In the line of duty
Friday, November 06, 2009
Its been a rough week and I am trying hard not to fall into old habits and eat or drink away any progress made. its been a 120 hour work week, and Im glad to be home. Strangely comforting having my dog follow me like my shadow. I think he knows something isnt sitting well with me.
It started with a firefighter's funeral. It was nicely presented with the crossed ladders, color guard, and ringing of the bell. I think its sad that you find out more about people at their funerals than duing their lives. Everyone said he was quiet, shy- loved his job. I guess I see myself in that discription. I've responded to many line of duty shootings/stabbings/mvc's, however the two funerals Ive been to were both under 25. Its still bothers me the department I work for didnt require people to wear their class A- so people didn't- I just find that incredibly disrespectful; but I'm not in the position to change that.
It was also a week for critical calls, the "snow birds" are down, as we all know they come down to get sick. However the pediatric code was hard one this week. SIDS is just one of those things that make you look at the heavens and shout "why?" Why create a beautiful miriacle of a baby girl only to take her away two months later. Just doesn't sit right. I had the wonderful job of trying to extract info from the family as they ask "will she be all right?" we're doing all we can. "is she breathing?" we're breathing for her. "is her heart beating?" cpr is in progress, the epi is being administered.... knowing full well that although we ARE doing everything we can- this child is not comming back. Pedi Codes SUCK!
To a lesser degree I'd also like to bitch about appliances breaking and home improvement projects not getting done, and running out of money. Somehow putting your life on the line to save others is a $9.50/hr position. WTF! This is why people in EMS have 3 jobs- pay your taxes people!
I also get so increadibly lonely this time of year. I know I'm not alone in this but sometimes it feels that way. Family can be helpful, but sometimes your just the third wheel. I was hoping that when I loose some weight I'll have more confidence to meet someone, but i don't really know how to go about that. Anyway, I'm ranting now. Think I'll work out some of this aggravation on my bowflex seeing as I've had 2 shots of wild turkey now and just feel more riled up!
I'd like to respectfully say RIP to those who have passed this week.
When I am called to duty, God
Wherever flames may rage
Give me strength to save a life
Whatever be its age.
Let me embrace a little child
Before it is too late
Or save an older person from
The horror of that fate.
Enable me to be alert
And hear the weakest shout,
and quickly and efficiently
To put the fire out.
I want to fill my calling
To give the best in me,
To guard my friend and neighbor
And protect their property.
And, if, according to your will,
While on duty I must answer death's call;
Bless with your protecting hand
My family, one and all.