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#193: Why The Self-Doubt?

Friday, January 08, 2010

Is it easier to believe in another person than in ourselves?

It seems to be a theme of a number of today's blogs that members are doubting themselves and doubting their desire to become successful with their weight loss and fitness program. They express that they are not worthy of success. They bemoan that they lost only 1.5 pounds when they have worked so hard and deserved to have lost more. They are upset about losing only an inch or two when they feel they should have lost more.

What these members fail to see is the big picture. What has actually happened?

They have continued to pursue their exercise and food intake goals. They have lost weight. They have lost inches. They have progressed.

But they want more. And, because they want more, and want it right now, they do not see the progress they have made and they do not appreciate that bigger losses may happen next week, maybe even overnight. All they need to do is to keep up a good effort, don't give up and keep a positive attitude.

They must also believe.

They must believe in the program. They must believe in the successes of others. They must believe in the progress they have made.

Most of all, they must believe they are worthy of success. They need to look at the positives along their journey to better fitness and health and believe in themselves. No one else can do this for us. Self-confidence comes from within. No one can give it to us. It is something that must be self-developed and can be if we focus on the positives.

Lose "just" one or two pounds when you thought it should be five? Focus on the true fact that you HAVE lost weight. Lose "only" a couple of inches when you thought it should be more? Focus on how much looser your clothes fit.

Focus on the positives and your progress. Focus on the goodness inherent inside you. Focus on where you want to go and how far you have come. Focus on how much you have learned. Focus on YOU and realize that, in all the existence of the universe, there has been and only will be one of YOU. Celebrate your uniqueness.

You CAN do this. Maybe not as fast as you would like. Just as you didn't put on 20 or 50 or 200 pounds overnight, neither will you lose it overnight. But don't give up. Do not ever give up. Keep working out and eating right and it WILL happen for you as it has for so many others who at one time doubted themselves. Like them, you will learn that you CAN be successful.

You deserve to be, don't you?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What wonderful comments and insights to this blog. Thank you for posting something so timely as tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I am (WAS) already fretting on losing just .5 lbs. Why do we feel the need to be more? Is it because age and health issues loom at our doors and we fear that we've wasted our summers playing and need to work hard before winter sets in? Do we see ourselves as the grasshopper and not the ant? Do we then fear that God is angry with us and we need to 'hurry' and please Him before some kind of punishment follows? Maybe these are all of our subconscious thoughts. Maybe they're just mine.................
    4068 days ago
    I believe that sometimes we are seeking approval and that's why we make such statements. We want the other person to validate what we have done. Thanks for your wonderful insight. This was a timely submission and one that reminds me of my mom's admonitions to thank God for small mercies because they add up to become big blessings.
    4069 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5002230
    I was in that negative "revolving door" with so much momentum that it simply spun me around and ditched me right back where I began no matter how many times I attempted to be positive.

    The only answer for me was to come face to face with the love of God. When I saw how highly He esteemed me, I learned to accept myself and expect to triumph in the life He gave me.

    I pray we can all see that we are created for success.

    4069 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114015
    Lou, I am late today...BUT I am glad. This one was worth saving and savoring...this has to be one of my top picks of your blogs...and I AM going to save this one in an email to myself! Thank you EVER so much, my special friend...I am so glad I know you and have found your blogs!
    4069 days ago
  • WALNUT5612
    Another great blog!
    4069 days ago
    A definite mind game and sadly we are a society of 'quick fixes' so easily discouraged when it doesn't happen fast enough. Slow and steady is what wins the race so all these folks need to focus on the big picture and remember, this is NOT a diet but a lifestyle change. One for the better for the long haul.

    4069 days ago
    What a great blog. And I agree.
    I'm actually in a place where I'm working on my future planning, on my mental health, on my career, on my inner joy and I find that I'm happy with enjoying one glass of red wine (a good one) and sticking with my yoga and sticking with my current weight.
    I'm a normal weight, so I think I get to do that - but I've noticed that the farther I get into this journey, the less it is about 1.5 pounds of 2 inches, but about finding my way to me and loving the me I found and develop there.
    Love your blogs.
    4069 days ago
    Humans are a strange mixture of being absolutely certain that we are defective, deficient, damaged in some way and being prideful and arrogant at the same time. On any day we can say with a sense of joy and accomplishment: I lost a pound and a half last week!! On the same day we can also say: I can't believe I only lost a pound and a half. The pound and a half is the same no matter what spin we put on it. How we feel about ourselves, the kind of feedback others give us, so many things affect how we perceive that pound and a half. Being positive about ourselves and others goes such a long, long way. Thank you again for your insights, Lou.
    4069 days ago
    I have wondered if the doubts that surface at this time of year are, indeed, seasonal. We are in the midst of Winter, and have just gone through the holidays. I really think there is just a kind of fog that hangs overhead at this time of year. Your blog is excellent; we must focus on the positive.

    Thanks for sharing this!
    4069 days ago
  • RENA1965
    yeah it gets to me when people say I only lost 1.5lbs. I actually have started to write- hey you wrote you lost 1.5lbs-isn't that a loss remembering a healthy loss is 1-2lbs??
    I don't think many people read what they actually write or are thinking logical.. Truth is a lifestyle is working 95% working with the minds mindsets.. Sure people loss weight and want it off fast- the brain is about 1 year behind if really honest from my own 6 year journey. It needs more than seeing the scales to realise it is doing a good job.. Many people need the services of a pshyotherapist to better self respect.. I call this self hate the broken record syndrome..
    4069 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/8/2010 10:02:16 PM
    am usually satisfied with whatever progress I make each week. I can't really say yet that I know in my heart I will succeed. I can only hope for that kind of certainty. I want to believe that I deserve to be healthy. All I know for sure is that today I was willing to eat healthy and results will come. Thank you for giving me something to think about. Hugs from Janet in central Illinois.
    4069 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6035648
    Just have to wonder, where does all this self doubt come from? Is it something that we've learned from birth? Is it a low self esteem issue? Is it due to the "failures" in our lives? Or from the times when we thought we were "successful" only to be told "not good enough"? I also wonder, where else does this self-doubt permeate into our lives, and how much have we lost because of it?
    4069 days ago
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