#111: A New Beginning
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Today is the new beginning I've been searching for.
For lunch a grilled cheese sandwich sounded tasty. So I made two of them. Why, when I knew inside I'd eat both of them and then feel miserable about myself and my failure to exert self-control? I'm not sure why but I did and ate both of them. A miserable feeling amid my self-loathing followed.
But then the old fire began burning. I washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen and donned my gym shoes. The treadmill beckoned. It was tough at first. I have severe bone spurs in both heels and deteriorated discs in my lower back. I may physically pay for the exercise later but at the time I felt energized by the thought of burning off some of the excess lunch.
Total calories gone: 355, more than one sandwich.
Many years ago I had a trick I used while jogging on the track. No matter how far I'd run, if I passed the track's half-way mark, I'd make myself jog that last half lap. Many times it was a very slow jog, but I always felt mentally tough afterwards and a great number of times I was able to continue even further, although at the half-lap mark I thought I had no reserves left.
In the recent past, injuries have limited the aerobics and new medications have contributed to weight gain. But, after today's episode, I again feel energized and mentally tough. Perhaps it's the endorphins talking, but I don't think so.
Isn't it amazing how epiphanies hit us? After languishing for the last three months I feel that I am finally back on track, mentally and physically.
To hold me to it, I'll commit to regular updates on the "new" journey.
May I ask you to help me stay the course?