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Soul Searching

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I woke up about 2:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I used the time to really reflect on my weight-loss progress.

The question basically is this: am I happy at 162-163-164? If so, I just need to call this thing a "success" and concentrate on maintaining. It STILL takes effort, but certainly not-so-much as losing.

OR, do I want more? Do I REALLY want to lose the last 20 pounds and get to my ultimate goal?

If that's the case, then I've got to stop talking about it and start BEING CONSISTENT and quit "phoning it in." I know it will come as no surprise to anyone that I'm off my plan about as many days as I'm on it.

Ironically, although I feel "free" when I'm not counting or tracking or watching, this too is its OWN rat race. I'm always hoping that I've been "on" enough of the week to lose 1/2 pound, or at least avoid a major gain.

So the way I see it, I may be down 20 pounds but I've NOT learned the moderation that will ultimately give me the inner peace of thinner peace! I'm STILL obsessing about my weight. That's DIFFERENT from thinking about it, planning my meals, blogging, recording, reading, etc.

OBSESSING is the thinking you do when you haven't done the REAL work.

So I'm blogging early today, to rededicate to doing the work to lose that last 20 pounds. It would be OK if I decided to stop here and say I'm happy. But I want more and I know I can do it. My goal today is to figure out the solutions to my current challenges and move forward from here.

TG
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NANCY-
    You can do it!
    4034 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4357551
    Good post TG. You hit exactly on what I've been going through except I KNOW I can't be happy here so - it's back on!

    Thanks for helping me clarify my thoughts!

    Vandal

    n> emoticon

    4034 days ago
  • TEACHINKIDS2
    emoticon plan! You can do this! Super job rededicating yourself! We're proud of YOU!
    4034 days ago
  • BREN4376
    Sounds like you got your head going in the right direction. Keep up the hard work.
    4035 days ago
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