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Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'm exhausted but can't sleep; I tried to no avail and am up with my frozen feet on a heating pad to garner warmth. I'm not really cold, I honestly think my extremities are cold because I'm anxious....which is why I can't sleep. Terrible, awful day at work that has led to questioning myself and seriously considering a job change. This would entail a lot but it's not impossible.

I do feel a bit better after deciding to forgive the person at work with whom I am battling. I believe forgiveness is so misunderstood and tonight I'm really striving to incorporate it into tomorrow, when I'll likely need it most. I think that forgiveness is for you, not for the person you're forgiving. It's letting go of all the hurt and anger associated with a wrong. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the act of the person was right. It doesn't mean it's forgotten, in fact, I believe "Forgive and forget" is a very misused term because it's generally not true. I have no intention of telling this person I've forgiven her...she won't believe it or understand it and this act is not for her, it's for me. It will allow me to let go of all the anger and hurt I feel. This person doesn't care if I'm angry or hurting, so hanging on to these negative feelings are only harming me, not her. Tonight, I'm just striving for a bit of soulful peace. Forgive.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Forgiveness is for you not the person who offended you. Holding grudges, bad feelings, etc. only hurts you not them!!
    3870 days ago
    Kill Them with Kindness!

    "This person doesn't care if I'm angry or hurting, so hanging on to these negative feelings are only harming me, not her."
    Your statement is SO TRUE!
    YOU are such a Smart Lady!
    Sending Peace Your way!!!!!!!!!!
    3880 days ago
    ((((SUSAN))))) Great wisdom you're demonstrating with this blog.

    3880 days ago
    I do hope that last night you had relief. I get how writing when sleep is invaded can be the only way to extradite demon emotions. I've had my share, too. And what is wonderful for you is the awareness of what it takes to find peace and clarity. It isn't easy but it's simple enough. One day at a time.
    3881 days ago
    I agree - forgiveness is not about the person who offended, its about you. Forgiveness is for you. Malice only hurts you. Forgive and find peace for yourself. It doesn't mean you won't take action. It means your actions will emerge from clarity and peace, not from malice. Look at your situation and do what's right for you.
    3882 days ago
    Somewhere I recently read a story about "give them more" I have used it a lot lately at work. The story was about giving some one more love because they really need it. So I just wish them love and hope they find happiness, seems to really help me move on in a positive light.
    3882 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/17/2009 1:18:36 AM
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