things I wish they'd done differently: Not blamed themselves for what was happening with me. It wasn't their fault and although they made mistakes, we made them together and we healed together. I knew it was a journey and I wish they could have allowed themselves to screw up once in a while without going to pieces. Not tried to shelter me from all external forces and allowed me to return to life on my own terms when I was ready. They needed to allow me to fail sometimes so that I could learn to take good care of myself, not over extend myself. Not been so serious about it. Sometimes they acted like it was this big, dramatic secret, and it made me feel like it was a bigger deal then it was. I wish we could have been more open and honest about it.

    What I'm trying to say is don't try to handle this on your own. There are tons and tons of resources out there. I felt like no one understood me - now I realize my parents definitely struggled to get what I was going through. But that didn't make them bad parents! We got through it successfully because we accepted that I was hurting myself because I was sick, and acted instead of shutting the reality of the situation away.

    You have the strength to face this, by relying on your husband, and with prayer if that helps you. If you believe in god, He is certainly there for you in these times, and will help you find the strength to confront these difficult and tender issues.

    Love to you and your daughter. Let her find peace and comfort from you.
    4346 days ago
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