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Think I'll Give It A Try...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

So I found out earlier in the week that my place of employment has decided to do an in-office Biggest Loser Contest. It definitely caught my attention right away, yet I wasn't quite sure I could do this. It would mean someone in our building would know what I currently weigh and weight the entire duration...and well that kinda bothers me I suppose. Then there is the question of how much of a goal I want to place on myself...and the dreaded "what if's." What if I couldn't meet my goal...what if I fell off the wagon...what if I gave up...what if I don't meet my goal and I feel worse in the end...and so many others. I've found myself thinking about this contest everyday since I found out about it.

I think it would be fun to take part in, with the folks I work with, I mean, we are all very caring and close knit because we work for a non-profit working with low-income individuals. We all just seem to click with one another and we all support each other through all the difficult moments we each may encounter. So I don't think anyone would put another down, which is good to know. And I really think we would all be supporting each other, regardless of our goals, and in the end it would be less a competition, and more of a support system. I guess my drawback is just knowing I have to share my current weight with someone in our building, which I am sure sounds crazy.

How our contest would work is there is one individual in the building who handles all the weigh-ins and tracking every week. It will run from Tuesday, May 19th up till the day before Labor Day (since we are off on Labor Day). Which I sat and figured out to be like 16 weeks or so. So that isn't too bad, right? Gives me 16 weeks to make my goal, so I like that part of it. Each Tuesday we weigh-in and in the end the winner receives a prize of some sort. And it only costs $2.00 per person to sign up. So it all sounds awesome to me...I guess I'm just having a hard time keeping the negative thoughts out of my head at this point.

I was thinking a goal of 30lbs. it would equal out to about 2lbs a week, so I probably could do that. I am just afraid I won't be able to meet it in the end. I mean, it has taken me 4 months to lose 17lbs. But I will admit that in those 4 months I had some down moments. Moments where the household has been sick, and moments of stress where I ate very little, moments where I would skip breakfast, and then there's the dreaded Mt. Dew addiction I've been battling. So I know all of these things played a part in me only losing 17lbs. in a 4 month span. I know that if i put my entire mind to it, I could kick those 30lbs and possibly more...but what-if I can't? Will I feel awful in the end because I'll feel like I failed? Will it cause me to want to give up? I just have so many questions running through my head I suppose.

My immediate co-worker and my boss all think I should give this a shot because they know I've been trying on my own. They both think I have what it takes to meet whatever goal I put in place for myself...so that definitely helps! So yesterday my immediate co-worker informed me I could still sign-up if I would want to. I had missed the actual sign-up date because I was home with an ill child. So before leaving work yesterday to pick up my same ill child from school early, I asked her to let the head of the challenge to know that I plan to sign-up and weigh-in on Tuesday since that is there next weigh-in date. I didn't want to do it Friday and then have to weigh-in again on Tuesday...was afraid I'd see an increase in weight and get discouraged, ya know? So, with all this being said, I think I am just going to go for it. What do I have to lose but this excess weight! And I could certainly stand to lose it!

I know that losing 17lbs. has made a huge change to my attitude and the way I view myself...so to be able to lose 30lbs. would certainly boost the ole self-esteem, right?? :) I figure if I were to lose 30lbs. it would put me at 288! That is so under those 300's!!! It would also put me at 11lbs. away from being the weight I was before and having my twins 6 years ago! And if I could pull off these 30lbs. then there'd be no reason as to why I couldn't pull off more, right?? I can't help but think the timing on this is so right for me, ya know? I've been trying so much this year to kick this weight problem of mine, and this just so falls in line with that! I know that when I weighed 277lbs. I was wearing a size 26 pants, might have even been a size 24 jeans...and right now i'm between a size 30 or 32 depending on how they are made. And I was wearing a size 18/20 or 22/24 top, again depending on how they were made. And right now I'm between a size 22/24 or 26/28...sometimes I'll even wear a size 30/32 because I have this ideal that I must wear a size bigger then I need to hide it all, ya know? Would be nice to get back into some clothes I'd written off, ya know??

So, with all of this being said.....I think I'll Give It A Try After all!!!

No....scratch that....I WILL Give It A Try After all!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MAUI005
    I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!!! :)

    I know it's hard to share this journey. I HATE telling people what I weigh! I'm very fortunate... even though I'm 295 pounds I wear a 18/20 shirt and 20 in pants.... it's weird how that works out. I'm just big, and very fit, so I'm pretty muscular. When I was 240 pounds I was wearing a size 14! Crazy!

    But you're looking at this the right way. What do you have to lose? WEIGHT! That's it! :) And it is baby steps. I just focus on my short term goals. Right now, my goal is 290. After that, it'll be 285.. and so on and so forth. Don't look too far ahead or it can be SO overwhelming. You are doing wonderfully. Life gets in the way sometimes but the important thing is that you KEEP GOING!
    4289 days ago
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