Yikes! I'm a blogger
Thursday, August 06, 2009
So, I finally got my SparkPage done - only took me a little over 4 months! But here I am writing my first blog less than 24 hours later, so I guess I'm showing some improvement in my procrastination.
Actually, I never would have considered myself a procrastinator; I always thought I was pretty good about getting things accomplished. I'm realizing that's not necessarily the case - there's plenty of stuff I put off. Looking at why i accomplish some goals and not others I think I've found the differentiator. I procrastinate starting the efforts I'm afraid I will fail at.
Fear of failure - that's a huge roadblock for me. I wasn't necessarily afraid of developing my webpage, but it's a SparkPage which is tied to weight loss, which is something I've been very afraid of failing to accomplish. After all, I've already failed at it several times.
Procrastination is a way of assuming failure; of saying to yourself "I'll never complete this journey, so what's the sense in starting it?" With food, I find I often justify my actions by placing a condition on the start date - like "I can't go on a diet right before the Holidays. I'll start in January." Then it's Kathryn's birthday, then it's Valentines day with all that candy...it's always something. I'm not really failing because I haven't started trying. Fear of failing - a powerful emotion.
Maybe the real problem I have is that I need a new definition of failure. I read a quote from Mary Pickford (which is on my page) in which she opines that failure isn't falling - it's failing to get back up. That resonated with me. If we don't even try, we're always doomed to failure.
I had a friend who used to tell me to develop a tolerance for failure, and I'm beginning to understand that concept much better. Its so easy to say "I failed - I'm done!" But success lies in acknowledging the failure, treating it as a temporary mistake, and continuing on with the journey.
So, no more procrastinating on this journey - the one to better health through better choices and accountability. If I fail, if I fall, I'll just get back up and start again. After all, I just completed my first blog and I never really thought I'd do that!