the awful no-good very-bad week.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
i went WAY off track over the past few days. WAY, WAY, WAY off track. fell off the wagon into the deepest hole ever.
last thursday, i bought a new pair of jeans: SIZE 5! omg, right?! i could not believe it. all the things this pair of size 5 jeans represents: a new healthy life, a new healthy body, a new way of living....all that good stuff!
anway, in order to celebrate these jeans and the past 6 months of EXREMELY hard work that it has taken to get into them, i decided to take a week off from the gym. it was going to be a gift to myself, and in perfect timing, because i had a very busy weekend with friends in town and work and lot's of personal projects that i've been needing to attend to.
the first couple days of no-workouts went fine, i watched what i ate and still stayed fairly active. but for some reason, i started to really BINGE on saturday. i fell into temptations BIG TIME. and i have been snowballing ever since...eating WAY TOO MUCH, eating junk and candy, drinking too many calorie-ridden cocktails and starbucks drinks. i haven't even been logging in everything i've been eating because it's embarassing and...i just don't want to know how many calories i am putting in my body. ugh.
a think a few factors started this crazy binge eating pattern:
1. faulty logic that i should be too smart enough to avoid ("welllll, i just bought a size 5 pair of jeans, so this ONE candy bar is a treat and a reward....").
2. the weather. i get really bad "winter depression," and the start of the dark winter season is really getting my down.
3. the simple fact that once i start, i can't stop. there is no middle ground for me re: food. it's either strict and healthy or it's an all-out snowball effect of bad eating choices.
4. the break i've been taking from working out may also be affecting my mood, and sadness/depression/inactivity = WANT TO EAT EAT EAT!
all that said, i must stop all this.
tomorrow is a new day. i'm going to spend a long time at the gym. i'm going to stick to veggies and proteins and i'm going to track honestly, and i'm going to avoid junk food. and i'm going to take some time to think about these binge eating patterns and what i need to do to avoid it in the future. wish me luck!