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Open Letter to Vandal

Friday, September 04, 2009

Hey Vandal,

First of all, BARF emoticon emoticon about you being the king! I knew you WAY BACK WHEN before the Pedestal!!! emoticon BUT: Makambo is right on in her comments, (except for the KING business, of course....would she be willing to grant me the equal title of QUEEN TG!?)


It's interesting that Makambo also identifies herself as a "giver" because psychologically a lot of overweight people give, give, give and "stuff" their own feelings with food. Just something to think about.

Vandal, you and I have been very successful so far. I don't think anyone would say otherwise, with your 50+ pounds and my 20+ pounds. We're not to our goal yet by any means, but we've been successful and are well on our way. I have no doubt that we'll get there.

But: at this minute we are both at the same point: frustrated; tired of working so hard, the program's getting stale, too many other things going on, MAJOR stress at work. So, as a result of the advice I got yesterday on my own blog, my goal for the next month or so is just to maintain my weight. THAT TOO IS A SKILL, WORTHY OF PRACTICE.

We have to do this for a lifetime, so there really isn't any race to lose it. We MUST learn to manage stress and learn when to back off and when to kick it back into gear. The worst thing we can do is burn out and give up completely. So what's wrong with giving ourselves a sabbatical? I mean -- really?

Makambo is so right--cut yourself some slack! You don't have to be the big hero with a 5 pound weigh loss every week. You don't always have to prop up everyone else. This is a very emotional journey, even for A GUY. We appreciate your honesty and the opportunity to support you in your own struggle. We don't want this to be ONE MORE PLACE that you have to be performing at your peak.

You call it "the darkside", but why? Why cannot you learn to give in a little without going over completely? If you PLAN your indulgences, and get back on track immediately afterward, how can that be the "dark side?" (See Makambo's blog.)

You need to figure this out on your own, and I know you will. This is my 2 cents worth. I do want you to know that we support you and will see you through. You'll get there too.

TG emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    OK! OK! You are THE queen... I just forgot to mention it! emoticon
    You are absolutely right... this is not a competition. It is a lifetime commitment! As I was reading Vandal's comments to your blog, it struck me that he was talking about "control". I will have to blog about this issue because I have been analyzing it for many years...!

    I am glad you decided to take a breather from your competition with Vandal... I think it is a very healthy attitude.

    4104 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4357551
    Thanks for the letter TG. You and Makambo make a lot of sense but then you always do!!

    I can feel myself changing and actually being more open and actually paying attention to and about my feelings thanks to this blogging. My biggest frsutration is that I'm just not very good at handling something that I believe I should or can control and then don't.

    You and Makambo are right - I will get there and I know this is probably "my time of the month" and it will pass.

    Thanks for being there for me.


    4105 days ago
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