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#43: Do You Have A Self-Destructive Attitude?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Some people allow their thinking to sabotage their fitness success and their happiness. Are you one of them?

It should be a slam-dunk belief that people who begin a journey to better health or some other life-altering transformation truly want to succeed. But talk to some of them and read their blogs and posts and it becomes clear that there seems to always be a reason for their failure or for their lack of motivation.

The impression is that they have a feeling deep inside their gut, an uneasy feeling that seems to overshadow their present with questions of “yes, but?” and “what if”? It is as though thoughts of success permeate their thoughts and fill them with visions of doom.

It’s almost a self-destructive paranoia that causes some people to create scenario’s to undermine their own happiness.

I used to work with a guy who always seemed to have an excuse for not doing something to improve his life. Whether it was finally getting his life's papers in order, cleaning out his garage or decluttering his house, when the next week came and I asked about his progress, all that was offered were excuses for why nothing was accomplished. It seemed he was happier with the status quo than with what his life would have been like if he had actually done what he said he was going to do.

I finally came to realize that he was one of many people who enjoy talking about what they are going to do rather than actually doing something. It's like politicians who promise all sorts of things "once they're elected" rather than telling the public what they are actually 'doing' today.

At first I thought it was just this particular co-worker who had this self-defeating attitude, but I've since run across many others. Not the ones who legitimately have an injury and are unable to exercise or who go over their daily calorie allotment due to tremendous stress. Those can be viewed as valid reasons for maintaining instead of losing. No, this isn't about them.

It's about the people who, it seems, always have an excuse why they failed. It was too hot to exercise, or too cold, or "I didn't feel well" or a myriad of other reasons why they did not achieve success.

If you are one of these people and you’re going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy, why not create a positive one? Take an approach that will allow you to continually test or challenge your belief that today is better than tomorrow can be. Fight that thinking and picture how much better you'll feel when that garage is cleaned out or when you lose two pounds or five or 50. Think about how good it will feel when you fit comfortably into those skinny jeans you've been looking at.

Force yourself to picture a better life when you accomplish even small, tiny baby step goals. When you feel the urge to make excuses, write down one way your life will be better if you achieve your goal. Breaking this self-destructive, complacent attitude will be difficult, but not so difficult that you can't overcome it.

Make your life a positive one. If you do, success can be yours and you WILL feel better about yourself. A clean garage and a healthier you or the same old, same old you that you are today.

It's your choice.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Reminds me of a popular song by Matthew West called "Going through the motions." In it, doesn't want to get to the end of the day and have to ask himself: What if I had given every thing instead of going through the motions? Negativity keeps us in that place of wallowing instead of pressing forward. Thanks for addressing this important issue, Lou.
    4219 days ago
    When I feel overwhelmed with too much on my "to do "list, I can get froze and will not get nothing done! A couple of sayings help me get unblocked. I repeat them to myself when I feel I am getting bogged down. " If it is going to be-It is up to me." , "I can't do everything at once, but I can do something.", also "No Excuses".

    Thanks for another great blog Lou.
    4220 days ago
    No more excuses...I'm heading out to clean the garage right now!!! LOL I am also choosing a healthier me...

    Wishing you a day filled with good choices!

    4220 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/11/2009 11:52:34 AM
    Thank you for this! Time to start living and to stop making excuses!!!
    It is my choice and I need to start making the right one!!
    Thanks again!
    Take Care!
    4220 days ago
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