An Eating Disorder ... ME?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I have been binge free for almost a year now (11/17/09 will be a year).
My binge eating was very bad ... it controlled my life. All I ever thought about was eating ... I would be in pain and still raiding the kitchen or making another run for junk (fast food and goodies). I felt guilty, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, I would hide to eat, I truly hated myself. I was astounded by the quantity I could consume ... day after day - week after week - month after month. I was an eating machine. I was a complete emotional wreck. I didn't even know I had an eating disorder until I came to Sparkpeople. Once I understood binge eating was an eating disorder ... things started to make sense to me and I was able to better process my emotions and stress. I started to get myself under control. I finally had perspective. I took a 21 day binge free challenge ... I think with the Living Binge-free team and I stuck to it and have been going strong ever since. I made this vow to myself when I accepted the challenge:
I accept this challenge and I will take it to heart. I will fight as hard as I can to save my own life. I vow to stop sabotaging my efforts to be healthy and stop stretching my stomach to painful limits and I will reach out to all of you when I am feeling that urge to eat until I feel absolutely nothing. I will stop using food as a weapon to punish myself.
I meant it.
I feel so much better about myself now.