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#91: Coping with Rejection

Monday, September 28, 2009

One thing that contributes to weight gain is rejection. When combined with an already weak ego, rejection can be devastating. So, how do we cope when someone takes us to task for what they perceived as a slight?

Yesterday I posted a blog comparing stray cats and dogs with people. Actually, the comparison mentioned that I thought there had to be a sort of animal mental telepathy psychic hotline that draws strays to certain homes and not to others. Then I used the same phrase regarding people being drawn to SparkPeople where they are cared for and supported.

Later, I read a profile page and believed the member would be a nice fit for a group I lead. She rejected the invitation because she thought I was being blasphemous by talking about psychics. In consideration, I deleted the phrase from the blog and posted a comment explaining why I did so. Then she and I exchanged pleasant emails.

Still, the rejection stung. Not the failure of the invitation; there are many similar groups and everyone can't join them all, rather it was being accused of something that was not my intent. I wanted to assuage my feelings by eating. Sound familiar? Emotional eating is the downfall of many otherwise successful eating plans.

Instead, I turned on upbeat music and did upper body exercises. Oh, yes, I wanted to eat, but then was blessed to have two new members join the group. Two! I spent time greeting them and soon found myself feeling as upbeat as the music.

I think that is part of the appeal of the SparkPeople site, that we can extend ourselves to others when we do not feel our best and in return receive their words of encouragement and inspiration.

Now, I must ask how you handle rejection? How does it affect your eating program? How do you cope?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MARYSUPPORTS
    I always take rejection personal, and it leads to bad things, like depression and over eating. But SP is helping me get past this.
    4171 days ago
  • HAPPYWRITER7
    So happy for you Lou! It was great that you took those feelings and turned them into a calorie burning session! That is so great. I'm still fighting my emotional eating, but it somehow feels different than last week.
    As for how I deal with rejection? It seems I'm learning everyday that I dont really deal with rejection at all. That would actually take an entire blog to explain! I just might do that. I'm glad you were about to turn what couldve been a negative into a positive.

    4171 days ago
  • YATMAMA
    GOOD for you, Lou! I have to tell you, my dander was up on your behalf over this one. I know your heart and your intent. It is only and always for the good of this team and the welfare of its members. I am so proud of you for handling things the way you did. BRAVO!! Oh, how sweet God's grace is. It truly sustains us!!
    4172 days ago
  • TRUFFLE5
    I used to hurt inside, with pain festering for hours. Now, I would just go for a jog and forget about it. Unless it was someone I cared about, that would sting a lot more. So more laps would be needed.
    4172 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    Great post
    I handle it by mumbling about for a few minutes then I go on my way! But then again, it depends on who rejects me. If it is a stranger, then I can only ask God to show me if it was something I did and to help me to see that next time I talk to a stranger. But if it is a friend or family member, it can sometimes be very painful. Now back in my old life, I would have found many bad and destructive ways to deal with it. Now I take it to God, workout or I take a nice long brisk walk! Rejection is a part of life. Not a good one but one we have to deal with everyday,but it also has a flip side and that side is acceptance. You were blessed to have two people accept your invite and teo out of three is not bad!

    Have a blessed day my Brother in Christ
    Bro Greg
    4172 days ago
  • PEPPERLEAH
    Facing rejection is something I have spent a lifetime doing. Obviously, most of those years of rejection were dealt with by turning to food. Lots of food. If I had handled things differently, I wouldn't be here today.

    But now, I realize that turning to food is to sabotage myself. I try to "blow it off", by breathing in to the count of four heart beats, then blow the breath out to the count of four heart beats. It sounds a little silly, but it works most of the time, especially if I THINK about it this way...blow it off, blow it off...

    Also, I try to remember that no matter how careful we try to be in things we do and say, there are people who will mis-interpret things. That is not placing fault on anyone in praticular; it just happens. But when you know you have done things out of a pure heart, putting God first in all things, you can just let it go and give it to Him. Remember what God says about you.

    Be blesswed;
    Leah
    4172 days ago
  • DEGODDESS
    I know what you mean...even the most well-intentioned comment could be mis-contrued. Sorry you felt slighted and congratulations on your two new members. Good luck to you and thanks for posting.
    4172 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.