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the awful no-good very-bad week.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

i went WAY off track over the past few days. WAY, WAY, WAY off track. fell off the wagon into the deepest hole ever.

last thursday, i bought a new pair of jeans: SIZE 5! omg, right?! i could not believe it. all the things this pair of size 5 jeans represents: a new healthy life, a new healthy body, a new way of living....all that good stuff!

anway, in order to celebrate these jeans and the past 6 months of EXREMELY hard work that it has taken to get into them, i decided to take a week off from the gym. it was going to be a gift to myself, and in perfect timing, because i had a very busy weekend with friends in town and work and lot's of personal projects that i've been needing to attend to.

the first couple days of no-workouts went fine, i watched what i ate and still stayed fairly active. but for some reason, i started to really BINGE on saturday. i fell into temptations BIG TIME. and i have been snowballing ever since...eating WAY TOO MUCH, eating junk and candy, drinking too many calorie-ridden cocktails and starbucks drinks. i haven't even been logging in everything i've been eating because it's embarassing and...i just don't want to know how many calories i am putting in my body. ugh.

a think a few factors started this crazy binge eating pattern:
1. faulty logic that i should be too smart enough to avoid ("welllll, i just bought a size 5 pair of jeans, so this ONE candy bar is a treat and a reward....").
2. the weather. i get really bad "winter depression," and the start of the dark winter season is really getting my down.
3. the simple fact that once i start, i can't stop. there is no middle ground for me re: food. it's either strict and healthy or it's an all-out snowball effect of bad eating choices.
4. the break i've been taking from working out may also be affecting my mood, and sadness/depression/inactivity = WANT TO EAT EAT EAT!

all that said, i must stop all this.
tomorrow is a new day. i'm going to spend a long time at the gym. i'm going to stick to veggies and proteins and i'm going to track honestly, and i'm going to avoid junk food. and i'm going to take some time to think about these binge eating patterns and what i need to do to avoid it in the future. wish me luck!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My downfall has been the constant snacking. What did u substitute for the snacks? I just cooked up a batch of roasted cauliflower. One is sprinkled w/ EVOO & curry poweder. Other w/ taco seasoning. Almost as gd as popping buttered popcorn. emoticon We both nd to stay w/ the program..... emoticon
    3724 days ago
    I first read your post about how you were going to take a week off.. I replied to it about how I could never do that..because I'd be off the wagon.. It's a really good sign that you have already adressed the fact that you slipped.. but when we slip we get right back up! You can do this :) And I'm totally guilty of NOT logging in the rest of my calories when I've been over my goal.. I might note what I ate at the bottom but I HATE seeing over my calorie limit! hehe you look great, and I'm envious of your size five.. That is my first goal.. I'm a size 9. Stick with it.. you know what it's all about :)
    3726 days ago
    i read first "much lunch to you" in the reply above me. Well, I have never worked so hard at losing weight as you so I don't know and you probably know this, but people always say to reward yourself with non-food items. and maybe you should include a liiiitle more "comfort food" into your diet so you aren't depriving yourself. in the end its gotta be something you can really live with. i still havent lost my pounds but i'm just sayin'.
    3727 days ago
  • no profile photo QUINNYB
    Just wanted to let you know, as somebody who just joined, that I find your story very inspirational. I don't binge everyday, it's more like I yo yo binge for a week or month at a time but I maintain my weight. I'd like to lose 15 pounds with the help of SP. It's encouraging to see that even extremely successful people like yourself slip up, the key is to recognize it and stop it before it gets out of hand again. It sounds like you did that!
    PS. I'd die to be a size 5.
    3727 days ago
    thanks everyone for the supportive comments. it is SO hard. but we can do it!
    3727 days ago
    It happens to all of us. Trust me I seem to do this every couple of months. Just pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on. You have come this far, you can do it.
    p.s. congrats on size 5 that is amazing.
    3727 days ago
    That was how last weekend was for me. On Friday night Casey made pizza for dinner and I almost started crying because I didn't want to eat it but I was so very hungry. I ended up eating three slices! On Saturday we went to Portillos and although my mind wanted a salad, the voice said Italian beef with mozarella. On Sunday, Casey and Miles surprised me in bed with a donut. Then, to top everything off I made creme brule this weekend. I only had a little, but when Casey when eating the last bit of it last night, I almost started crying. It is soooooo hard when the temptation is right smack dab in your face. This is by FAR the hardest challenge I have ever undertaken.
    3727 days ago
    Tomorrow is indeed a new day to set things right in motion, much luch to you.
    3727 days ago
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