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When does the battle end and the living begin?

Thursday, December 03, 2009

I lost the battle last night. I lost in so many ways. I was tired,frustrated, and feeling terrible about myself.

I didnt work out, but I didn't eat TOO bad either, just a little "off" the wagon shall we say.

I dont want to beat myself up over one night of "not perfect"; its not like I did a full on binge or anything. Still I'm sorta beating myself up over it, I'm aware of it, and stopping myself in my tracks, and purposefully telling myself its ok to not be perfect, yada yada yada....but I'm still feeling bad about it, still not liking the person I've become, physically and emotionally. I'm struggling, pushing and working through it. I know it's a process and its hard, and all that stuff. I'm just tired of the struggle now. Can't I just be ok with myself now, as I am and just surrender to the fact that I will eventually get to those goals I hope for? Can't I stop wanting it this second and beating myself up because I allowed myself to become this person?

I guess I just want to quit battling myself everyday over this. I've been playing this game for way way way too long.

When does the battle end, and the living begin?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I totally understand where you are coming from. We don't have to worry about others being critical about us, we do enough to ourselves. Struggles are a part of life, this I get, but I don't always understand it has to be a constant tug of war. I know it's okay to have off days. I know it's okay to not be perfect, but more importantly I KNOW we must learn to love ourselves first. I pray that our Precious Lord may grant you peace today from any worry, fear, doubt or struggle. Give all you are to God. He will carry you thru. emoticon emoticon
    4151 days ago
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    I can totally understand where you are coming from, I have been through this battle many times. The fact of the matter is, you aren't perfect, you will make mistakes and you will fall, but the joy is in realizing that tomorrow is a new day, you can do it even better the 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th time around. That is the wonderful thing about living. Each day brings you a new opportunity to pull it back together! Be proud that you are even TRYING to improve, one baby step at a time.

    Be encouraged,

    4151 days ago
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