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I am not going to be a Spectator in my life anymore!

Friday, January 01, 2010

I planned on going snow shoeing today. My daughter wanted to go with me. So instead we went cross country skiing because I do not have 2 pairs of snow shoes. So we start skiing out of our driveway. Lissy fell twice. Here is a slow motion picture of it. So we go a little further and she gives me the "I quit " look. So she heads back to the house to change into my snow shoes and I will keep going on the skis.
When I am alone, I think. And I thought about how many times in the past I have quit. Turned around. Lost lots of weight, and then given up and then gained my weight and then some more. As I am going down this unfamiliar trail I come across quite a large puddle. Darn it. I had to take my skis off and walk around this puddle. Careful not to fall into it.
But I did not turn around.

I reach the Power lines and Lissy and I start going. I am nervous because I do not want to fall. I have a fear of injuring myself and then not being able to work out any more. And then the thought hit me. How many times have I held back in my life? Always afraid of failure. Or I held back because of feeling of low self worth. Really, I did have them. Yeah, it is easy to think that I have always been inspiring and full of hope, but that is not the way it has always been.
I remember my kids asking me to take them to a water park, I did not want to go. I did not want to be seen in public wearing next to nothing. I have gone twice in 10 years.
I have avoided swimming at family pool parties. I was paranoid while shopping that people were judging the food I put in my cart. And people do look.
But in the last year I have learned not to be a spectator in my life. I want pictures with my kids. There are far too few pictures of me and my kids.
So lissy is shoeing.
I am fearing the hill, but I am doing pretty good with it. Here I go! building steam!
I am plugging away and then....
Ok, I assess the situation. No broken bones. Pride bruised. And then a belly laugh ensued. So I take my skis off and precede to make a snow angel. Fun Fun Fun.
Something that I would not have done a while ago, because that meant a butt print in the snow.
It was a beautiful day. Look how happy I am chilling with my youngest
And my baby Joey
So the next time that you feel intimidated not to try something in fear of bringing attention to yourself. Or if you put off trying something because you are too fat. Think twice about it. And live life to the fullest. Can't say I remember the last time I made a snow angel, and it was fun!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for the visit. I've been missing me too! (on Spark that is) Love the pictures of healthy good fun. Thanks for the inspiration. I'll be back around now that the dust has settled. I have come to rely on my daily dose of inspiration from my Spark friends. I am glad to be back and thanks for sharing your healthy lifestyle!
    4116 days ago
    What a fun day. John and I hope to get out with you and lissy soon. Hugs
    4116 days ago
    What a great blog and love the photos! You have put into words how many of us feel or have felt from time to time. Afraid of failure and retreating to that comfort zone we all know but also don't really love because it holds us back from living, really living.
    Looks like you had a great day and one which you will be able to remember and think I'm glad I did that, instead of I wish I had done that! emoticon
    4116 days ago
    Jeanne, once again your positive attitude is an inspiration to me. I, too, spend half my life fearing all the bad things that *might* happen, and miss most of the fun in the process. I am going to remember your example, and determine to laugh at myself, and make more snow angels out of my falls this year. THANK YOU for the great lesson! emoticon
    4116 days ago
    Yes Yes Yes! So inspiring. I loved the story and the photos and the message. Time to stop thinking about living and to start living!

    Thank you
    4116 days ago
  • JLITT62
    Wow, your daughter looks just like you! What a great blog, and yes, very inspirational. It really spoke to me, because yes, I have put off a lot of things because of fear, too.
    4117 days ago
    Jeanne, what a great day you had with your daughter! Mom showing the daughter no to quick. way to go. getting fit means we can spend more time with our kids.
    4117 days ago
    Great job! No holding back this year!
    4117 days ago
  • SUGIRL06
    You are too cute! Looked like fun!
    4117 days ago
    Sounds like a wonderful day! Glad that you only hurt your pride when you fell, and how nice of Lissy to take your picture when you were down. I guess it was payback for you taking hers, lol! emoticon

    I'm so proud of you for all you have done, you look great, and the tone of your blogs are so upbeat! Thanks for the inspiration!
    4117 days ago
    Good for you, glad you had fun! That's the key.
    4117 days ago
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