Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I don't Blog very often - I've never been one to keep a journal or a diary even though I've tried and I know that there are some really good psychological benefits to them. I prefer the interactive communication styles like talking face to face, even email or IM or Message Boards - where I get some feedback versus just jotting things down in a "journal" where people may or may not see it.... but that tends to leave a lot of things unsaid, a lot of thoughts just in my head where they float around for sometimes years, until suddenly the thoughts develop a life of their own and come pouring out. You are now going to see some of that!
OK, so I work in IT and I make pretty good money at it. I don't hate it but I also don't love it. I don't jump out of bed looking forward to facing the challenges of a new day. Maybe in the beginning I did but no longer I'm sad to say. In January of this year I finally went to see a Physchologist because I was feeling rather dissastisfied with life and a bit on the depressed side. I've been despressed before, when I first had my daughter. I was on antidepressants and seeing a LISW who really helped me out. I know that talk therapy is a wonderful way to help people approach the difficulties they have in life which is why I went to the psychologist in
January thru March. I even posted about one of the books he had me reading but I never did update anyone any further on how all of that went. He wanted me to start really thinking about where I saw myself in 5 years, to write that Christmas Letter of te future updating everyone on my life.... Unfortunately, I ran out of money to pay him so I had to stop going.
But I also think that I was afraid to face the realities of what I want out of life. Figuring that out is scary because what happens if you can never figure it out? What if you think you figured it out and you were wrong? But if you're right, once you figure it out what do you do? What if fail? ARGGHHH - LOL. So I stopped.
And the thoughts floated around my head and they'd come to the forefront every now and then and I'd notice them and tuck them away where no one would get hurt, especially me :) From time to time for the last year I'd take a few minutes and google some information but nothing would really click... However, lately, these thoughts haven't been able to be tucked away much longer. All I know is that I have this overwhelming sense that I need to be doing something different.
Then yesterday, on an impulse, I did a google search and suddenly this job came up that I thought sounded perfect... a Nutritionist/Registered Dietician, for a health club, that would work with clients, conduct seminars, and the kicker is that if you are a Personal Trainer mores the better! What a great combination I thought to myself.
This thought was really perculating in my head all the rest of yesterday. So today I googled again. In the past I had had a hard time finding the information I wanted or needed about what good schools, what programs, etc. were offered to get a degree in Nutrition and become a Registered Dietician. But as luck would have it when I googled Ohio State University and Degree in Nutrition I hit it on the first try. I read the information and said bingo! I'm not ready to go to school just yet, I have some unfinished financial issues lingering from my marriage & subsequent divorce, that will take me through the end of this year. And I will need to save my money so I can afford the internship as I'm sure that doesn't pay much. It doesn't pay as well as what I do but it's not about the money anymore. It really isn't!
So am I crazy? How many possible degrees can one person get? I have a BA in Theater & Dance, BS in CIS, a Masters in Information Systems Management and now I want to do it all over again on a a totally different path?
Can I really survive the paycut? Can I balance my current work, home, fitness and go to school? Can I handle the paycut without losing my house?
See - I can drive myself insane can't I? I have only Sparkpeople to thank for having started me on this path...LOL ok, really, I have myself to thank since I put myself on the path in the first place, but without Sparkpeople I never would have been able to stay on this path at all. I know that my passions lie elsewhere - they are no longer here in the IT world...
What do you all think?