I planned on going snow shoeing today. My daughter wanted to go with me. So instead we went cross country skiing because I do not have 2 pairs of snow shoes. So we start skiing out of our driveway. Lissy fell twice. Here is a slow motion picture of it.
So we go a little further and she gives me the "I quit " look. So she heads back to the house to change into my snow shoes and I will keep going on the skis.
When I am alone, I think. And I thought about how many times in the past I have quit. Turned around. Lost lots of weight, and then given up and then gained my weight and then some more. As I am going down this unfamiliar trail I come across quite a large puddle. Darn it. I had to take my skis off and walk around this puddle. Careful not to fall into it.
But I did not turn around.
I reach the Power lines and Lissy and I start going. I am nervous because I do not want to fall. I have a fear of injuring myself and then not being able to work out any more. And then the thought hit me. How many times have I held back in my life? Always afraid of failure. Or I held back because of feeling of low self worth. Really, I did have them. Yeah, it is easy to think that I have always been inspiring and full of hope, but that is not the way it has always been.
I remember my kids asking me to take them to a water park, I did not want to go. I did not want to be seen in public wearing next to nothing. I have gone twice in 10 years.
I have avoided swimming at family pool parties. I was paranoid while shopping that people were judging the food I put in my cart. And people do look.
But in the last year I have learned not to be a spectator in my life. I want pictures with my kids. There are far too few pictures of me and my kids.
So lissy is shoeing.
I am fearing the hill, but I am doing pretty good with it. Here I go! building steam!
I am plugging away and then....
Ok, I assess the situation. No broken bones. Pride bruised. And then a belly laugh ensued. So I take my skis off and precede to make a snow angel. Fun Fun Fun.
Something that I would not have done a while ago, because that meant a butt print in the snow.
It was a beautiful day. Look how happy I am chilling with my youngest
And my baby Joey
So the next time that you feel intimidated not to try something in fear of bringing attention to yourself. Or if you put off trying something because you are too fat. Think twice about it. And live life to the fullest. Can't say I remember the last time I made a snow angel, and it was fun!