Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Getting started is always easy. Buy a kitchen full of healthy foods, find the right support groups, buy videos and exercise gear, its all pretty simple. Then comes the part where you have to actually work at it. That is the part I am not good at. I can get all excited about something but I have a hard time following through. Then there are the stumbling blocks that always seem to trip me up. Once I fall I have a very hard time getting back up.
The first stumbling block has come in the form of being too busy. I am a busy person and sometimes I get very overwhelmed. Between work, school, and the kids I do not get much me time as it is. The thought of adding exercise makes my head spin. I get so busy that I fall into bed at night and just pray that time will stop for a few hours so I can get some sleep. Then I get so overwhelmed by everything I just stop and do not do anything. I may spend the weekend sitting and watching television or movies. I might even read a book and spend two hours in the tub. Then the week starts again and I look at my calendar and dive in head first. Though I am busy, much of what I do does not include physical activity. I sit at a desk most days, others I am in my car most of the day driving from one home or school to the next to do visits. Then I go to class two nights a week and sit for two and a half hours behind a desk and take notes. Then there are the kids activities which involve driving and walking short distances to pick them up from dance, chess, piano, UIL, and various activities. At home I must cook and somewhat clean the house but those are not very physical. Then I fall into bed dead tired and realize physically I have done nothing.
The next stumbling block that consistently trips me is depression. I do not take much time for myself, this includes spending quality time with my husband and kids. I multi-task and try to get some homework in or catch up online while having "family movie night" or I talk to my mom while we are in the car on our way to and from various family activities. When I am with my family my mind is whirling with the other things that need to be done and I never really take a break and just relax. I am sure everyone here has this same problem. I become so depressed because I do not spend time on myself and then I really do nothing but eat and sleep for a day or two.
Finally, there is this new issue that I am faced with. It is the left over Halloween candy. That giant monster hidden deep in my cabinets that calls my name every night. I went over board this year. Last year I had so many trick-or-treaters I gave out my kids candy as well as what I had bought and then turned off my light by 9 o'clock. We moved to a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood and I thought we would get at least as many kids come by. I guess because the area is still being developed not many people thought to come down that way. I had 12 kids! Now I am left with all of this candy that is constantly calling my name. I am strategizing how to get rid of this monster, donating some to the youth group at church, freezing some for later, making goodie bags for my kids classes.
These are all just excuses, I know that. I must find a way around my personal demons and make choices for myself. That is why I am setting a new goal. I am working out this goal right now but will post it later.