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#107: Are People Generally Unhappy?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why are people generally so negative?

Doesn't it seem that the truly happy person is the exception and not the rule?

Is it because our lives do not match up with our visions of what LIFE should be?

I will admit right off that I do not have the answer. Neither have psychologists over the decades or historians over the ages. I am simply posing the question and wondering what your thoughts are.

We're taught that physically it is supposedly easier to smile than to frown, but a smile appears to make others suspect we're up to something.

Not every time of course and not in every situation. But often enough that a curious person has to wonder why so many people seem so unhappy so often. Whether the reason is financial, emotional or physical, most people are not happy, or so it appears by their facial expressions and their language.

Do you have thoughts on the matter?

Your insights might enhance someone's mood if you'd care to share your ideas.

So, why do you think people generally are so unhappy? Or does it simply appear to be this way?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think it is simply easier to be unhappy. All you have to do is NOTHING. People can sit around, not get an education, not work hard, not eat right, not exercise, not do anything good, and do all the bad things because they are easy and when they look at where they are they can blame the all-mighty OZ for their life not going right.

    4156 days ago
    I think a lot of it is worry. It's hard to smile when you are worried.

    If only more people would place their worries in God's hands and then trust him to handle it for them, you would see more smiles.

    4156 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/15/2009 6:25:46 AM
    People are as happy as they make up their mind to be. It is a attitude. Happiness should not be based on circumstances. If you wait for your life to be perfect , to be happy, then you will never be happy . Be happy today! No matter what your circumstances are. Have a positive outlook on life. Choose to be happy!

    Now smiling is another subject. Don't assume someone is sad because they are not smiling. They may have a lot on their minds at the moment and sometimes it is hard to smile when you are in serious thought. Also don't assume someone is happy because they smile, it could be a nervous happy. As we age gravity can make us look sad when we really are not. Some people were raised to look serious and others have no problems with reflecting on the outside what they feel on the inside.

    I come from a family of joyful people and we don't have any taboos about smiling ,it is a natural thing for us to do, but I find that Men often mis-interpret a women's smile as being interested in him . When I am tired I have a harder time smiling,even when I am feeling really happy. So smiles or lack of smiles can be easy to mis-interpret. If you want to know if someone is a happy person then spend sometime talking to them and you will find out.

    You can be a happy person and not be happy with areas of your life. You can be of a happy disposition while you go about working on area's of your life you are not happy with. It is good to be unhappy with areas of your life that you want to improve because that leads to change. You can be unhappy with area's of your life and still be a upbeat person who tackles your problems with a positive attitude.

    After reading the post here I guess some people are raised not to reflect how they feel and keep a straight face. They should take up poker. LOL Just kidding. Joy
    4156 days ago
  • LINDA25427
    Happiness comes from within ones self if you are a happy outward person happiness surrounds you if misery is your forte and you frown upon everything and everyone and judge them you will remain unhappy all your days until you change your way of thinking . hope you have a great week . God bless. emoticon
    4156 days ago
    I agree with TLN-NOW. I am pretty much an up-beat person. Call me weird, but I actually like people, so I smile at people. God did not promise me happiness, but He has given me peace & joy and I know whatever I face I have him to go thru it with me.

    I have also been told that my family has a weird sense of humor, finding something to smile about thru trials & tribulations helps us to continue. Our family has been thru many hard times, we have made it thru each time.

    Also, I hate drama, just say no! is my motto!
    4156 days ago
    A very interesting question, Lou. It has been my experience that when people are happy, they do smile. At least they do not usually appear to be frowning. I have noticed that many of the poeple in the area I live in absolutely THRIVE on drama and trauma. And, without their daily crisis, they truly wouldn't know what to do.

    I do think that we must choose whether we want to be happy and joyful, or not. Things come up all the time, and we do talk about them. But to continually dwell on negative and unpleasant things can only bring people down. I am not sure why some people are generally unhappy. I will try to help, if I can. I just know that for me, I prefer to be around the happy people as much as possible.
    4156 days ago
  • JURI62
    This is interesting..I am often told to smile, but I feel I am smiling..why doesn't that shine through?..maybe it's the same for others as well. Just remember we are not responsible for others attitudes, only our own.
    4157 days ago
    I had to laugh at MJ's response:
    "Most of your English are on the stoic side. I am one of them. People tell me to smile, and I tell them, if I do, then people would think I am a bit wacky."

    I was engaged to a man from England for a while. He said his employees got him a little sign on a popsicle stick to keep in his breast pocket. It had a smiley face on one side, and a frowny face on the other. They hoped he'd use if to help them determine his mood.

    While we walked around London, he stopped and told me I wasn't allowed to smile at, let alone look directly at people on the Underground. Once we were walking by a painter backing down a ladder and he and I caught each other in a glance and I said (an apparently cheery California) Hello and smiled. As I caught up to my boyfriend, he said, "Now he just thinks your 'simple'".

    LOL...guess that's ME!
    4157 days ago
    Wow, TLN. You have educated me. It never occurred to me that someone might be offended by such an attempt to cheer them up and put a smile on their face. I am ever astounded by how drastically our culture differs from a British influence. I've a friend in NZ and that influence is all permeating in his life. Our opinions on social issues of every sort are wildly different.
    4157 days ago
    Some people have expressions of stoic, either genetics, or background. Most of your English are on the stoic side. I am one of them. People tell me to smile, and I tell them, if I do, then people would think I am a bit wacky. It's when they act it out, then they are unhappy. I am not. I do have my moments, but then even my unhappy look, is different. lol, can't explain it, just my take on it! MJ BTW people shouldn't ask people to smile, if they are not, it's very rude, and some resent it. emoticon
    The cat is an example, lol.

    Loved your answers TLN-NOW! Your like the cat.
    4157 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2009 5:54:15 PM
    I was just thinking about that theory that frowning takes more effort than smiling, and it may. But, I don't think most people make the effort to actually 'frown'. I think we get preoccupied and relax our facial muscles...and well...the older we get....the more gravity has its way with our relaxed faces!

    On this site, I find myself seeking out positive people/blogs, and avoiding , honestly depressing ones. I feel for the down hearted, and we all have bouts, but I can't purposely douse myself with negative vibes on a regular basis. It wears me out. I sure don't want to do that to other people either. I've just decided that it's hard enough to keep myself "up", without taking on a new friend that 'constantly' needs to be propt up, too. I hope that doesn't sound TOO insensative, but we are responsible for our own happiness, aren't we? I dont' expect anyone else to 'fix' me/my problems.

    Personally, I think of myself as a more upbeat person, having been called Pollyanna on more than one occasion. My old boss walks by me almost everyday and says "Hello, Sunshine". I have a lot of the same problems everyone else has, but it doesn't do any good to dwell on them unneccessarily. I'll address them on my own time, asking for support occassionally, but being responsible for myself and my attitude. I'd rather give my friends and aquaintences a smile than a frown!

    Besides, I like people thinking I'm 'up to' something!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4157 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2009 5:53:50 PM
    Because people don't realize that happiness isn't a destination. Happines is the voyage.

    Happines is a choice and you need to choose to be happy.

    Regards of your problems they will still be there regardless of happy or sad.

    Happiness is an attitude! At least that is my take on it.


    4157 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2009 5:19:27 PM
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