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An Eating Disorder ... ME?

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I have been binge free for almost a year now (11/17/09 will be a year).

My binge eating was very bad ... it controlled my life. All I ever thought about was eating ... I would be in pain and still raiding the kitchen or making another run for junk (fast food and goodies). I felt guilty, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, I would hide to eat, I truly hated myself. I was astounded by the quantity I could consume ... day after day - week after week - month after month. I was an eating machine. I was a complete emotional wreck. I didn't even know I had an eating disorder until I came to Sparkpeople. Once I understood binge eating was an eating disorder ... things started to make sense to me and I was able to better process my emotions and stress. I started to get myself under control. I finally had perspective. I took a 21 day binge free challenge ... I think with the Living Binge-free team and I stuck to it and have been going strong ever since. I made this vow to myself when I accepted the challenge:

I accept this challenge and I will take it to heart. I will fight as hard as I can to save my own life. I vow to stop sabotaging my efforts to be healthy and stop stretching my stomach to painful limits and I will reach out to all of you when I am feeling that urge to eat until I feel absolutely nothing. I will stop using food as a weapon to punish myself.

I meant it.


I feel so much better about myself now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • EVERSFARMING
    WOW! That's about all I can say. I have been reading different stories, trying to find something to help motivate me. Read several....came across yours and just kept reading! You have an awesome story. I am very proud of your sucesses! YOu look amazing! And the most recent photo! Fantastic, girl! Way to go!
    3983 days ago
  • LIVINGLIFENOW
    You've done amazing. I look up to you. emoticon
    4008 days ago
  • TESENISIS1
    Awesome job...you look great! Hope you keep up the good work and find that thin, healthy amazingly wonderful person that has been praying to come out and play!
    Tes emoticon
    4024 days ago
  • PENNYLEWIS
    Way to go!!!!
    4029 days ago
  • 2CATS2LOVE1
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Christy...so VERY PROUD OF YOU!!! You have done remarkably well on your goals. That above pic doesn't even look like you. Looks like it could be your mother or sister but certainly not you. Keep up the fine work remembering how good you are feeling now.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4030 days ago
  • LUCKYGIRL1
    Congrats on your achievements - you have so much to be proud of!

    Keep up the good work - we're always here if you need us!

    emoticon
    4031 days ago
  • BESTLIFE79
    The first part of this is totally me now! I sooo want to get out and change my life like you did yours.
    Congrats! You have to be very proud!! :)
    4032 days ago
  • EMILYBEMENT
    Well my dear what a great blog. So honest and this too shows how much you are growing!
    Never hate what you were because it too has made you who you are today. To think your victory is in the growth, knowledge and power that you have obtained. I am so happy for you and guess what you have worked your butt off and you my lady have done so well. Take a bow and give yourself some big kudos because you have earned it all. Never Christy never go back only forward and always Christy always know we are here for you come rain or shine. Look ahead and love the journey on your way to the new and bright future!
    4032 days ago
  • DISNEYPARIS
    Brilliant blog. You truely are an inspiration to others. Many congratulations on your weight loss success & overcoming what held you back in the past. I know from my own experience how much determination & hard work it takes to get there - and you did it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4032 days ago
  • JERSEYGIRL1950
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Goooooooooooooooo Christy...Bravo,bravo..look at that transformation you don't even look like the same person...like a butterfly from the cocoon and such a beautiful butterfly...spread your wings and fly girl...you must be so proud of you... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4032 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/12/2009 6:43:22 PM
  • DREMARGRL
    You know that I'm one of your fans, but I'll say it again.....FAB-U-LOUS JOB, Christy! I AM SOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU! You did this yourself....Noone did it for you. YOU made up your mind and did it. Coming in from the storm made you a gorgeous woman.....outside and inside. Now you also have compassion and THAT makes you beautiful, my friend. Keep up the good work you do on yourself and in inspiring others to continue or to begin. Kudos! emoticon emoticon
    4032 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.