getting back on track

i am so afraid now to step on the scale. for the past month and a half now, i haven't weighed myself. reason - i have skipped exercising for quite sometime due to my surgery and when i went back, i have not been regular. and, i have been going over my calorie range. the good part though is i still count what i eat, and try so hard to be within the range, and if ever i go over, if's probably just a few times and not really way over. I think i'm nto this resposible thinking already about portion control and i'm proud of it. but, i still think i may have gained a few pounds and i don't want that to make me feel down. but, deep inside, i want to go back on really close monitoring of my weight, food and working out! can i get some motivation from anyone?